Can anyone give me advice on toileting matters please

2197alexandra

Registered User
Oct 28, 2013
355
0
Sileby
Dad is doubly incontinent up until two month ago we used pull up provided by nhs. Then dad started getting moisture lesions cause he wad wet all the time. Do the district nurse suggested using a conveen. Wow what a difference it had made to both dad's life and mine. He's dry all the time now. I just change the conveen every Othery day and the bag I just empty into s jug as it fills. Dry through the night so no wet sheets in the morning. Du through the day so no several changes of clothes or pj's. And when dad sleeps for his days in end it makes life so much easier.

Still have to deal with the other side of things. I wish I could get the right dosage of laxido cause it either doesn't come at all or it explodes everywhere. Gone onto pads with net pants now also add they are easier to whip out and change without getting undress.

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Jax55

Registered User
May 29, 2014
10
0
Toileting problems

Hi there,

Mum was diagnosed with vascular dementia last year but on top of that back in 2009 she was rushed into hospital with a twisted intestine, 90% of her small intestine was removed.
It took her several months for her body to stabilise and for mum to experiment with what food she could eat without it going straight through, she's also vegetarian. Anyway she finally managed and learnt to cope with the situation, her diet and by wearing incontinence pads.
Now she can't cope. She seems unaware, particularly in the evenings, that she needs to to the loo and when the message does get through to her it is generally too late. Since the operation her bowels are regulated with immodium syrup and coedeine tablets as an extra belt and braces when all else fails.
Over the last year the bowel situation has become a nightmare and even though I am presently living with her, I can't be vigilant 24/7, in the best of the will of the world I'm only one person and need to sleep too. Night times have become dire, I never know what I'm going to wake up.
A couple of weeks back I asked the district nurse for a commode to set up in the bedroom. I put down some vinyl and set the commode next to mum's bed every night. At first she seemed to be managing then one night she tried to empty the commode bucket when she was obviously non compus mentus, she must have spilt it. I found poo all over the bedroom carpet and she had used some of her clothing to wipe out the bucket too. The bathroom was a mess too.
I am persisting with the commode and to a certain degree it is successful as long as she doesn't try to empty it. This morning I found the contents in the kitchen pedal bin. I'm going to have to buy a lidded bucket to put in the kitchen cupboard at nights and hide the pedal bin.
The houses smells and I'm concerned that there is poo in places where there shouldn't be. I try to get on top of it but then it happens all over.

Dementia is the cruellest of illnesses, not only does it rob the person of their identity but it also robs them of their dignity too.

My thoughts go out to you all and it heartens me and saddens me to read that I'm not alone with all the different problems this hateful illness throws up.
I wonder how David Cameron would cope clearing up his parent's poo :(
Take care, Jacqui
 

stanleypj

Registered User
Dec 8, 2011
10,712
0
North West
This is awful Jacqui. You thought you'd found a solution and then it turns out that your mum sabotages it (not deliberately, of course).

Another possible solution is this:

http://www.gooutdoors.co.uk/thetford-porta-potti-qube-165-p195510

It's designed for camping. I bought one when my wife was having problems with the stairs (no downstairs loo) and, at that time, double incontinence.

It would be very difficult for your mum to empty it.

I'm assuming that you are not sleeping in the same room. If you were, although this would probably interfere with your sleep even more, you would be more aware of what was happening and able to intervene.

I wake up somewhere around 5 a.m. every day to take my wife to the loo. It disrupts my sleep but if I didn't do it the maxi pad would probably start to leak by normal waking-up time.

There are rarely any easy answers.:(
 

Morninglark

Registered User
Jun 23, 2011
47
0
Holywood, Co Down
Cranberry juice

Cranberry juice may be more acceptable than water, and may help with UTIs. I put it in a plastic drinking cup with a built in straw (got in £1 shops). Its 'his' and he likes using it. I can't believe people still have carpet in their bathrooms!!! Thank God for disposable padded knickers!

Hello and thank you for your ideas. My bathroom floor is tiled it is when she walks in it and it is on her slippers that she walks it into the lounge from the hall, however from what you have said I am not alone with this problem and will have to follow her into the loo when I see her going there as you have said there are no short cuts.Mum seems to get water infections a lot which add to the problem as she gets confused, I know she doesn't drink enough but it is hard to get her to drink more we are forever saying have a drink mum.:)
 

Morninglark

Registered User
Jun 23, 2011
47
0
Holywood, Co Down
My husband has Alzheimers and would now wet the bed every night. A doctor friend suggested Conveen sheaths attached to a bag which we empty in the morning. This works well when it works, though sometimes it becomes detached in the night. Unfortunately the care staff who come to help him to bed are not always (rarely!) familiar with such, and I still have to supervise it. But as we usually sleep in the same bed, it is a life saver for me! Padded disposable pants are also a boon during the day, though we still have accidents as he refuses to remove the conveen and it sometimes protrudes from the padded pants and the trousers get wet. Fortunately we now have solar panels which means washing in the daytime is more or less free!!
 

Miss Polly

Registered User
Feb 12, 2014
66
0
Someone, can't remember who, suggested to me that I ask at the doctors surgery about seeing an incontinence nurse. I did so and was told that yes, I could get incontinence pants etc. from the NHS. I have been given an appointment in January (I first asked on 9th September!!!) to go to the bowel and bladder something or other at the local hospital. There is a detailed questionnaire regarding how much Mum drinks and how often she goes to the loo etc. They have said there will probably be a physical examination. She will be 88 by then. I don't want her to have a physical examination. It's not a physical problem, it's a mental one - the dementia. I thought it would just be a case of the nurse coming to see us and telling us what items we could get to make life easier. Has anyone else experienced this? What should I do?
 

stanleypj

Registered User
Dec 8, 2011
10,712
0
North West
Probably the reference to a physical examination is just something they include because they see people of all ages for all sorts of problems. It may not be anything intrusive anyway. I would hope that if you explain your mum's condition they will understand.

She is entitled to incontinence aids though what is available seems to vary from one council to another. I found the detailed questionnaire very difficult to complete in the circumstances. I told the district nurse who said to give it to her and she'd make it up!
 

Acco

Registered User
Oct 3, 2011
228
0
Hello, I requested access to the incontinence nurse through our GP and whilst 3mnths before she came she organised a regular supply of NHS pants. No need for any examination or other form filling; as you say, it is not physical but part of the illness which the medical profession should know. Sorry to hear of your difficulty but hope it is resolved soon in the interests of both mum and yourself. Perhaps raising the matter again through your GP might help although sometimes it is down to the local health authority as to how they deal with each situation. It may be called National Health, but it is actually Local Health as thry afopt their own policy's. My best wishes.
 

Miss Polly

Registered User
Feb 12, 2014
66
0
Hello, I requested access to the incontinence nurse through our GP and whilst 3mnths before she came she organised a regular supply of NHS pants. No need for any examination or other form filling; as you say, it is not physical but part of the illness which the medical profession should know. Sorry to hear of your difficulty but hope it is resolved soon in the interests of both mum and yourself. Perhaps raising the matter again through your GP might help although sometimes it is down to the local health authority as to how they deal with each situation. It may be called National Health, but it is actually Local Health as thry afopt their own policy's. My best wishes.

Thank you. I think I will talk to the GP and also ring the incontinence nurse.
 

Miss Polly

Registered User
Feb 12, 2014
66
0
Hello, I requested access to the incontinence nurse through our GP and whilst 3mnths before she came she organised a regular supply of NHS pants. No need for any examination or other form filling; as you say, it is not physical but part of the illness which the medical profession should know. Sorry to hear of your difficulty but hope it is resolved soon in the interests of both mum and yourself. Perhaps raising the matter again through your GP might help although sometimes it is down to the local health authority as to how they deal with each situation. It may be called National Health, but it is actually Local Health as thry afopt their own policy's. My best wishes.

Thank you. I shall ring the nurse asap.
 

Miss Polly

Registered User
Feb 12, 2014
66
0
I have been reading the comments regarding toilet issues. Mine is slightly different with Dad, he is wetting himself whilst out, despite having incontinence briefs on, he still has the odd time when he does not get to the toilet in time. Any suggestions please?

Also, despite washing his pants, trousers well, they still have a smell to them and I find it embarrassing when taking him out. I know I should not but what with the wetting and smell I think people must think I am not looking after him properly.

I soak my Mum's wet clothes in Napisan before washing. £3.80 for a box from most supermarkets - in the baby aisle. It seems to do the trick. Good luck.
 

Jax55

Registered User
May 29, 2014
10
0
Lovely story thank you for sharing :)

I had this problem with my husband who has Alzheimer's. He is 82 years old.

We had our 25th wedding anniversary recently. I told him the day before but of course it went right over his head.

When speaking on the phone to my son I mentioned it had been our 25th wedding anniversary the previous day.

'What did he give you for a present?'

I said 'a heap of s**t on the bathroom floor.'

'And you thought he didn't care' said my son. Hahahahaha!

Hope this doesn't offend anyone.

Michael is now in a lovely Secure Nursing Unit but I don't think he will make it to the end of October. This is the fourth week he has refused all food and drink. He still recognises me though and his face lights up when he sees me. So sad but also lovely to see that smile on his face.

Alzheimer's is certainly the long goodbye.
 

Jax55

Registered User
May 29, 2014
10
0
You've got it in one about the sabotage. It's like trying to second guess a young child with safeguarding issues.
Brilliant idea re the porta potty, I have one at home.
No I don't sleep in the same room as mum, it would drive me completely bonkers!!!

Thank you :)

This is awful Jacqui. You thought you'd found a solution and then it turns out that your mum sabotages it (not deliberately, of course).

Another possible solution is this:


It's designed for camping. I bought one when my wife was having problems with the stairs (no downstairs loo) and, at that time, double incontinence.

It would be very difficult for your mum to empty it.

I'm assuming that you are not sleeping in the same room. If you were, although this would probably interfere with your sleep even more, you would be more aware of what was happening and able to intervene.

I wake up somewhere around 5 a.m. every day to take my wife to the loo. It disrupts my sleep but if I didn't do it the maxi pad would probably start to leak by normal waking-up time.

There are rarely any easy answers.:(
 

Jax55

Registered User
May 29, 2014
10
0
I have the smell of poo under my nose every day ...

I could scream I'm finding this situation with mum and her bowels extremely difficult. It doesn't help that in the middle of the night she raids the fridge and overloads her already struggling bowel, despite the fact that I always leave her a bedtime snack.
I just wish she could go to bed go to sleep and stay there till morning. I'm feeling ragged.
Sorry but after 2 years of living with and caring for my mum I am reaching the point of meltdown.
 

Shedrech

Registered User
Dec 15, 2012
12,649
0
UK
What type/make of vinyl flooring does anyone recommend?

Dad has just recently started with problems in the night - not getting to the loo on time so puddles and patches on the bedroom carpet: probably because he is not well.
I like the idea of vinyl flooring but can anyone give me an idea of what has worked for them?
Is it really not slip?
I don't like cleaning up in the morning but the thought of him slipping concerns me.
Many Thanks
 

twinklestar

Registered User
Sep 14, 2014
84
0
Toileting issues - I know how you feel

My mum at 93 often has problems when she is in the toilet as she wets the floor or a faeces is stood in and then trampled all over our flat. It is not all the time and she does wear incontinence knickers in case she doesn't get there in time. She doesn't seem to know that she has done it I just walk into it when I have to go, I can't follow her to the toilet all the time.:

With hindsight I noticed mum had a toileting issue prior to diagnosis. When she went to the toilet there would be urine splashed all over the seat. It is my view that she was not sitting on the seat but squatting and it splashed everywhere. I just got into the habit of checking the seat before I used it myself and wiping it up.

Mum had a a tummy bug not long ago and that was a joy! Luckily, the Community Matron arrived that morning and helped me. She sorted mum out while I changed the bed. Needless to say I got adept doing both myself that week with the help of the carers. We used incontinence pants but I was keen that mum did not become too reliant on them and we got through it.

Recently we had a couple of episodes of urine on the floor so we got a commode as we thought if mum wanted the toilet in the night we would put it in her room and then take it downstairs for during the day. Do you know what - no incidents since then. However, I know mum will need to commode sooner rather than later.

Mum stains her knickers with both urine and faeces. Some days are worse than others. The carers and I have a rule - the one item of clothing that is changed everyday is knickers. You know how sometimes they do not want to change their clothes. I make sure she plenty of good cotton knickers. When she takes them off I soak them in a bucket with a lid on in hot soapy water. The stains come out and to make sure I put them in with the normal wash. I always have a couple of pairs hidden away just in case. I do the same with vests and pantie girdles. Occasionally I have to throw a pair away if there is no hope for them but that does not matter as I keep plenty of them. Also I do make sure that mum does not have all of her knickers as she has been known to hide things. There are enough for a few days in her room, a couple of freshly laundered ones in the airing cupboard, a couple of pairs being soaked and my secret stash.

I never imagined myself doing this but I feel a great knowing that that intimate bit of mum is fresh and clean. If it gets worse I will seek advice and deal with it.
 

twinklestar

Registered User
Sep 14, 2014
84
0
The smell of poo

I could scream I'm finding this situation with mum and her bowels extremely difficult. It doesn't help that in the middle of the night she raids the fridge and overloads her already struggling bowel, despite the fact that I always leave her a bedtime snack.
I just wish she could go to bed go to sleep and stay there till morning. I'm feeling ragged.
Sorry but after 2 years of living with and caring for my mum I am reaching the point of meltdown.

We noticed mum was having loose bowel movements. Mum has a sweet tooth and we found the cheap sweets we were buying her and she enjoyed, were doing her no good. We stopped giving her the sweets and the problem stopped.
 

bemused1

Registered User
Mar 4, 2012
3,402
0
Dad has just recently started with problems in the night - not getting to the loo on time so puddles and patches on the bedroom carpet: probably because he is not well.
I like the idea of vinyl flooring but can anyone give me an idea of what has worked for them?
Is it really not slip?
I don't like cleaning up in the morning but the thought of him slipping concerns me.
Many Thanks

We have Rhinofloor vinyl throughout the house. Very hard wearing, will take chairs beds Tec. Also so far have found no problems with slipping at all. Sure makes cleaning up easier.
 

shooey

Registered User
Oct 8, 2014
2
0
Northampton
Personal Hygiene Issue

Hi I am new on here. My mum has dementia early to middle stages. She is very overweight & is unable to wash herself down below(a combination of her illness & weight). She refuses all help offered & becomes very agitated. She always says she has washed already but obviously hasn't due to unpleasant smell caused by soiled underwear & trousers..I am hoping someone can suggest a way I can help her. Thankyou.
 

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