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  1. northumbrian_k

    Going into a Care Home

    I did not tell my wife. She had been to respite a few times with no real problems so I thought it would be fine. I drove us to the home fielding the usual questions about where we were going with stock answers such as "we are nearly there". At the home I said that I needed to see someone and...
  2. northumbrian_k

    Summer solstice musings

    This afternoon I had an appointment to see my wife for the first time since mid March. It could hardly have gone better as we had a record 45 uninterrupted minutes in the garden before she decided to go inside. We sat at opposite ends of a long table, spent some time trying to maintain social...
  3. northumbrian_k

    Is a rest home next?

    Nothing is certain but since my wife went into her care home a hygiene routine has been established which means that hair washing and having baths are no longer the battle that they used to be when she was here with me.
  4. northumbrian_k

    Summer solstice musings

    Having just spoken to the care home it may be possible for me to see my wife by pre-arranged appointment next week.
  5. northumbrian_k

    Summer solstice musings

    With my wife's care home still locked down and Stonehenge off-limits I had to make do with a bike ride in celebration of the summer solstice. From a high point I looked northwards to see the cloudy sun slowly setting on the longest day. It was clear enough to see the Simonside and more distant...
  6. northumbrian_k

    I am new to this forum. My husband has Alzheimer's and in February fractured 2 bones in his leg and ankle. He is now in a care home. I am struggling.

    Hi @Cassiecat and welcome to the forum. Many members have been in a similar position to you and you will get a lot of support here. You have said that you can't manage him on his own due to his current physical limitations. Dealing with his Alzheimer's will also have become more of a...
  7. northumbrian_k

    I fall apart

    As a student I went to a very enjoyable live concert by guitarist Rory Gallagher. My musical tastes then developed in other ways and it is only recently, 40+ years on, that I have started to listen to his music again. His song I Fall Apart is part tender and poignant love song and part full...
  8. northumbrian_k

    When to test, when to allow visiting

    Twelve weeks since lockdown began my wife's care home has finally received testing kits for residents and staff. I have just had a conversation with the home manager about whether I feel that my wife should be tested if she is not already showing signs and symptoms of Covid-19. Given the...
  9. northumbrian_k

    Alzheimers - loss of smell

    If anything Alzheimer's seemed to make my wife take notice of smells and to comment on them in an uninhibited way. If we walked past a lady who might have been a little too lavish with perfume she would say 'she stinks' in an embarrassingly loud voice. Whether a smell is pleasant or malodorous...
  10. northumbrian_k

    Not an OAP yet

    It is hard when other responsibilities prevent time for oneself, whether it is to ride a bike, read a book, or just doing nothing much. As my wife's care needs grew so I had less time to do anything but look after her. This led to 15 months of no cycling. Getting a carer in one day a week made...
  11. northumbrian_k

    Not an OAP yet

    Thanks all for your good wishes. I spoke to my wife's care home today. Everyone remains fine but they aren't risking any visitors as yet so I'll continue writing a weekly letter and delivering bars of chocolate. On such a lovely day a bike ride seemed like a good idea so I took a short but...
  12. northumbrian_k

    Not an OAP yet

    La Vuelta has been postponed until October. I was due to go cycling in Spain tomorrow and to attempt La Indomable sportive next weekend. All cancelled of course. My proposed 46 hour train ride across the USA in September is now looking like a bad idea. But cancelled holidays are nothing...
  13. northumbrian_k

    Not an OAP yet

    Lovely to see my sister by chance this morning for the first time since lockdown. She stayed in her car so that we could have a socially distanced conversation. When I got home she had put a birthday card through my door. Sixty five and not an OAP yet as my pension will not start for another 12...
  14. northumbrian_k

    Sick of being bullied by invisibles

    I used to pass the phone to my wife on the few occasions that her invisible son rang. It annoyed him but he had been so abusive to me that I had no intention of speaking to him. At first I used to prompt her but then just let her speak to him unprompted. It was not long before she would put the...
  15. northumbrian_k

    Time, what is that? I have no time to care.

    I had a good conversation with a senior carer today. The second 6 month review of my wife's time at her care home was due. I have read of others feeling unable to do this over the telephone but I was happy to as I have been in touch at least weekly with various staff members, all of whom I...
  16. northumbrian_k

    Dementia’s journey

    Hi @Dutchman Reading your earlier post I thought about answering with an offer of some plumbing advice. I would have done so if I thought that it would make you smile. When my wife was at home I was lucky to get a smile or a friendly word from her or, if I did, I was too stressed to notice...
  17. northumbrian_k

    Clapping I

    Why would you want to shame anyone? Clapping or not is a matter of personal choice. I choose not to but that does not mean I don't care. If my neighbours think bad of me that is their problem not mine.
  18. northumbrian_k

    As one DoLS closes ...

    Just took a call from the Deprivation of Liberty Safeguarding (DoLS) lady. As the DoLS granted for my wife's current accommodation was for an initial period of 12 months it is now time to renew it subject to checking with her Relevant Personal Representative. That's me, and I am happy and...
  19. northumbrian_k

    Time, what is that? I have no time to care.

    Thanks for your lovely words @Dimpsy You have made me feel happy and emotional at the same time.
  20. northumbrian_k

    Time, what is that? I have no time to care.

    It is not so easy during lockdown of course but I am in regular touch by phone and video call. I was pleased when one of the staff said that she gets a lot from my wife, even when she just sits in the office talking nonsense (my wife not the carer). It gave an insight into the caring attitude...