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  1. ladysuisei

    Coughing after drinking in last/severe stage vascular Dementia

    Thank you for your kind words- I live in hope that the doctor reacts to the SALT report.....it seems odd that they wouldn’t follow up a risky situation once it’s brought to their attention. I had a long chat with my son and his wife on the phone last night. I told dan that I’m at the end of my...
  2. ladysuisei

    Oh Dear I give up with the Invisible BIL

    Blimey- things like this must make a dreadful situation much worse. I’m not surprised you are angry.
  3. ladysuisei

    Coughing after drinking in last/severe stage vascular Dementia

    Haha that really cheered me up!!! Actually I feel slightly more positive today- not because anything has changed but because I’m not letting this all get me down any more. I can’t do any more worrying! I do hope your SIL enjoys her “ gifts “ hee hee xx
  4. ladysuisei

    Coughing after drinking in last/severe stage vascular Dementia

    Thank you. I am very disapointed that the doctor has been in possession of the SALT report for quite a few days but not even made contact. I am making the decision to postpone a holiday which we booked quite a while ago, so instead of going in May we can go in September. It just feels as if...
  5. ladysuisei

    Coughing after drinking in last/severe stage vascular Dementia

    Thank you for your frank reply. I do believe that my father is not being rational- I can only guess this is because of this awful situation. I have suspected that his mental health is not right. Oh god- I did suspect that aspiration is painful we have a care package in place thanks. In your...
  6. ladysuisei

    Sudden turn for worst...is this it?

    My mother was diagnosed over 13 years ago. The progression to late stage was swift- within 3 years bedbound. So we have been battling these types of scenarios for around 9 years ( maybe 7 for actual late stage? ) I cannot see how my mother carries on. She has complex physical illnesses possibly...
  7. ladysuisei

    Coughing after drinking in last/severe stage vascular Dementia

    Thank you for your reply. We do have a holiday planned for May. Last year we didn’t go at all. The denial is making an already difficult situation impossible. Now we’ve had the response from the SALT team , I’m hoping the doctor will follow the recommendations. The way I see this is that because...
  8. ladysuisei

    Coughing after drinking in last/severe stage vascular Dementia

    Hi there thanks for your reply. It’s totally impossible for me and my sister to leave my dad in the lurch with mum’s care. He only gets respite from this horror when we go over 3 or 4 times a week so he can go out. I feel desperate actually, because now we’ve received the copy of the “...
  9. ladysuisei

    Coughing after drinking in last/severe stage vascular Dementia

    Well, sorry I’m repeating myself here ( !!!! ) we had the assessment. The woman had no background information, so was totally useless. I feel so mentally low. She said she would tell the gp there’s a significant risk of aspiration, but didn’t say anything about a follow up? These people are...
  10. ladysuisei

    Coughing after drinking in last/severe stage vascular Dementia

    Actually they said swallowing is “ extremely risky “ and that’s that. Apparently we will get a report. In the meantime, life goes on as usual. This is horrible.
  11. ladysuisei

    So is this it...?

    Hi there- well the SALT visit was frustrating to say the least. She said that swallowing poses “ significant risk “ and she will send a report to the gp. I feel at breaking point now. In addition to my father being in denial, I feel that I’m holding an unexploded granade with this significant...
  12. ladysuisei

    So is this it...?

    Well , considering how selfless you have been to date, I think a bit of selfishness would be perfectly okay for 2020. Haha, as I write this I realise that neither of us will give up on our parents, as we would have done so a long time ago. I hope things are feeling slightly better for you- I...
  13. ladysuisei

    So is this it...?

    Thank you- at the present time, I do feel extremely low . My CPN keeps reminding me she can’t change things!! I have to laugh because she’s the professional apparently looking after my mental well-being. If it wasn’t so awful I may be tempted to laugh ( possibly with a tinge of hysteria thrown...
  14. ladysuisei

    So is this it...?

    Hi there- yes the last say 10 years have just flown by in a haze of awfulness. Crisis after crisis.... in the past I managed my feelings with drinking to excess, but in March 2018 I quit, realising that I was doing myself a lot of harm as well as not solving anything at all . It’s dreadful isn’t...
  15. ladysuisei

    Coughing after drinking in last/severe stage vascular Dementia

    I can totally relate with what you say. My mother was diagnosed 13 years ago and deteriorated extremely fast. We’ve been in stage 6 for at least 8 years. We’ve been in last “ active dying “ stage about 9 months. It was the gp who used the term “ actively dying “ but I believe that my father (...
  16. ladysuisei

    Coughing after drinking in last/severe stage vascular Dementia

    Hello there- my mother is sadly at the last stage. She was diagnosed 13 years ago, and has been cared for at home. It is terrifying every time we attempt to give any food or particularly drink. It results in obvious distress for my mum, who is already heavily sedated and never fully awake any...
  17. ladysuisei

    So is this it...?

    Hi there my lovely. My mother is at the same stage as your poor father. My situation is rather different, as mum is at home ( care packages etc ok) my father is her carer. Me and my sister support too. My problem is that my father is in denial as to how serious this is. He is not being...
  18. ladysuisei

    So is this it...?