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    Finding a care home that can cope with inappropriate challenging behaviour

    You may find a care home with an "EMI" or Elderly Mental Illness Unit is better. I agree, though, good to talk to the manager openly about the issues. We have been very lucky that Mummys home has a dementia wing, and they deal very well with her "ASBO" behaviour - kicking, biting, spitting etc...
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    Spending money on duplicate HiFi equipment

    I think it may be possible to get a credit card that has a limited amount on it - go over and it won't let you buy any more. Could you "lose" the current card and reinstate another card, with a low credit limit in it's place? We "lost" my Mum's car keys when she could no longer drive (Dad still...
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    Expensive Phone Bills

    I am afraid Virgin aren't all that good at customer service, broadband speed excellent but everything else, rubbish. BT offer various call blocking packages - so that you can only dial or receive calls from certain numbers. My Dad has this, but a word to the wise, set it up yourself. My Dad is...
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    Took dad to hospital. Taxi unhelpful!

    That is awful TNJJ. I feel you pain. When I was a child, sometimes in a wheelchair, Mummy would push me around near the hospital in Central London. Several times black cabs would ignore her trying to hail because they didn't want to take a wheelchair. Now they have to by law, though I think some...
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    Tablet chewing

    Pharmacists should be able to advise about different types of medication - e.g. liquid. We use covert medication administration for my Mum, in a care home. Her meds are either given in a liquid form, mixed in with juice or crushed into food.
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    Refusing to wash or change clothing

    I sometimes found, depending how active the person is, that Mummy was encouraged to have a shower by looking at shower gels with me, choosing one she fancied and then I would say, when we got home, shall we try it out? At the point before going into a CH, she was having one (reluctant) shower...
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    Mum can move to care home on next Wednesday.to

    Katrad , try to take a bit of time for yourself now. What you have done is terribly hard. I spent several days crying on and off after leaving my Mum at the care home. It gets better. We have all come to accept the situation and Mummy has formed very strong bonds with her carers. Even if now...
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    Do I tell Mum that Dad has died?

    Blueorchid, this is so very difficult. The only thing I would add to what has already been said is also, judge when you are there. You may feel, if she is having a good day, keeps asking, that you can tell her. You may also find that for whatever reason she isnt having a good day. In the early...
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    Care in nursing home or take home?

    Photographs of you all, labelled in an album? Yu can have photos put onto a fleece blanket or cushion, Mummy likes to hug the cushion with her grandchildren on. I also sent in a "talking card" (amazon or elsewhere) as Mummy doesn't really do Zoom or phone very well. You record a spoken...
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    Mum can move to care home on next Wednesday.to

    Echoing others here, though this is undoubtedly a very hard decision, it sounds as though you have reached the practical point where it is best for all. Try not to dwell on it too much. Agree with taking things in for her room in advance. Get as much set up as you can with the help of the staff...
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    Stair gates

    Sadly, with dementia there are many ingrained behaviours that I am not sure you can change. I got Mummy (late stage mixed dementia) various types of "sippy" cups, to avoid her throwing drinks on herself, the floor and care home staff. She always unscrewed any lid and used them like an ordinary...
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    Going into a Care Home

    Totally agree with all above and @northumbrian_k. Say as little as possible about what you are doing. Use routines in the home - dinner, tea time, activities, to make a quick exit when your loved one is distracted. I tried saying goodbye, and unless you have nerves of steel, I really wouldn't...
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    Care plans at care home - quick question

    Just reviewed Mummy's care plan yesterday, as part of a socially distanced visit. If the home is like Mummy's the plan may well be hard copy, in a folder, with some online files perhaps. I suspect they would need to show you the plan (as in hold up the folder) during the skype call. I agree...
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    Going into a Care Home

    You are welcome. The strength of this forum is that many of us have "been there"and hope that others can use/take comfort or accept that they are not alone, through our experiences.
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    Going into a Care Home

    It is hard, we were lucky in that Mummy (now late stage mixed dementia) was calm and able to go along with us. I know this is not the case for everyone. We had arranged, and paid for, sessions of "day care" at the chosen home for a few months. Sadly this is only possible if you pay, but it did...
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    Mum with dementia just gone into care home

    @jellybaby999 wlecome to DTP. I suggest from what you say about your mother's previous experience of respite is, when you are thinking of moving her, speak to the GP, preferably the mental health team and the home manager about this behaviour. Hopefully the GP and mental health team may be able...
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    Dementia’s journey

    @Dutchman - give yourself time to recover. I had surgery on my knees a few years ago and it is a shock to the body, quite apart from the operation site itself. You won't feel like yourself for a bit yet, quite apart from the strain you have been under. As you say, it is good that Bridget is...
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    What can keep mum occupied for short to medium periods of time?

    Hello @The Reas and welcome to TP. Sadly many people with mixed or indeed any type of dementia lose enjoyment of things they used to like. My Mum likes looking at pictures of birds, so with some misgivings we got books designed for children, with pictures of birds and simple text. I worried...
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    Is a rest home next?

    @Pusskins hygiene can be very difficult. I think you may find that carers coming into the home or those in a care home have more experience of assisting with personal care. In a care home, they can come back to a resident multiple times to persuade them and in the case of my mother, the carers...
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    Refusal of any help

    Just to echo what is said above, when we moved my Mum to a care home - she had started to wander and my Dad, her carer was severely depressed, I worried that she hadn't reached the right stage for a care home. In fact, I think she had. You try to convince yourself that you can "carry on" a bit...