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  1. M

    How many people are using or have used live in care for your relative?

    my mother has live-in care My mother has had live-in care since February as she was losing so many things, becoming afraid, forgetting to eat properly etc. She was reluctant at first and we started with day carers but that wasn't successful as there were so many different people at different...
  2. M

    Less socially acceptable feelings following loss

    I think it is very brave of you to be honest and recognise what you have been through and the resentment it can bring (my mother has dementia and I feel extremely resentful a lot of the time but we often feel guilty saying these things!). It obviously isn't how you would have chosen to spend the...
  3. M

    Need to vent!

    Totally sympathise! We have gone through similar things with my mum, mostly to do with the TV and remote controls. However, it doesn't sound as if your mum needs to go into a care home at present if she can still cook, dress herself etc. although there is obviously a safety issue. I think the...
  4. M

    Concerned for mums safety as she has started going out alone

    It is such a worry isn't it? My mum started wandering a few months ago. Not far but enough to make me concerned about her safety. We ended up getting her a live-in carer with me visiting 3 times a week and my brother when he can. It might be worth you starting to make plans for some sort of...
  5. M

    I've got 2 weeks to find live in care for my dad or court of protection gets involved

    What an incredibly stressful time you are having. For what it's worth, I have just started using live-in care for my mother. She did have carers going in to make her lunch each day. She is a very private person and she didn't like this at all (this situation started in January) and it was...
  6. M

    had weeks respite but things are now worse

    I have every sympathy with you. My MIL had to go through the same with her husband. You have to remember that many of the distressing things they say aren't really them talking, it's the dementia. Easier said than done I know - my mum says all sorts of things that make me and my brother feel...
  7. M

    Advice needed re care package for Mum

    So pleased it has worked out for you and your mum after what sounds a nightmare situation. Like you, I live about 25 miles away from my mum who has been managing at home and refusing care until very recently when I insisted on carers to make her lunch on the days I can't visit. And like your...
  8. M

    Mum terrified of the dark

    I am using an agency - extremely expensive but my mum has some savings. My plan (if it's possible to plan in these circumstances) is for her to have a live-in carer until funds run out and then a care home :( I hope by that stage she won't really know me or what's going on. The live-in carer...
  9. M

    Mum terrified of the dark

    That sounds very good advice. Unfortunately I live too far away and have a family/job. Tbh, mum should have had care before now but she has been so resistant to any form of help. She complains about the lunch-time carers and I had to cancel the ones that used to come at tea time because she...
  10. M

    drugs for obsessive behaviour advise please

    Good point about UTI. My mum started behaving very strangely (even more than usual) about two weeks ago and I phoned the Admiral Nurses helpline for advice. The nurse mentioned that UTI can make people with dementia have more extreme behaviour than usual. This is also the case with dehydration...
  11. M

    How often do you visit?

    There is so much guilt attached to this isn't there?! I am currently feeling very resentful at how often I am visiting my mum - 5 times last week and the week before. She is still just about managing at her home (with my help) but I am looking to get live in care because it is currently...
  12. M

    Mum terrified of the dark

    Thanks for the suggestion of having an optician come to the house. I will try that. Yes, the live-in care option is hugely expensive. Mum has some savings and some equity in the house but she will have to go into a care home at some point. I am hoping she/we can afford live-in care until she no...
  13. M

    Mum terrified of the dark

    Thanks Thanks to everyone who responded. Just knowing there are people going through similar things is a comfort. My mum is actually terrified of the dark before she even goes to bed. She has a night light. This started a few weeks ago. In fact she has gone downhill so much that we are looking...
  14. M

    Driving with altzheimers

    how is her driving? My mum was never the best of drivers and continued to drive very short distances when she had mild dementia. She then would just go to the supermarket on a Sunday morning and park in the car park before the store opened. Fortunately, one day when the car was parked...
  15. M

    Mum terrified of the dark

    My mum has dementia and has recently become terrified of the dark. Has anyone else experienced this? I think her sleeping pattern has suddenly become confused. She's going to bed to early and possibly waking up in the early hours. I am in the process of organising live-in care for her but I'm...
  16. M

    At my wits end.

    my heart goes out to you! Hi Swoozy Dementia has to be one of the most cruel diseases around. There is so much guilt too, especially when it involves our parents. I agree with many of the others. You really do have to think about your marriage, your 17 year old (who may well be off soon...