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  1. Cinder

    I fear this is unsustainable - has anyone considered using a home care agency?

    We have carers coming in to help with MIL. First agency was pants, second is really good so far. You have to monitor them, but if the money's there it's a great help. x Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
  2. Cinder

    Moving Nanny from her home in Ireland to a CH in UK - Advice Needed!

    Also- be aware she won't have any entitlement to attendance allowance as her pension will be coming from Ireland, which disqualifies her. This means you can't claim any carer's allowance. Although, as she's going into a home this probably won't be relevant. Just thought I should mention it...
  3. Cinder

    Moving Nanny from her home in Ireland to a CH in UK - Advice Needed!

    We moved my MIL from Ireland to live with us. She has adjusted fine- the differences between the countries are very slight, as I'm sure you know, and we found one of our neighbours grew up 4 doors down from MIL! We found the more Irish accents she hears the happier and more confident she is...
  4. Cinder

    Is MIL dying?

    Goodness, so she could hang on for years yet by the sounds of it. We were wondering whether we should let her slip away, but if she could snap out of it maybe we should keep fighting her corner. Thank you both for your replies. And Spamar, I'm so sorry for your loss. Sent from my iPhone...
  5. Cinder

    Is MIL dying?

    Ok, maybe a stupid question as I know alz is eventually terminal. However my MIL is still scoring fairly high on MMSE tests (23 out of 30) and we expected to be caring for her for many years. The last 3 months she has stopped eating almost completely (maybe half a bowl of soup each day under...
  6. Cinder

    Time to give in?

    Thank you Stresshead. I've just sent them an email via the link on their website so hopefully I'll get some joy there. It his forum really is wonderful! Everyone is so kind. ☺️ Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
  7. Cinder

    Time to give in?

    Thank you. I'm sorry to be so negative. It just gets so wearing. We don't have admiral nurses in our area but I'll try the email & see if they can offer any advice. Thanks again. Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
  8. Cinder

    Time to give in?

    Stress head- sorry you're in a similar place. It's so draining trying to figure out what's 'best'. Loovilo- we have been through the fussy eating stage since she first moved in. We always ate together as a family, kids too. She would eat small amounts of the same meal. She has had soups and...
  9. Cinder

    Time to give in?

    We have managed my MIL for nearly 2 years in our home. We have tried every strategy to help her eat & stay involved in life. We have nagged and nagged to get her out of bed and to wash and now to eat. Lately she is eating and drinking almost nothing. She spends most of her time asleep in bed or...
  10. Cinder

    Refusing nearly all food

    It's Ensure that she is on. It's a chocolate milkshake. It just feels like we have suddenly gone from using them as a dietary top-up to being all she will take. Her fluid intake is poor also, so we are constantly nagging her to drink. I'm sorry you're finding the same problems, Patricia. It's...
  11. Cinder

    Refusing nearly all food

    She only has two- and that is only since she started refusing everything else. Previously it was one a day... Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
  12. Cinder

    Refusing nearly all food

    Hi- I've had success over the past 2 years feeding MIL soups, cakes, chocolate,ice-cream & soft food. The last month, however, she is refusing nearly everything. On a normal day she might manage half a bowl of soup & a yoghurt. She has nutritional milkshakes from doctor which she still takes...
  13. Cinder

    CH and care costs.

    We've researched CH costs in Hertfordshire. Residential specialist Alzheimer's nursing care comes in at around £950 a week. At home care varies considerably depending on hours needed. Average £10-£14 an hour daytime care. Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
  14. Cinder

    Has anybody had any experience with Gout ?

    Yes- it is a form of arthritis. It is caused by crystals of Uric acid forming in the joints. It is the most painful arthritis it is possible to get. Thankfully the attacks are only 2 weeks in duration! Allopurinol tablets prevent flare-ups. Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
  15. Cinder

    Has anybody had any experience with Gout ?

    My husband suffers from gout. It is excruciating. Joints are red, swollen & shiny. Pain is constant & not affected by pressure or rest of the joint. It is usually found on the ankle "knuckle" when in that joint. The boney bit on the inside of the ankle rather than the outside. If he has...
  16. Cinder

    Hiding symptoms

    My MILs sister is visiting. Tonight they went through some old photos. Although MIL remembered most of the people, the events themselves were lost. We are quite shocked as we thought she was only at the short-term loss stage. It appears she is much better at masking than we realised.... Sent...
  17. Cinder

    My daughter

    My youngest is 2 also & has only ever known granny as she is. It's really tough being sandwiched in the middle, trying to care for opposite generations! Good luck with your chat with your daughter. Let us know how it goes, Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
  18. Cinder

    My daughter

    Oh it's so hard with little ones isn't it? Our eldest is 5 and has had increasingly negative interactions with granny over the last 18 months. She hit him a few times, once with her handbag, and she makes fun of him by mimicking in much the same way little children do. Add to this her offensive...
  19. Cinder

    When to go into CH?

    Thank you very much for your advice & kind words. I wish there was some way to predict the course of this disease... I think you all are right to scope out some care homes now before a crisis occurs. We are fortunate (?) that MIL is mobility impaired so wandering is not an issue. She has been...
  20. Cinder

    When to go into CH?

    Thank you Canary. I see my post overlapped yours. We are deciding whether it is worth building an extension to care for her or not. She is funding it (deprivation of assets not an issue) and we are questioning whether we should go ahead if she might be in CH in a year's time. But how do we...