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  1. S

    Such a rapid decline

    My Mum has been in a home for many years now and it took an awful long time for me to come to terms with it. Now I know she is well cared for and in fact I have seen real affection from the staff towards Mum. They know her better than I do now or rather the person she is now ...not my lovely...
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    Feeling very low!

    Seeing relatives or friends the same age group as my Mum always tugs at my heart. Sometimes I feel angry that they can still enjoy their lives and sometimes I relish being able to talk to them and share memories of Mum. I have told daughters to cherish their mums and make the most of their time...
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    Mum's distress at being in a Home

    Having been in hospital for 5 months it must be like being freed from prison to be in her own room with all her bits and bobs around.....it all sounds wonderful and just when you relax...here comes the guilt monkey. In your head you know this is the best place for your Mum and how amazing that...
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    Patient Experience questionaire

    Thanks for the responses......I am composing my reply to the questionaire. Interestingly it names 3 individuals to respond to who all work in the Patient Experience Team. One is titled Manager. Thats 3 people who could be out and visiting my Mum and getting some real feedback!
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    Patient Experience questionaire

    For the second time this year my Mum has been sent a document to complete entitled Patient Experience Feedback form. She is in a EMI home with advanced dementia. I do understand why they send this and I am sure it has its merits but my Mum can't even open the envelope let alone actually read...
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    I am so fed up with the pathetic excuses.

    I was so angry when I posted yesterday and reading all your responses makes me feel supported and puts it in perspective. Padraig gave me a real gift..' Actions out of love brings its own reward with no tears of regret' I have had some truely special moments with my Mum over the past few years...
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    I am so fed up with the pathetic excuses.

    How many times have I got to listen to people telling me that they can't go see my Mum anymore because 'it's too upsetting for me to see her like that' Oh I am so sorry that my Mums illness is soooooo distressing for you!!!!!!! I don't suppose she's overly happy about it either but can't...
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    Entering a care home

    Label everything! even toiletries. Maybe think about a box of treasures like photos, favourite nicknaks, magazines,which you could put in top of wardrobe to keep safe and bring out when you visit to stimulate conversation. A blank book everyone who visits can write in so you know whos been...
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    Driving with Altzheimers

    I was concerned about Dad driving and we moved the car up the road so out of his eyeline. He didn't go near it for 2 months. I then worked out cost of keeping car just sitting in road and my brother went along with needing a car asap and Dad agreed to give it up.Luckily he had bus pass and was...
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    Has anyone stopped visiting?

    My Mum nearly always cries when I arrive. I think her emotions are mixed up and she cries when happy or sad. Thankfully she has never asked me to take her home.....how I would have coped with that I just don't know.It is a fact of this life that we feel guilty for visiting and then leaving them...
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    Why do we bother?

    When my Dad refused to get out of bed recently I decided to phone the memory clinic and just cancel appt. I told them he would not co-operate and that was that. Did I want to make another appt? No point said I. Within a few days the clinic doc phoned and made appt to come to see Dad at home. I...
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    this endless sadness

    Thanks for youe reply. I miss my Mum soo much. We were so close and lived in each other pockets. I know there is nothing anyone can say or do that will make it better. I know Mum would hate that she has ended up like this.I hate leaving her there but its the best place for her. I just want her back.
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    this endless sadness

    I am so tired of feeling this endless sadness over the whole situation with my Mum. She has been in CH for six+ years and it doesn't get any easier visiting her..in fact it has got progressively harder for me. She is well looked after and apart from wishing with all my heart that she didn't have...
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    EMI for Dad that's still a bit "with it"

    I had to move my Mum as the home couldn't cope with her agression. She started on a drug Memantine and has settled. The new home has much more space for her to walk and she is a constant walker so thats good. Mum is much further down the road but there are lots of other residents much worse...
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    Mirror images

    My Mum has moved to a new home and it has a very posh lift with one wall a mirror. Mum always has a lovely chat with the woman in the lift and smiles and laughs with her. She has no idea it is her relection and it lifts my spirits to see how well Mum can still use her 'polite voice' Sometimes it...
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    Any advice (personal hygiene)

    I go to see my Dad every Friday and today he really did smell and before I thought to much about it I told him straight that he smelt! He moaned but he did shower and I helped him get dry amd dressed. He told me off for bullying him but did admit he felt better for being 'nice and fresh' I think...
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    have to take mum for a blood test

    I work in a blood clinic dealing with Warfarin tests. I think advice given so far is good and definately phone and ask to speak to person in charge of the dept and explain. It is true that an anxious person is much harder to deal with and we all should be working to make the experience as good...
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    hosp discharge

    You sound shattered but are making good decisions refusing to take him home and contacting the CPN. Get those sons down asap and let them see the issues first hand. Don't hesitate because they sound quite happy to let you shoulder the whole thing and just sit back issuing orders.Perhaps they can...
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    Hi newbie here

    My Dad now has his medications made up by chemist in a tray called Nomad system. This is great for several reasons. Means you don't have to keep doing it and can use that time for other things! but it means no more repeat prescriptions as the order goes from GP to chemist automatically and you...
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    Dreading taking mum to dentist tomorrow.

    It now needs 2 of us to take Mum to the dentist but it is always an experience! Mum seems to enjoy the attention and loves the dentist chair..last time took some persuading to leave it! the dentist is ok but totally ignorant of dementia. asks whether mum could use an electric toohbrush or could...