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  1. M

    End of Life Care at Home - what are we supposed to do??

    Thanks Thanks everyone for your kind replies and words of encouragement. I deeply appreciate them!
  2. M

    End of Life Care at Home - what are we supposed to do??

    Thank you very much Celia, this does look like it will be helpful and reassuring to read. Bless you. That makes me feel less lost :)
  3. M

    End of Life Care at Home - what are we supposed to do??

    Thanks that's good to bear in mind. To be honest my husband and brother in law prefer minimal interference and it is their call so there is not much I can do unless they start to say they can't cope. I am just having trouble coping with witnessing it all and trying to support them through it...
  4. M

    End of Life Care at Home - what are we supposed to do??

    Thanks for your reply Fizzie :) Yes the palliative team from a local hospice visited when MIL came back from hospital, sorry I should have included that info in my post! They seemed kind and pretty knowledgeable. We showed them how we were giving her fluids and they said it was fine to do...
  5. M

    End of Life Care at Home - what are we supposed to do??

    Hi all, Mum In Law has been cared for at home full time for five and a half years, late stage dementia on CHC; a few weeks ago she had a massive stroke. She was completely dependent on us before, but now she is also completely non responsive. The doctors regard her as a 'goner' and will not /...
  6. M

    Can anyone give me advice about live-in care?

    Since someone mentioned them.... Just FYI we had a dreadful time with the 'Good Care Group' don't want to slag them off in public, but just to be aware to trust your instincts and hopefully you will have better luck than us! ;) I suppose the fairest summary is that mum-in-law was really...
  7. M

    How do we deal with taking a break? Do we need one?

    Hi Julia, I really feel for you. I don't have concrete solutions but I wanted to say "hi" since I am also looking after my MIL and am finding it pretty hard going at times! Our situation is different than yours, MIL is unable to walk so in a way that makes things 'easier'. She is...
  8. M

    brushing teeth

    Have you tried both doing it together? Might he be willing to mimic you? It is a very difficult problem, I agree, my MIL is not up to fighting but we have to coax her everytime. Another thing maybe worth mentioning, we had some super strong toothpaste prescribed by the community dentist...
  9. M

    Altered States of Consciousness - What are they?

    My MIL has some minor seizure type events where she passes out for up to a few minutes, throws up and empties her bowels all together. Sometimes called a vaso-vagal episode. These were included under ASC in her CHC funding.
  10. M

    Hi There

    Gosh I do know that feeling! Regularly want to disappear, but then just get on with it all again. Resolve to keep my vision down and look for the little happy things very day and not stress about when we will see the light at the end of the tunnel, just know that it will come. That's so...
  11. M

    Anxiety and dementia

    Yes it makes sense that they would frequently be found together. My MIL is on one drug for anxiety (Mirtazapine) and one for late-stage dementia (Ebixa). Has worked wonders for her.
  12. M

    when to have "the conversation"

    She is definitely too young to become a carer, but I would have thought she is almost exactly at the age when she would want to be heading out on adventures with her friends her own age rather than her granny? It is so sad, as you say, but I hope you may be able to engineer it as something that...
  13. M

    Teeth / Dental Care and accessing a Dentist

    We are in London, had some kind of community dentist service come round a couple of times, the woman was brilliant actually as we also have a very hard time trying to clean mum-in-laws teeth. I think it was a referral via the GP or possibly via district nurses, definitely not via a dentist as...
  14. M

    Hi There

    Hi Hi Lisa, I am also helping my husband and brother-in-law care for my Mother-in-law, it is a rigorous, intense journey that's for sure! I don't come on here too much, but it is heartening to connect with others in the same situation! Best Wishes, Sophie.
  15. M

    Paranoia or do LAs really try to push people into full time care to save costs?

    That is reassuring to hear. I'm glad there are at least some good places out there. I wish we all could find them! :)
  16. M

    Paranoia or do LAs really try to push people into full time care to save costs?

    I'm sorry could we revisit the original post? Do you seriously think the social worker has a more intimate knowledge of his mother's day to day life than he does? Who is defending his mother's stated interests at this meeting, when the social worker can't even be bothered to press a...
  17. M

    My mum refuses to go to gp

    Would she accept the GP visiting her? Our GP does house visits for those who are unable to get to the surgery. Maybe if you tell your Mum the GP wants to see her she might be more open to it??
  18. M

    Measuring intensity of care

    If you look up the criteria for Continuing Care Funding (widely posted elsewhere in the forum) These may help give you an idea of what qualifies as intense? NB If you are looking for case studies we may make a good one for you!
  19. M

    "My legs feel like they are filled with water and will pop"!

    Beautiful writing :) This disease is so full of sadnesses isn't it? Yet somehow we feel honoured to learn such terribly intimate knowledge about our loved ones. It is fascinating and poignant to learn how someone's brain works. I particularly loved this: That reminds me of a wonderful...
  20. M

    "My legs feel like they are filled with water and will pop"!

    Hello Mary, I love this! I definitely feel like my four years caring have been a wonderful learning experience and spiritual journey, however it can be such a weight to bear! So nice to come on here and feel the love sometimes :) Just wanted to comment, you probably know already, but in case...