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    Infections and Vascular Dementia

    Hello Ollybear I know the anguish that you are going through, and I only wish that there was some way to comfort you. I had to ask myself these questions when I faced the same situation. First, what would my parent want in these circumstances? The second question was if I was in that...
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    Invisible son

    Ditto, @Bel72. My dad died v recently and whilst I wish I could offload here, I know that I can't. It's sad that there are far more venal people around than I ever imagined. But there are decent ones too, like here on TP. So we make our own families from like minded individuals rather than ones...
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    To sell house or rent it out?

    Hi @Dino That's a lot to try and cope with, no wonder that you are stressed. First of all, if your mum is receiving continuing health care, then that does mean that she has health concerns over and above her dementia to qualify. Ordinarily, dementia patients don't get a look in. It does mean...
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    Appetite fell over a cliff

    Maybe a uti? Get the care home staff to do a dip test if they haven't already. Or it may just be she's feeling a bit rundown and can't explain well. It's v difficult with PWD, they generally don't have the verbal skills to tell us what is wrong.
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    Message from Jezzer

    I'm sorry Jan, about your darling mum. But try to be comforted by the thought that she is no longer suffering and is re-united with your dad. How proud both of them are of their daughter. You've done so well, no one could have done more. D xx
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    Advice please...

    Hello @Shari12 Yes, social services are beyond useless. Which is no comfort to you at all. There was a thing called the deferred payment agreeemnt which could have helped whilst the house was sold, but since you've very nearly completed the sale, it's not worth looking into now. Which again...
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    APPROACHING END WITH MUM : EVERY DAY IS DIFFERENT

    I completely and wholeheartedly endorse your views, dear @Jezzer. My poor dad, who endured a hellish time serving in the Second World War, deserves far better than what he is currently going through. All our loved ones do. And like your beloved mum, he'd be horrified by what's happening to him...
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    Advice, please, on finances

    No, the figures really don't work, but they expect the parent to pay for everything and then have the good manners to pop off to a higher plane when the improvement work is done. But they are like human ostriches, except they don't have their heads in the sand...trying to get them to face...
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    Help with understanding what I've just signed.

    I'm sorry, I don't think that there is anyway that you can get back the money that you've spent on the house. Have you contacted your mums mortgage company to explain the situation? If you haven't, you must do this immediately as non-payment of the mortgage is an additional hassle that you...
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    Advice, please, on finances

    I suspect because they want to keep as much of their inheritance as possible, in the form of the house rather than cash. They won't say that though. I agree with all the points that you've raised though, but it's falling on stony ground......
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    Advice, please, on finances

    Hello everyone I'd like your views on a problem. I know that everyone on TP will give an honest opinion. I hold joint power of attorney with my siblings for my parent. Their view is that we rent parents house, and do deferred payment arrangement with the council to cover the substantial...
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    Help with COP 24 form

    Thanks everyone for the help. I'll give it a go and see what happens. Things are never easy, are they? Even trying to protect a PWD.......
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    Care agency cancellation fees

    I got stung the same way when dad went into hospital. Which was rubbing salt into the wound. Yes, I appreciate that it's a business but when it's a hospital admission, giving notice is not really possible.
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    My dad going down hill

    Helllo @Vickymay03 I'm very sorry that you are in this situation. It's horrible for everyone. You will find lots of support and advice here on TP. The answers that you need aren't readily available, I'm afraid, even to the doctors. The term dementia covers a wide range of conditions, and some...
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    Help with COP 24 form

    Thank you both Grannie G and Canary. Just one more hurdle in trying to protect the interests of a PWD!
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    A dreadful couple of days

    I'm so sorry, Marnie. I'm glad that the end was peaceful for your darling mum. You couldn't have done any more for her than you did. You were wonderful, the way that you looked after her. She is free now.
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    Care home fees are a gamble, aren't they?

    Hi A 6% increase is a reasonable start, although some TP'ers will be able to tell you that they've had increases far in excess of that. I tend to agree with you, though, that you should make your mums life now as good as possible and as enjoyable. All that any of us can do is to make decisions...
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    Help with COP 24 form

    Has anyone filled out the COP 24 form? It's the witness statement, and the burble on the form says ' set out in numbered paragraphs indicating which of the statements are from your own knowledge and which are matters of information or belief, and the source of any matters of information or...
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    A dreadful couple of days

    I'm so sorry. You've done brilliantly, your mum couldn't have asked for better.
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    APPROACHING END WITH MUM : EVERY DAY IS DIFFERENT

    I can't believe you were put through that, @Jezzer . All credit to you for not caving in, and doing what your mum wanted. I'm fairly certain that I wouldn't have been that strong in the same circumstances, and I'm not surprised that you feel at such a low ebb after that experience. Hopefully you...