Wet and wetter

[carer21]

Having 'compliance' issues with mother, 90, using most absorbent pull-ups manage a wash and change once a day if lucky. Last change yesterday morning. Lives with us so offer of help available but have found best to wait for request as suggestion leads to defiance and denial. Problem is how long is too long! Today is absolutely point blank not accepting help. Absolutely sodden and stinky but in complete denial. Have managed to change chair pads early today but no go with pants! now just sitting using her nightie as absorbent now, along with the dog who is sitting on her lap! Any ideas please?

 

[caring a]

hi carer,
how sorry you are having such problems,,
as regards advise i sadly am far from qualified as a medical person would be,,however having cared for my mum who has az for over 1 yr solid i feel i can try give you my observations at least,,
the denial is very common,indeed yet mum would say to any1 she was fine and is clearly in later stages,perhaps yu need to be a little crafty,as been left in wet underwear est and as you say stinky,,can quivckly lead to uti,
im sure you mum will not want help,,very few do,but now with mum i just arange gp/social wortker est and they turn up,,i tell her just a rutine visit,,,,
maybe might help,,,but imho i think you really need sort some help if you carnt get her changed est,,
i hope might have helped a little,,nothing is esy,,
good luck x

 

[carer21]

Hi carer
Thanks for your reply, empathy and insight. Such a dreadful way to be when such an independent lady lost all inhibitions and sense of dignity......

 

[halojones]

Hello care21

What a difficult problem, and as you say, how sad for your mum to lose her dignity..I can just suggest that maybe you could go to the bathroom together and say to mum that you both need to change your nick nicks, and if mum sees you getting changed,she may agree,and you can offer the flannel/wipes for a quick wash?..I find that encouraging mum to do something together makes a big difference and also copying your own behaviour really helps...I apologise if this is not the best advice,its hard to know as all our people and circumstances are different...i hope you find a solution..x