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    Advice please

    She will probably be fine when she sees him. My mum claimed that my brother still lived with her and wasn't married and definitely didn't have any children (he has six). When four of them arrived she named them all without prompting. Even if she doesn't recognise him she will probably think that...
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    TV "playing up" again

    Unfortunately it is something that happens when the brain deteriorates. Fortunately my mum lived with us so it was possible to put on the soaps (which she couldn't follow) during the day and in the evening I sometimes just put on Dave so she could watch QI, Have I Got News for You - short...
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    Not been on here for weeks... thought I was doing OK ...but...

    Hi Maryjoan. I don't post very often now as my mum died a couple of years ago. I totally empathise which what you are going through - in our house the outgoing Christmas cards were 'posted' in the bottom of the AGA, pink flannels only in her bathroom otherwise she thought she was in a hotel and...
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    mum in denial not accepting help, beginning to dislike her

    I've not posted for ages, being now an ex carer for my mum but I do still read the posts, as I am now helping run a carers group in my local area. I didn't like my mum to begin with to be honest but who can stand back as see someone living on their own, with dementia, being scammed, not handling...
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    My OH and I have had the Care Home Conversation today

    We managed lots of respites in the care home mum went to for day care. After a (wonderful) two weeks away I turned up to collect her and bring her home. As I went in there was a quiz going on so I had to wait (!) and then mum said 'Shall we go to my room so we can talk? It's a bit noisy in...
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    How do I introduce a carer into mums life?

    Obviously it depends on the individual but we told mum about the 'new government scheme for younger people' (based on the fact that most people were younger than she was!) of giving people work experience to older people (foc) so that these younger people could study for their exams and...
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    Mother thinks I’m two people

    I had that with my mum. You will probably find that you develop another side to yourself, another skill if you like. As has been said, there is absolutely no point in arguing; you have to go with the flow. I was referred to variously as her sister, her best friend, her niece or the lady who ran...
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    A Hug

    A big hug to everyone caring for their loved ones today. This is all in the past for me and I respect and admire you for what you are doing and will continue to do.
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    Mum sleeping for many hours a day

    We had carers in on weekday mornings to get mum up and out but ,as the dementia progressed, at weekends she would spend all the time in bed asleep. After a while we didn't worry about getting her up as she would have been upset and so would I. She would happily sleep Friday evening through to...
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    how to deal with not being believed

    Unfortunately this will only get 'better' as the dementia progresses. As an ex carer for my mum, who sadly died nearly two years ago, I learned that a thick skin is the only solution. After a while of suffering what is so well described by the people above, I carried on with my life. Yes I felt...
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    Angry and insulting behaviour

    I had this with my mum and was advised not to disagree with her - logic doesn't work. She was always asking for dad (who died in the 80s) and if I kept explaining he was dead then she grieved (briefly) every time I said it. So I said he was taking the dog for a walk, had gone to ruby/cricket/the...
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    Anyone else feel ignored

    I work with a carers group and it is almost impossible to connect with working age carers or younger people who are carers except on a very superficial level. We have a good group of retirees but the pressures just of getting through a day when you are working/studying/caring/running a house...
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    Blue badge application refusal

    I managed to get a badge for mum but it was little to do with her dementia and I think, as others have said, you have to be selective in what you tell them. She walked with a frame so I told them about the distance she could walk - to the gate. I told them that due to her condition it was...
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    Hiya has anybody else been aware of all 3 siblings having vascular dementia ? Is this rare?

    Mum had two siblings, both had a form of dementia and both exhibited the same symptoms as mum did (mum was diagnosed with mixed vascular and Alzheimer's). Their mother died at about 35 years of age with heart problems and my niece was struck down with a heart attack at the age of 17 (thankfully...
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    Is this normal?

    I don't disagree at all Desperateof Devon, I too think it is a natural progression although I know many people will disagree. If she had been on her own I am sure mum would have taken to her bed and died three years before she did. Fortunately I had a GP who was realistic. The first visit, after...
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    Is this normal?

    Mum took to her bed more and more as time went on. Weekdays she had clubs and day care to go to so getting her up and washed was a challenge but during the week and eventually with the help of carers we managed OK. Weekends I initially would try to get her up by tennish but she was clearly...
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    Does everyone know what to expect?

    Hi Splashing About I didn't post very often any more as mum died in 2018 but I still read posts. I gave up work, etc etc to care for mum and I too found it all consuming. And the worst thing for me was I didn't know how long it was going to last. I found that the slow deterioration was...
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    I know what I'm doing

    Mum still had a manual typewriter so I used to handwrite letters for her to type up. She was really fast and accurate, though finding a typewriter rubber was a bit of an issue (she had forgotten about Tippex) and of course carbon paper is no longer available so I had to photocopy the letter to...
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    Will you be selling the house?

    I haven't posted for ages but still read - this site helped me so much with my mum. Slightly black humour and slightly off subject but at one point just after her death, someone asked me if I would be getting a dog...
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    Should public buildings have dementia-friendly toilets?

    Just back from a lovely wedding in Dublin so may be duplicating comments here. Our local hospital dementia ward had 'ordinary' loo rolls on holders. Nothing fancy like huge rolls on those big plastic holders and definitely not the ones where the paper is pulled out of a hole in the middle. Mum...