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  1. K

    Just sad

    I think its normal to be sad this illness takes the person we love away form us in all kinds of ways. You are doing your best and to love your dad the way you described when you are feeling stressed and very sad is more than commendable. My experience of caring for my mum led me to believe that...
  2. K

    Small (but obvious) changes in hubby's behaviour

    Oh its not easy is it. I found my mum did exhibit some behaviors that were more self centered and dis-inhibited. She began not wanting to share things for example she visited my sister who is disabled, my sisters carers put a large plate of cream cakes down near her and when they came back in...
  3. K

    Sad and lost

    Thank you for all your kind words - I will take up the suggestions and advice. I have registered to become a champion and will look into the other suggestion of perhaps using my experience to help others. With love and thanks to you all. x
  4. K

    Sad and lost

    I have not posted for some time my mum died in Jan 9th and her funeral was held amidst the worst of the snow in the north west. It was beautiful and surreal and we were lucky the funeral went ahead given the conditions. I was not expecting the level of grief and loss I am feeling. It was a...
  5. K

    Urgent advice needed.

    I am with Bob get the best interest person involved and get in touch with PALS at the hospital (Patient Advice and Laison) the contact should be clearly advertised in the hopsital if not look up the hospital's web site it should be on there. Sometimes collar bones are not treated by surgery but...
  6. K

    Complaining about neglect in care home

    most local authorities have a contracts and intelligence unit - the departments tend to vary in title. If the local authority have the home on thier list or your parent recieved LA funding while in the home it is useful to complain to the Local Authority. The idea is that if people raise...
  7. K

    advice

    I am sorry you are going through this it is so hard when those we love most just don't know us and are disorientated. I think it is time you got help with both social services assesment and a older persons psychiatric consultant. I would also read some of the fact sheets re dementia I have found...
  8. K

    to buy a clock with day/date or not

    I bought a clock that anounced the day and time because mum is also blind. I also set it to announce on the hour and I think it did help keep her orientated but she is past that stage now. What I tended to do with mum is buy her things as presents and at times I used her own money as she was...
  9. K

    My mum does not know who I am

    Thank you I have had a good day and just had a bit of weep reading the posts but so greatful to you all for your kind words and birthday wishes - the second hand "happy birthday love" made me laugh! I think it is that we are caught unaware and that the birthday is so personel. I am normally so...
  10. K

    mum fretting and shouting about money

    I agree with all of the above. We found when mum wanted her card and her money and yes shouted at my sister she was treating her like a child the best thing is not to rationalise it with her. You can't reason with someone who has lost the ability to reason. Just say something like you did use...
  11. K

    My mum does not know who I am

    Thank you - it helps to know how others cope and Cynthia the flowers are lovely and have cheered me up too – thank you . I thought I would cope better with this stage than I am - it is like losing my mum but she is still there - I guess that is just the way this illness is and it is difficult...
  12. K

    My mum does not know who I am

    Just feeling down today its my birthday tomorrow and although for the last few years mum would not have remembered it once she had a gentle reminder she always wished me a happy birthday. All my life she has said happy birthday but the last few weeks she does not know I am her daughter. If I...
  13. K

    No one cares anymore!!

    I do not know what to say to you other than I am so very sorry to hear what you and the family or going through - it is just so difficult. In my experience the care that has already been given and continues to be given by family often does not seem to be recognised or computed by the powers that...
  14. K

    Choices of EMI Care Home

    I can only deeply sympathise, I was looking on Tuesday at EMI homes for my mother. The ratings were good re QCC but I could smell urine as I came to the front entrance a sure sign to me that hygiene of kind of another is not good. Both home managers talked the talk but how do know, short of...
  15. K

    What to do for the best - Help !

    I have a meeting for monday with the manager and the social worker but I have started the hunt ! and rang a few places to day - and will just do some on the hop visits. Although I can hardly face moving poor mum again neither can I face her going into a hospital or an emergency admission to an...
  16. K

    Who takes responsibility?

    I am sorry to hear about your situation it is so sad watching those we love deteriorate and it is difficult even when in easy travelling distance to get services to work in their favour so I can sympathise with the extra stress of distance. I am no expert on this but if your mum is willing to go...
  17. K

    What to do for the best - Help !

    Ok thats a good help I will start the hunt and you give me hope that there may be something suitable out there! As mum has recovered physically from the stroke I think I will start with EMI and then just incase she does have another incident and requires nursing I will look there next. At least...
  18. K

    What to do for the best - Help !

    Thank you for your honesty and information. I want to sort out a fall back position if I can but I don't understand if there is a difference between a nursing home which will take a person with dementia and and an EMI unit? Are there seperate criteria?
  19. K

    What to do for the best - Help !

    My sister and I moved mum to a small dementia unit consisting of 8 residents. It has 2 day staff and one night staff. However, when we made the decision (a decision which mum also took part in) we were given assurances that should mum deteriorate this would be her home for life and she could...
  20. K

    Mum is looking for her little girls -

    this helps Thank you this helps and it reassures me that I am doing the right thing by keeping on visiting. Mum is very anxious and all the time asking where she is. Is accepted practice to leave her in this constant state of anxiety? The staff are very kind and reassure her but as quick as...