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  1. L

    sucessful admission to a care home during covid restrictions...

    Sounds like it worked well for you too, how lovely that she could pack her own bag. Heres hoping they both come to enjoy it.
  2. L

    sucessful admission to a care home during covid restrictions...

    really fortunately we had looked round before covid and so seen the inside also had recomendations from people locally. no recce post covid. however when we did decide they sent us pictures of the avaiable bedrooms and i got them to show me the 2 rooms from the outside which was useful because...
  3. L

    sucessful admission to a care home during covid restrictions...

    we did pre admission over the phone. she is meant to be in isolation for 14 days (they dont routinely test none symptomatic people) however i expressed secepticism that this would work!!!! and strongly recomended they test her. which they did, so just "isolation suite" until the results come...
  4. L

    mum in denial not accepting help, beginning to dislike her

    So much to agree with. I dont know if this helps? I am basically quite bossy. What I have learnt though this journey is that i often over step the mark and while some things are dangerous other things are ok to let go. The voice in my head tells me "what will people think..." I would work out...
  5. L

    sucessful admission to a care home during covid restrictions...

    Hi after much agonsing we made the desision to move MIL to a residential home. Her behaviour challenging without covid became even more difficult when her community was removed from her and with no concept of social distancing she risked herself on others on each of her frequent trips out of the...
  6. L

    move into a home...

    thank you all for your great ideas. i will work out my cover story and go for it! lots of great tips i would never have considered.
  7. L

    move into a home...

    thank you in my head i am imagining prising her fingers off the door frames as she realises what is happening. i think we just need a plan and to stick to it!
  8. L

    move into a home...

    thank you love the idea of taking her things at a different time and having it there also having more than one person there. i do feel guilty particularly because of the times we are in and risk and at the same time i have done all i can and her complete inability to social distance has been...
  9. L

    move into a home...

    thank you. subterfuge is hard but best way i think. not saying goodbye also a good plan.
  10. L

    move into a home...

    they are not coming out to assess which is difficult (for me) because there is so much they dont know. what they are doing is admissions during meal times so other residents arnt there. masks and ppe i hadnt considered so good to know.
  11. L

    move into a home...

    hi after much effort over the last 6 weeks to keep MIL at home with 24-7 carers we have made the hard decision she needs to go into a home. found one with spaces and preparing for the assessment. would appriciate advice on how to get someone who doesnt want to go into a home moved into a home...
  12. L

    Social distancing with Dementia

    I am really lucky that we have a commuity arround my MIL the neighbours know and have my number. The shops know and have my number. We run the risk of someone taking advantance. We have taken strategies to limit that possibility with the bank and what we allow her to have. And found that...
  13. L

    My anger

    Its ok to be human. Being angry is so hard. Being human is pretty hard to sometimes! I know you have no energy but noted that your title "my anger" so wanted to speak to that. I dont know if you have otherways you sucessfully manage your anger and if its worth having a list of things you could...
  14. L

    lock down hell...

    Fortunately not turned to drink! For every bad situation there is a worse possibility if you have a little imagination!!! I have thought of leave. Some kind of family rota to get us through this next bit and help her be calm again. Ironically before we had the live in care my son (18) lived with...
  15. L

    lock down hell...

    Thank you. Thats a lovely thing to have been told. 10 years ago she would have been very suprised it would be me caring for her!!!! We never got on till now. If we had what she would have wanted it isnt something i am prepared to do for her. However 10 years ago she would have understood that...
  16. L

    lock down hell...

    carer is safe. i wouldnt leave anyone in a situation that wasnt safe neither would im sure their manager. thank you for your concern. i am not scared of her anger i am scared of the impact on her of her being unhappy and distressed. i am attempting to predict what could happen if she could no...
  17. L

    lock down hell...

    Thanks guys. Its just all very final.... They will lock her in. She will be so angry. She will probably try to hurt herself or someone else. She will get sectioned. We wont see her for months and when we do she will have lost us. Today went up and gave her breakfast. She was busy telling the...
  18. L

    lock down hell...

    I dont really think anyone can help but if you can sieve through this lot and offer anything of value please help... my MIL has apparently advanced dementia. until 10 days ago living independently but getting worse over the previous 6 weeks with rapid deterioration over 3 weeks. main issues we...
  19. L

    The agony goes on...

    They wont tell you the name of the doctor but they can accept your concerns. Ether verbally or in letter form.
  20. L

    What to do when a parent no longer knows her children?

    That is so beautifully put. My MIL has no idea who we are "the friends down the road" and yet know she can trust in our love. While its so sad she doesnt know my other half is her son he takes great pleasure when she asks him where his mother (me).