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  1. MrsMoose

    Not Wanting to Eat or Drink

    Just to update you. We've talked more to the care home staff and it seems likely that the loss of appetite is linked to cancer, and my father in law may only have a few months to live. I may be back, but I just wanted to say now how useful I've found this forum. Really grateful to everyone who...
  2. MrsMoose

    Not Wanting to Eat or Drink

    How common is this? My father in law used to forget to make himself eat or drink - but for the last year he has been in a care home, where his meals are cooked and there is morning and afternoon tea/coffee or well. But he has started to not want to eat or drink. He isn't depressed that we can...
  3. MrsMoose

    Attendance Allowance Query - Special Rules?

    My father in law's dementia began to deteriorate sharply back in August so we applied for higher rate attendance allowance. (He already had the lower rate) He's just been awarded this - but we'd not really taken in about the six month rule, so it's been awarded from February onwards. He will be...
  4. MrsMoose

    Suggestions for Short Visits.

    Thanks. When he was in sheltered accommodation we might watch part of one of his favourite DVDs with him. Now he's in a care home he tends to want to sit in the quietest of the three sitting rooms. He's not a 'huggy' sort of man, so though I can see that touch is important it might not come...
  5. MrsMoose

    Suggestions for Short Visits.

    Fortunately my father in law's care home is very near to where we live. He seems to appreciate regular visits. However, his dementia problem has become really severe so that when we speak to him he often looks very confused. For example it's as if he's struggling to remember names of people...
  6. MrsMoose

    Can I help my husband?

    It's a good question. I think he finds dementia very frightening. So the anger is a reaction to the fear. Perhaps he is worried that he too will suffer from this illness as he gets older. He's a very energetic person, who likes to effect changes. He gets quite aggrieved even when he has a cold...
  7. MrsMoose

    Can I help my husband?

    Yes, I think you're right about grief. How do you persuade a 'stiff upper lip' type that counselling can be helpful, I wonder...?
  8. MrsMoose

    Can I help my husband?

    My father in law is in a care home - recently having moved from sheltered accommodation. And he's also been in and out of hospital. My husband has been very good at all the practical tasks associated with moving my father in law. He is also dutiful, visiting my father in law regularly. Though...
  9. MrsMoose

    Worried about Discharge from Hospital

    My father in law is coming to the end of this third hospital stay in under 8 weeks. After a recent move from sheltered accommodation to a care home, the care staff discovered extensive bruising. This led to admission 1 which lasted over a week, and in which it was found he had two broken ribs...
  10. MrsMoose

    Don't Feel Strong Enough.

    I think because he is deteriorating fast, it reminds me of when my own father was dying some years back. But of course, it's necessary to battle on. And one of the things about this forum is that I realise that our situation is better than what other people are having to cope with.
  11. MrsMoose

    Don't Feel Strong Enough.

    I don't feel strong enough to deal with what the next few months is likely to bring. My father in law is deteriorating fast. In the last three weeks he has been admitted twice to hospital. Once after a fall where the care home staff discovered he had broken two ribs. Again after an attack of...
  12. MrsMoose

    Getting Father in Law out of hospital

    He got admitted there after a fall - broken ribs. Something weird also happened to his blood flow afterwards because he has a pacemaker. And then the hospital discovered an aortic aneurysm. This all happened about 6 days ago. The rib is healing as ribs do. The hospital however is holding onto...
  13. MrsMoose

    Buying clothes,where from?

    Brilliant idea! We don't have any really big supermarkets near us - but it's worth trying online.
  14. MrsMoose

    Buying clothes,where from?

    I'd be interested to know about people's experiences shopping for men. My 96 year old father in law has always preferred more formal clothes and would regard elasticated trousers with horror. He too feels the cold but has ruined all his woollen jumpers by spilling food/cooking fat on them, then...
  15. MrsMoose

    New Confusion

    Hi Amy. I think we're finding sorting out belongings in my father in law's old flat (he was in sheltered accommodation) very tiring. I think he's doing well given how much he likes routine. The staff have been able to persuade him to have an assisted shower and he is enjoying the food. He finds...
  16. MrsMoose

    New Confusion

    My father-in-law has two sons. He moved into a care home on Saturday and today I went to see him. A member of staff went up to tell him his daughter in law had arrived. He came down looking puzzled saying, 'Hello. Why did they tell me my daughter in law was here.' I said, 'Well, what...
  17. MrsMoose

    When does memory loss become a real worry

    I think 'memory problems' are one of the ways in which dementia becomes apparent to relatives. For example my husband first realised something was really wrong when his father had forgotten that he'd been found to have slow growing prostate cancer. There'd been an episode when he'd been...
  18. MrsMoose

    Care Home Conversations.

    Update. My father-in-law has agreed to move into a well-run care home near us that has a vacant place. I feel shattered, and we haven't even started doing the things we now have to do!
  19. MrsMoose

    Care Home Conversations.

    Thanks to everyone for their replies. All these stories/experiences are useful.
  20. MrsMoose

    Care Home Conversations.

    Thanks so much for your reply Amy...