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    Auntie drinking a bottle of sherry a day....

    I have been watering down my husband's wine with soda water (roughly half and half) for three or four years now. Restricts his intake and keeps him happy. Bets
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    I`m Clinging To Straws here but............

    I agree about the MMSE. It is a brief "table-top" screening test and all it tells you is how well any individual performed on that test on that occasion. Yes, the score may well show a deterioration over time but two people could both achieve the same score and manifest very different...
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    Can you sue a bank for stress?

    Hi Bernie, Forgive me, but I think an EPA (Enduring Power of Attorney) can be completed, signed and witnessed while the person still understands what that entails, and only needs to be registered when they can no longer understand and/or manage their own affairs. It doesn't lapse when that...
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    What to do for the best

    I agree that there is no right or wrong way to handle this situation. Everyone has to decide in the light of their situation and their knowledge of their relative and their relationship, etc. My husband is due to go into respite for the first time next Friday. Last week we went for the...
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    It's a tricky one...

    Hi Nutty Nan, Can you please give me more info re the key to disabled toilets? Does it fit all of them? I think we would find that very helpful. I didn't PM you re this as there may be other people who would appreciate knowing. Many thanks. Bets
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    It's a tricky one...

    Hi everyone, Thanks to all of you for your replies. I shall work my way through your suggestions and see which works! Brucie - could well be that my husband thinks the washbasin is a urinal (do they have taps? How would I know!) but he does use the loo as well, so it's not that he...
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    It's a tricky one...

    This is a bit personal, but I'm hoping someone may have an idea that would help. For the last two or three years, my husband prefers to pee in the handbasin rather than the loo. I have, reluctantly, learned to live with this but the problem is that water is taking longer and longer to drain...
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    Good news and bad news

    Thank you for the advice, Nell. Fortunately, the new carpet seems to have dried out all right. I'm still waiting to see what happens with the landing carpet which was completely sodden and not yet dry. But if it has left a stain I will certainly call in an expert. Bets
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    Good news and bad news

    The social worker came yesterday and needed absolutely no persuading to agree to my husband having respite care of ten weeks a year. I have heard that the respite home I declined two years ago is now under new management and much improved. The management have set up a carers' forum so that...
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    who can we talk to?

    Hi Lilac, I can't be of much help, I'm afraid, except to offer you my condolences at such a sad time. Losing your grandfather is bad enough, without the added worry of what will happen to your grandmother. I'm sure others on TP will be able to offer more advice. All I can suggest is...
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    worried about respite

    As I have just mentioned on another thread, I abandoned the idea of respite for my husband over two years ago for all the oft-cited reasons. I am now planning to have another go and the above replies are very reassuring and comforting to read. Thank you all. Bets
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    Respite worries

    I thought of arranging respite for my husband over two years ago. We both had Social Services assessments and were told we could have rolling respite of up to five periods of two weeks a year. I then decided I couldn't face the idea of him going into a home even for a week or two and dropped...
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    Keeping her alive ?

    I sympathise with your (and your mother's) situation, but I don't know if the doctors will agree to withdraw medication. Stopping treatment, ie drugs, is not the same as not offering treatment in the first place, e.g. not resuscitating someone who is already very ill. Also, withdrawing...
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    obsessions?

    I find my husband's obsession with me one of the hardest (there are so many!) things to deal with. When we go shopping, he is always right behind my shoulder, moves when I move, stops when I stop. In a supermarket, when a lot of to-ing and fro-ing is involved, this drives me to distraction...
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    I feel so guilty

    I agree that one day at a time is the only way. But that day becomes a week, then a month, then a year, and right now I don't know how long I can go on taking things "one day at a time". It's all very well saying "be strong" but increasingly lately all I feel is despair. I had a three day...
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    Why cant she drink?

    Hi Perfectpatience, Swallowing liquids is more difficult than swallowing solids or semi-solids, i.e. soft diet or liquified food. Best person to advice you is a speech and language therapist, who is an expert in swallowing difficulties. It may be that drinks need to be thickened slightly...
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    holiday

    Hi Alfjess, I had a wonderful time in Spain too, although the four days just flashed by. I left printed "calendars" dotted round the house so that my husband knew where I was and our son could cross off the days till my return. I switched off my mobile, but phoned morning and evening and...
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    holiday

    Hi CarolAnn, I see that the guilt monster lives in your house too! By your own account you thoroughly deserve your holiday - a week! - how I envy! Your mother is being looked after in the Care Home and a break will be so good for you and therefore for her. Go on holiday and, like I hope...
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    holiday

    I am with my husband 90% of the time, although I can still leave him for up to five or six hours on occasion so I do have a social life which gives me regular time out. I have not had a break away (for two nights!) for eighteen months but on Friday I am off to Spain for four nights. Our son...
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    My mum at 53

    Welcome to TP Natz, My husband, who was 80 yesterday, has dementia, so my situation is not the same as yours, but I just wanted to reply to your post and say that you will find a lot of advice and support here and there are people who are in a similar position to yourself who will be able to...