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    Absolutely worn out .... Mum in care home

    It might be worth visiting during a mealtime to see for yourself what the food and portions are like. Some carehomes will provide meals for visitors which of course you pay for. Just a thought.
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    Carer's Assessment

    I know that but was just flagging it up for those who are not aware of it!
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    Carer's Assessment

    I get the impression that some are confusing the assessment of the PWD with that of the carer(s)! As I understand it the PWD is assessed financially with regard to the care that he/she requires or needs. But the carer(s) is assessed only by need for respite provision. We get 3 hours a week...
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    Toothbrushing - initial success!

    I'll definitely be singing his praises!
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    Toothbrushing - initial success!

    Some of you may remember that my M-in-L takes 25 minutes to brush her teeth at night. Well, I had a chat with her dentist this morning and then took her to him for a check up this afternoon, with great difficulty I might add. He was an absolute star! He told her that she only needs to brush...
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    So stressed with worry

    Perhaps it would be easier and more kind to transfer most of your father's money to a new account; that way you won't need to change his card. Just leave a workaday amount in the existing one. I hope that you can manage to thwart your niece's schemes.
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    obssesive behaviour

    My M-in-L 'makes things safe'; mostly the toilet - don't ask! Spends anything from half an hour to 4 or 5 hours doing it! Middle of the day, middle of the night, anytime in fact. We tend to leave her to it. But we still find it weird and a bit unnerving. Good thing that we've got more than one...
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    It won't be easy to do but if she threatens you physically you are within your rights to call the police and they will have to make a referral to Social Services. A round the back way of getting this problem recognised!
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    Local Adult Services

    We have no experience of a Care Assessment because my M-in-L is self funding but we have had a Carer's Assessment; this entitles us to three hours a week respite and cover when we, the carers, have medical appointments. You need looking after too!
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    Financial assessment for caring for wife at home.

    Have you applied for Council Tax reduction too?
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    I feel so helpless

    Oh my, you all sound amazing, if in some real need yourselves! I agree that your son already is a carer and there are Young Carer groups out there. I don't know which area you are in but I would ring Social Services to ask what's available. I hope that you manage to get the help you all need...
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    sitting service

    Following our Carer's Assessment we get 3 hours a week respite. The carer who comes even does a bit of ironing for me! Apparently we could save up the hours and take a whole day if we choose. The scheme also covers care for when one of us, the carers, have medical appointments.
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    Posting & responding.

    Well, I didn't expect such a big response! No, I'm not confused - at least I think not...... As I recall, on both occasions this has happened I've responded to a specific comment rather than posting a 'comment' but I really don't think that it was added to someone else's post. I'll try to...
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    Posting & responding.

    Can anyone tell me please why I sometimes get a window when I try to submit a reply or post which says that it's too short and to increase by 1 character? I add, pointlessly, but still the same message comes up. Thanks.
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    Thinking of bed downstairs but we have no toilet

    What about a stairlift? Ours is rented and invaluable. It's not cheap mind but once it's removed there's very little evidence of it having been there.
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    Do we do enough for mum??

    Saskia, I can't add anything to what has already been said but I really want to thank you for your post because the answers you have received have done my heart and my conscience good! Until reading those replies I have felt a complete failure as a carer of a PWD, my M-in-L. She lives with us...
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    Need mums isa details

    Some banks are more clued up than others when it comes to registering your POA with them but once that's done you will be entitled to access your mother's affairs.
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    Just offloading

    It's just like a nightmare you never have the happy relief of waking up from isn't it? My big irritation point at the moment is M-in-L sitting on the couch by me and sounding like she's crunching Polos; even the TV up loud doesn't blot it out! Stupid thing but SO irritating. I've told my...
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    'C' bomb dropped on mum....

    The car's presence on the drive is surely going to be a constant reminder of her deprivation so probably the sooner it disappears the better. I agree, get your brother or someone to take it away. Hopefully your mother's anger will burn itself out in time.