Hello, I am new to the forum and am asking for help. My Mum is in a nursing home because she attacks my husband and myself, verbally and physically. She has been in the home for 2 years and asks to go home all the time. She accepted that she was too ill to look after herself to start with. Now she is getting very aggressive and insisting that she is going home and we can't stop her. It is very upsetting for us when we visit and we try to do all that we can to keep her calm and content. Is it better to explain to her that she lives in the home now or keep putting her off. There is another problem looming as the Home is closing and moving to another place and Mum will be moving with it. We just don't know what to do.
Dots daughter
- Thread starter dotsdaughter
- Start date
Hi Dot's daughter
Welcome to the forum, although I am sorry that you have to be here in the circumstances.
My mum has been in a lovely care home for almost two years and always wants to "go home", she usually threatens to run away too.
I've tried saying this is your home now, but she doesn't accept that and forgets what I've said within a few minutes. Sometimes I say that it is a Convalescant Home and they are helping to get her strong again (after her stay in hospital) that seems to go down better but she still wants to go home. I think it is common for dementia sufferers to want to go home (or probably back to the way things were)
It really is heartbreaking isn't it. I dread each visit and often drive home in tears.
I have tried bringing my Mum back home with me for the day but even then it isn't what she wants and we usually end up going out for a drive around and then back to the home.
Pauline
x
Welcome to the forum, although I am sorry that you have to be here in the circumstances.
My mum has been in a lovely care home for almost two years and always wants to "go home", she usually threatens to run away too.
I've tried saying this is your home now, but she doesn't accept that and forgets what I've said within a few minutes. Sometimes I say that it is a Convalescant Home and they are helping to get her strong again (after her stay in hospital) that seems to go down better but she still wants to go home. I think it is common for dementia sufferers to want to go home (or probably back to the way things were)
It really is heartbreaking isn't it. I dread each visit and often drive home in tears.
I have tried bringing my Mum back home with me for the day but even then it isn't what she wants and we usually end up going out for a drive around and then back to the home.
Pauline
x
Assuming your mum has dementia, have you tried telling her she is on holiday, we did this recently with my dad when he had some respite. Seemed to accept this and didn't question that we were visiting him
