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  1. L

    Two years on.

    It’s coming up to a year since my Mum passed and I still feel angry about how she was treated in hospital. She broke her hip and although the op was a success she wouldn’t cooperate with the physios. Result - she was not encouraged to get out of bed, in fact treated as a pariah, and went quickly...
  2. L

    Rock Bottom

    It seems obvious that the time has come for you to give up the struggle and let OH go to residential care. The obstacle may be SS who, from my experience, will try every trick in the book to keep the burden on you to avoid any financial responsibility. If you have the financial resources to pay...
  3. L

    Christmas

    Mum's nursing home was lovely but Christmas Day there was grim. We seemed to be the only visitors, some staff hadn't turned up and we ended up helping to serve the evening meal to the residents, none of whom actually realised that it was Christmas Day. We then had a 2 hour drive home and had...
  4. L

    Nan keeps remembering her mum

    I would always get round it by reminding Mum in a jokey way that Nana would be 115 if she were still alive and then distracting her from being upset by talking about Nana and unique things she did.
  5. L

    Mum still in hospital

    my Mum has been in hospital for a week after falling and breaking her hip. The surgery was a complete success but she has been very distressed and refusing to eat ever since. We had world war 3 when the physios tried to get her out of bed but once they finally got her out she has been a lot more...
  6. L

    Refusing help

    I'm afraid you have to turn into a bit of a bully to get anywhere in this situation. My parents totally refused care despite their evident needs and I had to be quite forceful with them to agree to carers visiting. SS tend to be no help - they are trained that the client has choice and this...
  7. L

    Assessment

    NO! Insist on a visit from the GP, who should make a referral to the Memory Clinic.
  8. L

    Frustrated with Mum

    Yes, I appreciate that. Her dementia is worse - today was the first time she didn't recognise me - but it's worrying that she is being so resistant. Any physical contact sets her off. The hospital staff are very concerned about her not eating and drinking, less so about getting her mobile at the...
  9. L

    Descion made

    You have to try and not let the guilt monster take you over. Your dear Mum has needs that you can't be expected to manage, especially if your own health is not good. Making yourself ill would not do your Mum any favours. I'm sure when the dust settles you'll see that you are both better off and...
  10. L

    Frustrated with Mum

    Mum fell and broke her hip last Friday. Successful operation on Saturday despite dire warnings that she might peg out on the operating table. Surgeons are extremely happy with the outcome and see no problem getting her back to her previous level of mobility. Mum has other ideas. She's always...
  11. L

    Don't think I'll get much sleep tonight

    Mum was a little bit better today. At least they had got rid of the cannula, though there was a suggestion that they might feed her intravenously "because she won't eat" . Rubbish. I have been there at tea time for the last 2 days and with my help she's done OK. as long as the food has been...
  12. L

    Advice on bank cards/finances

    It does help if you have a local bank that actually knows its customers. Mum had been going to the same branch for 40 years and the staff knew her well. I had been going in with her to do her banking for a year or two before the need arose for me to have 3rd party access, which was not a problem...
  13. L

    Need help for my mum

    You should ask for a referral to the memory clinic. They will at least give you a proper diagnosis and access to suitable meds, evidence for attendance allowance and support from social services, if you haven't already had any of these.
  14. L

    Don't think I'll get much sleep tonight

    Well, Mum came through the op with no problems whatsoever despite all the predictions of doom and gloom She's obviously a tough old boot! Thank you to everyone who posted .I've spent this afternoon at the hospital trying to stop her getting out of bed and failing miserably in preventing her...
  15. L

    Dad given days to live. Not coping!

    My Mum, also 89 with a broken hip, is in theatre as I write. The drs have warned me that it is high risk and even if she survives the op things could go downhill quickly during rehab. I'll say a little prayer for them both.
  16. L

    Don't think I'll get much sleep tonight

    Thank you for your good wishes, people. Mum went down to theatre this morning. I'm waiting by the phone for the ward to call. My stomach is in knots.....
  17. L

    Don't think I'll get much sleep tonight

    My dear old mum has had good mobility - gets about with a walking stick - up to the last week, when she started having dizzy spells. This morning the CH staff found her on the floor beside her bed - cue a trip to hospital and the dreaded diagnosis of a broken hip. She's due to go for surgery...
  18. L

    Regional differences in care home prices

    I can't help feeling that I m very lucky with my Mum, who pays £515 a week as a self -funding resident. Her Care Home is just that - homely, with lovely caring staff, and although it could do with some updating \I'd rather put up with that than worriying that Mum wasn't being looked after. Fancy...
  19. L

    How much can you actual do/influence parents to get support

    My dad flatly refused support, abetted by the wet behind the ears social worker who kept bleating on about how it was his choice to have carers or not. I'm afraid I got quite stroppy with him and told him it was going to happen, at which point he gave in quite meekly. I know a couple of other...
  20. L

    Social services responsibilities for MIL?

    I really don't see what advantage having a social worker would be in this situation. If MIL is self funding and you have POA why can you not just find her a place in respite care? At least you will know that she is safe and being looked after. Even ignoring the question of safety it will be...