Search results

  1. M

    Unwanted sex

    Hello Chrystle, my OH was also diagnosed 3 years ago and have had the same problems a few times, despite him now being in care, it didn’t put him off! As suggested by AbbyGee, I quickly change the subject and distract or just say I physically can’t.
  2. M

    Mum just moved into care and hates me - am i making it worse?!

    Hello wanderer, all stages are hard to cope with but this part is so challenging. My husband went into care las July, having become very unsafe. The manager told me that it would take 6 months for us both to adjust. She also advised not to visit too often at the beginning to give him a chance...
  3. M

    Finally time to go into a care home

    Hello, I’m sorry you’re going through such a difficult time. It’s bad enough coping with everyday caring, but coping with the SS and understanding their processes takes it to another level, doesn’t it? Sounds like some unprofessional practice to cope with too. when we were in this situation...
  4. M

    First thoughts on visiting my wife in residential care

    Good morning! Great news and what a relief for you! As you say, time for some rest. At least you know he is safe and what sounds like a friendly place. It's all going to take us time to adjust. At least you know he's there. In the meantime, I still have to see how it goes and sort out the...
  5. M


    Hello Josh, My OH went into respite today for two weeks. This is the second time this year. Earlier in the year the respite was enforced because I had an op so he went in for three weeks. I am going to be honest and say it took me some months to get him back into routine but we managed. I had...
  6. M

    First thoughts on visiting my wife in residential care

    Hello to you wife not carer, I do hope the day went as best as it could for you and you had something special to do after you left the home. Today we have both been very brave. Yes, my OH went in for respite but at the moment I don't know if he will be home again. Your description of numbness...
  7. M

    Help with showering

    Hi Vic, I suppose it depends on your showering facilities . We have a double length, low level shower tray with a half screen which means that my husband can step up into the shower end to wash and I am down the dry end. We've managed to get into a routine now where I put the soap on his hand...
  8. M

    Self Doubt

    Hello @Mother of three, your story is a mirror image of ours. I care for my husband. I had surgery at the end of February and he went into respite for three weeks. He took weeks to settle back into routine and soon began showing aggression. Initially, banging doors, knocking a chair over and...
  9. M

    First thoughts on visiting my wife in residential care

    Hello @Northumbrian, thank you for sharing your current experiences. Really relevant to me as I am now considering care for my husband who has become violent in the last few months. I am finding it hard to come to terms with planning the move as I keep telling myself that I can manage but I...
  10. M

    Is this how it goes?

    Hello Scaramouche, welcome to TP. You will be able to get lots of virtual support here but just wanted to say that my husband accused me of spending his money and worries that 'they' will take his car collection. It's now all safely hidden away. We're now at the point where he sees people in...
  11. M

    Is this how it goes?

    Well, in some ways, it's rather comforting to hear that I am not the only one but huge sympathies to you for public outbursts as so far that hasn't really happened. Trouble is, this condition is hidden, isn't it? And people need educating.
  12. M

    Is this how it goes?

    I know it makes sense Hillyjay. I just hoped I would be able to carry on the caring a while longer. Of course no one's journey is the same and each individual case will need different support and in the end, care. I had a problem this afternoon which was saved by a friend in our village he...
  13. M

    Is this how it goes?

    Thank you Shedrech, ever since he was diagnosed I have gone through phases of being overwhelmed. This is one of those times. Having to make major decisions for your other half is really hard, isn't it? But at the end of the day, neither of us are safe. I've had another episode this afternoon...
  14. M

    Is this how it goes?

    Thank you so much for your reply and understanding. It seems that this is really the place to be honest and not judged in any way. Everyone seems to know and understand because we’re all going through it. I was about to begin another thread called ‘When do you know?’ Because today for the third...
  15. M

    Soaking wet duvet

    I was worried myself about this happening to us. Until January we were sharing the bed still when I decided that I should make changes whilst the sales were on and switched to two single beds with double duvets. But his soon changed to single when he had an 'wetting accident'. So using a...
  16. M

    Is this how it goes?

    Hello Hilly, Life is up and down, Hilly so don't know where to begin. But I am going to visit a home on Wednesday and have emailed three others. My hope is to find day, respite and eventual full care under one house but think that is a lot to ask. Last Wednesday, OH came food shopping with...
  17. M

    Is this how it goes?

    I am glad he was prescribed Lorazepam as it gives me another tool in the tool box. Giving just a half of one means that he is not too zonked out the next day. And thank you for your wise words regarding respite. He was in respite for three weeks whilst I had the op and settled back home but it...
  18. M

    Is this how it goes?

    Hello Hillyjay, it sounds as if I had spoken to your nurse I wouldn't have been given Lorazepam . You have to wonder about different practice and responses from agencies around the country. My OH had another blow today because I went to the GP for an appointment and left him with a good friend...
  19. M

    Is this how it goes?

    When he was diagnosed in 2017 I was told to oversee his medication, So he's used to me doing it but that doesn't stop him from getting annoyed with me! In fact, there is currently a stand off going on with himself ignoring the pills sitting beside him. It's the evening medication which is...
  20. M

    IF you can get out... does this help?

    This well meaning person might feel differently once she has been with your OH for a while. But will she have more 'wise' words to share. Until you actually go through this nightmare yourself, day in day out, do you really get how hard it is. I've read quite a few of your posts Grahamstown and...