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  1. C

    Bare room

    I haven't, but I have taken copies of photos throughout her life and made an album which we look at together every now and then. It is almost as though looking at the photos has the same effect upon her as my being there; a sudden jolting reminder of a previous life, sparking anxiety, where...
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    Bare room

    As nitram says, nothing. My mum did the same, however over time she has been content for ornaments (hers or others that she has "borrowed" from other residents) to reappear on display, but sadly (to us) not the photos of her family. A carer suggested that keeping the framed photos hidden...
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    Harbouring guilt and not knowing what to do or where to turn...

    Welcome to TP, I am sure that you will receive more advice and support than I can offer soon, but I didn't want to just read and run. Practically, I would suggest rather than phoning your dad or uncles for updates, just phone the care home direct, they should be able to update you on her...
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    My family is going through hell

    Welcome to TP, you have certainly found the right place to ask questions and receive sensible and considered advice from sadly all too experienced members. Your description could have equally applied to how my mother was a couple of years ago, only my father was also fighting his own cancer...
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    Advice re PWD in hospital

    Re renting the house out We decided to rent my mums house out, because fortunately the rental pays a good 2/3rds of the monthly care home fees. However it is still early days for us, and I suspect that by the time I have done the annual rental account (costs re insurance, electrical and gas...
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    good bye from frederic H

    I am so sorry for your loss. Loving and supporting your wife for 53 years is a wonderful achievement. I hope that in time the memories that are at thr forefront of your mind are of a much happier pre dementia time. God bless.
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    Any advice welcome please

    Number 9, Welcome, the practical advice you have already received is spot on. I too had very private parents, hiding my mothers dementia from even their closest and oldest friends, not airing their private concerns in public. The sense of betrayal was huge every time her condition was discussed...
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    Terrible week

    Calling 999 isn't wrong or an admission of defeat. If you or your pwd are in danger it is precisely what you must do, to protect both of you from harm. It can be the catalyst for necessary additional support. Good luck.
  9. C

    Tape for Adult nappies

    I have no idea whether it will work, but the stickiest tape I have come across is "gaffer" tape (also known I think as duct tape?) it is waterproof and can be torn off the roll relatively easily (no scissors required). I'm not sure though how you might use it without your mum feeling as though...
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    I care for mum and dad both with dementia

    Dear Jaff, Such sad news. The huge sadness and loss of the last year or so must feel immense. Hold onto those happy memories, try not to dwell on the recent ones. When life has been desperate and low for me I have reminded myself that death and the great grief we experience is because we...
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    Oh brother

    Tin, I began to read your thread some months back; the title caught my eye as the sun apparently shines out of my brother too. You have been an inspiration to me and I am sure many others on TP. So this is to send you huge hugs, you sound thoroughly depressed and utterly worn down at the...
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    Waiting to hear how bad it is this time...

    Toohard, Firstly a huge hug, what you are doing is amazing. How to move on to a positive result? It's time to play hard ball. An email, crucially with all the dated photos attached, to your MP, head of SS and to your GP (or NHS Chief Exec) together with details of dates of phone calls and...
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    I care for mum and dad both with dementia

    Jaff you are such an incredible and inspirational carer. Today you gave your parents that most precious of a all gifts, time with each other. Despite the unbearable circumstances and logistical geographical nightmare of two care homes, bus rides apart, you had the strength to do it. What you...
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    Just been advised I got dementia

    Dear Jane, Welcome to Talking Point. I am hoping that a more experienced member will be able to re-post your request on the forum. I am sorry that you have had such a devastating diagnosis, with so little support offered to you from the start. On this forum you will find plenty of wise...
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    What's the best way to settle MIL into a care home?

    Hi Sharon, When my mum went into her care home I did not visit her for at least a week. Due to her extreme anxiety we had not been able to tell her that she would be going into the care home, not even for "respite". In my experience routine is very important for the pwd. Even 9 months later...
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    Finally getting some respite care. Advice please.

    I can remember feeling exactly the same anxious thoughts last summer, re my mum and going into a home (permanent not respite) As Cat64 suggests, white lies. An Oscar winning performance of big happy smiles too. I told mum we were going for coffee at a nice place where her GP (adored by mum)...
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    Supporting my Dad

    Your mum sounds so very like how mine was a couple of years ago. If you haven't already sorted Powers of Attorney now is the time. My mum thought the sun shone out of my brothers proverbial, so we utilised him; he suggested the POA, he talked her through the paperwork and got the all...
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    "Isn't it lovely?" My mum going into care

    Josephine, not for the first time do I wish that there was a "like" button for your last post! It takes a while for that feeling of "but you won't know what she wants / needs / likes" to go away, it is very similar to leaving your child at school or somewhere new. Without wishing to bring...
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    "Isn't it lovely?" My mum going into care

    Ah yes I remember that feeling, the certain pessimism, that the home will ring any minute saying "we cant cope with her, come and take her away". I think that it took me about a month to begin to relax and actually believe the staff at the home when they calmly and reassuringly said "this is...
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    CHC funding- after the panel meeting

    Is it possible to have a link posted for the video you mention dottyyd, I'm not sure where to find it, thanks.