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  1. M

    Christmas present ideas?

    Last year I bought my mum a memory blanket. I can't remember (ironic) the company but if you Google it companies will come up. You basically upload photos and they print them onto a fleece blanket. I did all old photos. This year my mum has gone downhill loads. I've bought her a pot of indoor...
  2. M

    Nightmare

    Hi Turner87 - I've just seen your other post. The reason the SS will be applying for CoP for finances will be because of the Safeguarding issue and to protect him from his niece. Once an application has been put in, interested parties have to, by law, be notified. So you will be informed...
  3. M

    Court of protection?

    Did your dad, when he had more understanding of things, want you and your son to be POA? If he did then you need to try to keep to his wishes. But if someone independant is put in place, they will be appointed by the Court and will have to do things in his best interests - so in that respect you...
  4. M

    How To Talk To Care Home

    Thank you all for your replies - I really appreciate it and the helpful advice. I'm going to ring the Care Home tomorrow and ask for a short meeting with the manager. I have got copies of the Care Plan but it doesn't show the day to day detail. I do think that the lack of communication isn't...
  5. M

    How To Talk To Care Home

    Hi My mum’s been in a Care Home for the last year due to her Dementia. I’m down as Next of Kin etc and I am very happy with how she is being looked after. However, last week I got a copy of the DOL’s Report and in this were several things that I wasn’t aware of. These include that she’d had a...
  6. M

    Objection to COP - Back to square one?

    To be honest, i wish she had been the deputy when all the stuff before happened. at least then she would be held to account. as it stands she hsasn't been and is still trying to get hold of my mum's money :-(
  7. M

    Objection to COP - Back to square one?

    I have had an email this afternoon from COP stating that my mum's case has been referred to a local office :-( To cut a long story short, back in Sep / October last year I found out that large amounts of money had been "disappearing" from my mum's bank account. These had usually been withdrawn...
  8. M

    At the end of our journey

    I think that sound is quite common. My dad didn't have it but I have known others who are pretty close to the end who have. I think there is a very big difference between palliative care staff and "normal" nursing care staff. Perhaps it's to do with specialisms or that the everyday staff have to...
  9. M

    New member - seeking advice re: appointee and bank account access

    Hi Sue6899 Welcome - but sorry that you (and any of us) have to be here. The advice you have been given is correct. If I were you, treat it that any benefits going into his account are at zero. Contact DWP asap. To become an Appointee is amazingly easy - especially compared to applying to...
  10. M

    Day Centre - How to get my OH to go

    Hi Herewego It sounds like you have a very challenging situation and one you really do need to be giving yourself regular breaks from. The thing is, we often don't realise how much these things are taking a toll on us when we are in them. We just keep on keeping on. It does sound like a good...
  11. M

    At the end of our journey

    Hi Susyg I'm so sorry you have to go through this sort of ending. I totally agree with all you have written. I went through a horrendous ending with my father. Looking back, I don't think things were explained to us properly and he wasn't given all he could have been to make things more...
  12. M

    Am I A Bad Person?

    Thank you all for your kind and heartfelt replies. I have cried this afternoon at your kind responses. I'm sorry though to hear of all your struggles. DeMartin I especially identify with you and wish I could do something to reach out and lift some of the anguish from you.
  13. M

    Am I A Bad Person?

    Am I the only one that dreads visiting their PWD in the Care Home? When I get there my mum is so pleased to see me - but I know she doesn't remember my visits after I've gone. After about 30 minutes we have run out of conversation and she makes it clear that my time is up. Sometimes I take...
  14. M

    POA : Opening Bank Accounts etc

    Can I ask, did you go and see a Financial Advisor or just work out what was best to do yourself? I've looked on things like Money Saving Expert etc. I don't feel comfortable investing it in anything that involves any kind of risk - just in case the risk goes the wrong way.
  15. M

    POA : Opening Bank Accounts etc

    Thanks Nitram That's really helpful :-)
  16. M

    POA : Opening Bank Accounts etc

    Hi All I have Deputyship for Property & Affairs for my mum. Her house is on the verge of selling and, having looked on various websites, it seems advised to split the lump sum between different accounts and things like Premium Bonds so she can earn something. I'm not really wanting to go down...
  17. M

    Money (lack of it) but can't cope with another fight

    I rang the LA but they shut at 3pm on a Friday! Yes, if they hadn't taken so long to sort all this out then it would have been much more manageable for me. I've also spoken to a good friend and I when I ring them on Monday I am going to give permission for them to speak to her on my behalf. That...
  18. M

    Care Agency Invoice - thoughts please

    Hi Maryjoan you have every reason to be upset. Coping with a PWD is bad enough - the last thing you need is to be having to battle with things like this :-( I'm sorry that you have had this added stress. If you are unhappy generally with the agency I think you have a right to ask for a change...
  19. M

    Money (lack of it) but can't cope with another fight

    Nitram, I have honestly done it all. Been to solicitors. Involved local MP and everything. Sister kept my mum away from the Dr's so there was nothing on the notes until I got involved and by then her Mental Capacity was something like 3 or 4 out of 20. SS's argument is that she may have, in the...
  20. M

    Filling in the COP forms

    Good luck with the forms and trying to get CoP to do anything urgently :-( Hopefully the Care Home she is in are understanding. I did mark mine as Urgent (I needed an answer in 6 weeks) but it took 3 months. I THINK there is something you can tick that makes is more than urgent - but I think...