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    Disturbing News

    Had a visit from the Community Mental Health Team leader last week who came round to tell me that Jean’s Friday Day Centre attendance is under review. The Centre she uses is dedicated to Advanced Alzheimers patients and is open from 9 am to 3 pm on Fridays. There are about 9 patients that...
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    Quick update that may be helpful. After discussions with the Mental Health Team and other professionals the only idea that they could come up with was the administration of sleeping pills to quieten Jean down during the night. I disliked that idea on several grounds, such as the addictive...
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    As a 24/7 carer for my wife I am aware that I must pay attention to my own health and well being. You know the sort of thing, don’t take unnecessary risks, eat properly, drive carefully and, above all, get plenty of rest when possible. Recently my nights have been disturbed as Jean sometimes...
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    Spaghetti Bath

    Well Jean, you have just had your 67th Birthday. Note, please, I say had rather than celebrated because, at our ages, Birthdays are not really celebrated as they have been in the past. Cards, presents, special meals, drinks, trips out and shows are not really the thing these days. It’s not...
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    The Sense of Humour has taken a knock

    After a short illness my Mother died yesterday. Ok, so she was 92 and had not a lot going for her with illnesses which included a broken shoulder, diabetes, dementia and pneumonia but she was my Mum and the only one I had. The Nursing staff and I made efforts to combat her last illness...
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    Comparatively new kid on the block

    Badietta I feel a great deal of sympathy for you. I started losing my wife at the age of 56 but suspect, looking back, that it started earlier than that. The thing is, you are now faced with challenges for which you will need help and guidance and I think you will find that help and...
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    guilty feelings

    Faye77. You are certainly not alone. The guilt feelings can become very obsessive if allowed to. At times, knowing what was in store for Jean, it almost drove me to want to put her out of misery. But whose misery, hers or mine? Terrible decision and I decided that it was my misery...
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    What top questions would you ask when drawing up a care home shortlist for visits?

    If I may suggest that you must have a very clear idea of what it is you want from a Care Home. It would not be helpful to compare the Home care with the care that you can give. In my searching for a Home i set the target at 80% of the care I could give. So far, I have not reached that...
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    Has anyone else experienced this?

    Hi Angela53. Must admit to only coming close to your problems with my wife, Jean. If it helps, i found that a visit to the local Incontinence Clinic was very informative and I received a great deal of assistance from the staff there. It took about an hours interview with the staff and...
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    MEDS Meetings for early onset dementia sufferers and their carers

    With you in spirit Roseash. Unfortunately too far away to attend. Love the bit about not taking yourselves too seriously. I have found over the last 11 years that carers need to meet and have a giggle as often as possible.
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    just a moan, im fed up.

    Jan1962 - I think you need a big rug. No, not a rug, sorry. What I mean is you need a big bug. Hang on, nearly there. You need a big jug I give in. Perhaps I ought to go to Specsavers. Still, I am doing better than Mr. and Mrs. Romney in America. They are dyslexic and intended...
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    Instant course ... trainer to carer... any one else had post grad learning in reality

    Well put Never Give Up. Your post echoes my own feelings and experiences with Care Homes, Social Workers, peripatetic Agency Carers and the whole system in general. Duty of Care is highlighted in many Care Home Brochures and Agency Handouts and bandied about as though it was something on...
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    Diamond Jubilee

    A couple of things Saffie. Don't believe all you read in the papers and where do I apply to to get my 60p a year back so that I can donate it to a much worthier cause?
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    Diamond Jubilee

    I agree Tender Face and I do hope he recovers swiftly and is not left on a stretcher in the gangway at the hospital before someone has the time to find him a bed.
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    Diamond Jubilee

    A note of dissent. I neither saw nor heard any of the celebrations as I just thought the whole lot was a remarkably expensive PR excercise promoting something that none of us can control and therefore are completely powerless to change. Yours, in the minority, Doncaster.
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    Had similar problems with my wife except she was frightened of the bath. Could not get in it and could not get out of it. We now have a btah with a door and a raising/lowering seat. The only way I can get her in there is to spread a towel over the bath bottom, walk in with her, sit her down...
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    Dignity Toilet

    I have been in contact with 2 sets of professionals today. One is the Disability Living organisation known as SYCIL (South Yorkshire Council for Independent Living). Yes they are aware of dignity toilets, no they do not have any on display but the retailers of the ones I have looked at are to...
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    Dignity Toilet

    Thanks Skye. Have thought of that one but Jean is terrified of showers to the extent where she goes rigid and screams blue murder. Distressing for me and distressing for her. There is another downside to showering as well in that I would have to get in there with her as she has no concept...
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    Dignity Toilet

    Again many thanks Tender Face and SueJ. Actually the warm water/towel suggestion is very very close to the present procedure except substitute bowl of warm water for warm wet wipes (wet wipes which have spent 2 mins in the microwave). There are some difficulties with this however...
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    Dignity Toilet

    Thank you all for the responses. Not quite sure what a runny bum consists of Angela and, to be honest, I don't think I want to investigate that aspect too closely. Thanks Frazzled1 I will look on that website a.s.a.p. Jennifer PA I appreciate your time and effort in trying to find a...