A new stage in my life...................
- Thread starter Grannie G
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My mum wanted her ashes scattered at sea
my dad arranged a boat and a vicar but then said he couldnt go through with it and scattered her ashes where her beloved parents ashes were scattered
looking back i guess we could have just done it off Southend Pier
My Dad wanted to be buried in a village where we had lived but he also wanted a horse drawn hearse with black plumes and all the works. When it came to it we had to compromise as it would have meant a change of horses so we chose the horse drawn hearse and buried him in the graveyard of the village where he died.
It was a sad day but there was a lot of humour in it too, he would have loved his send off.
You will know Saffie when the time is right
my dad arranged a boat and a vicar but then said he couldnt go through with it and scattered her ashes where her beloved parents ashes were scattered
looking back i guess we could have just done it off Southend Pier
My Dad wanted to be buried in a village where we had lived but he also wanted a horse drawn hearse with black plumes and all the works. When it came to it we had to compromise as it would have meant a change of horses so we chose the horse drawn hearse and buried him in the graveyard of the village where he died.
It was a sad day but there was a lot of humour in it too, he would have loved his send off.
You will know Saffie when the time is right
I have been on my laptop for the first time in ages, writing a complicated business email concerning a legal matter. Just about to log off I saw a notification of your thread, Sylvia, I was deeply moved by what you so eloquently wrote, and went to your thread to read more and see your photographs.
So happy for you that all went as you wished when you said farewell to Dhiren as he set off on his journey to the Ganges. He will be in my thoughts. In my mind's eye I could see Dhiren and his lovely unforgettable smile. Feel his peace....
I remember when you wrote about the marigold, and now again one appears. Yes indeed a sign. Many things we can never explain but so often coincidences go beyond just being that.
It is sad about the tree, I love trees, yet the practicalities of it being felled are understandable. But good that Dhiren did not witness it and feel sad.
You do sound at peace, Sylvia. You waited until it was the right time for you. I am sure as others have said that Saffie will know when that time comes, and what she - and Dave - would want.
May the peace remain with you Sylvia. I feel it myself, reading your words. Thank you for sharing a special day with us.
My thoughts and love
Loo xxx
So happy for you that all went as you wished when you said farewell to Dhiren as he set off on his journey to the Ganges. He will be in my thoughts. In my mind's eye I could see Dhiren and his lovely unforgettable smile. Feel his peace....
I remember when you wrote about the marigold, and now again one appears. Yes indeed a sign. Many things we can never explain but so often coincidences go beyond just being that.
It is sad about the tree, I love trees, yet the practicalities of it being felled are understandable. But good that Dhiren did not witness it and feel sad.
You do sound at peace, Sylvia. You waited until it was the right time for you. I am sure as others have said that Saffie will know when that time comes, and what she - and Dave - would want.
May the peace remain with you Sylvia. I feel it myself, reading your words. Thank you for sharing a special day with us.
My thoughts and love
Loo xxx
Thank you so much Loo. xx
At the meeting addressing my complaint about Dhiren`s and my distressing treatment when he had pneumonia, I was invited to attend and speak at the Dementia Champions meeting at the hospital.
The meeting was today.
I was greeted warmly by one nurse in charge of dementia training at the hospital and introduced to another nurse who was in charge of dementia training at the three main hospitals in the area.
Both expressed their shock regarding our experience and declared it should never have happened.
There is a policy in place so every patient admitted with dementia is seen by the dementia nurse , but in our case it hadn`t happened.
No one knows why.
It is possible the dementia nurse might have been on leave .
No one has checked to see if that was so.
I was asked to tell my story , without pulling punches, to help ensure this would never happen again.
Between fifteen and twenty people were expected to attend in the small meeting room, but more and more kept coming, extra chairs were brought in and the room was full to capacity.
I imagine there were between thirty and thirty-five people in the room.
I told our story and then spoke about the communication difficulties experienced by people in the later stages of dementia. I expressed, with everything I have, the importance of listening to carers, both family members and care home carers, particularly when those with dementia are unable to speak for themselves and make their needs known.
I noticed one of the nurses had a copy of the AS publication `This is me`
I said I had completed one for Dhiren and she asked if it had been clipped to the foot of the bed.
No. It had been placed in a file and taken away.
She was annoyed.
When I finished, the dementia nurse was quite emotional as were several others. She said everyone knew the story but it made a much bigger impact hearing about it in my own words.
Questions were invited and a discussion followed.
I felt it was constructive and those attending seemed to feel the same. They were as attentive as I could have wished.
When the discussion was over the dementia nurses discussed topics for future training.
I was pleased when two topics were suggested as an outcome of my talk. They are the Different Forms of Dementia and The Effect of Infections on People with Dementia.
The nurse in charge of area training has asked for more TP Flyers which I will take in next week.
I have been invited to attend future dementia awareness gatherings.
I `m so pleased such a traumatic and distressing episode has developed into a productive relationship and it seems there will be opportunities to develop it further.
At the meeting addressing my complaint about Dhiren`s and my distressing treatment when he had pneumonia, I was invited to attend and speak at the Dementia Champions meeting at the hospital.
The meeting was today.
I was greeted warmly by one nurse in charge of dementia training at the hospital and introduced to another nurse who was in charge of dementia training at the three main hospitals in the area.
Both expressed their shock regarding our experience and declared it should never have happened.
There is a policy in place so every patient admitted with dementia is seen by the dementia nurse , but in our case it hadn`t happened.
No one knows why.
It is possible the dementia nurse might have been on leave .
No one has checked to see if that was so.
I was asked to tell my story , without pulling punches, to help ensure this would never happen again.
Between fifteen and twenty people were expected to attend in the small meeting room, but more and more kept coming, extra chairs were brought in and the room was full to capacity.
I imagine there were between thirty and thirty-five people in the room.
I told our story and then spoke about the communication difficulties experienced by people in the later stages of dementia. I expressed, with everything I have, the importance of listening to carers, both family members and care home carers, particularly when those with dementia are unable to speak for themselves and make their needs known.
I noticed one of the nurses had a copy of the AS publication `This is me`
I said I had completed one for Dhiren and she asked if it had been clipped to the foot of the bed.
No. It had been placed in a file and taken away.
She was annoyed.
When I finished, the dementia nurse was quite emotional as were several others. She said everyone knew the story but it made a much bigger impact hearing about it in my own words.
Questions were invited and a discussion followed.
I felt it was constructive and those attending seemed to feel the same. They were as attentive as I could have wished.
When the discussion was over the dementia nurses discussed topics for future training.
I was pleased when two topics were suggested as an outcome of my talk. They are the Different Forms of Dementia and The Effect of Infections on People with Dementia.
The nurse in charge of area training has asked for more TP Flyers which I will take in next week.
I have been invited to attend future dementia awareness gatherings.
I `m so pleased such a traumatic and distressing episode has developed into a productive relationship and it seems there will be opportunities to develop it further.
A dreadful experience that tore you apart at the time but a wonderful legacy for Dhiren for you to pursue it, Sylvia.
I'm gladdened to hear that they responded so positively.
I don't know how you did it! in front of so many people...driven/guided by love and bad experience, no doubt.
This is how lessons are learned and systems changed.
Well done for having the fortitude to follow it through and the bravery to carry it out. X
I'm gladdened to hear that they responded so positively.
I don't know how you did it! in front of so many people...driven/guided by love and bad experience, no doubt.
This is how lessons are learned and systems changed.
Well done for having the fortitude to follow it through and the bravery to carry it out. X
Bravo Sylvia
You did yourself and Dhiren proud. I'm hope that you weren't too distressed recounting Dhiren's treatment in Hospital-how brave you were. It takes people like you to effect change-strong, articulate people who won't settle for sub-standard treatment. You are a star.
Love
Lyn T X
You did yourself and Dhiren proud. I'm hope that you weren't too distressed recounting Dhiren's treatment in Hospital-how brave you were. It takes people like you to effect change-strong, articulate people who won't settle for sub-standard treatment. You are a star.
Love
Lyn T X
Thanks so much everyone.
There was no bravery or courage involved, I`m too big a wimp for that, honestly.
I do get worked up about injustice , in particular that bordering on bullying or the presumption people in high places believe in a hierarchy over the rest of us.
I knew I had right on my side.
There was no bravery or courage involved, I`m too big a wimp for that, honestly.
I do get worked up about injustice , in particular that bordering on bullying or the presumption people in high places believe in a hierarchy over the rest of us.
I knew I had right on my side.
Your words will spread out, like ripples on a lake, and Dhiren's legacy, through you, will be the better understanding of all those professionals you spoke to. They will spread the word, and through that patients and their families will benefit. Well done Sylvia.
I'm sure you made such an impact through the depth of feeling you expressed Sylvia.
Well done.
I'm sure that Dhiren was in your heart when you were speaking and he would have been so very proud of you. xxx
Well done.
I'm sure that Dhiren was in your heart when you were speaking and he would have been so very proud of you. xxx
No I don`t mind being described as a vehicle Butter. It`s strange you should make that particular comment because I once told a friend I see myself as a messenger.
I had a phone call from the Dementia Nurse yesterday to make arrangements to take some Flyers to the hospital. She was full of enthusiasm , said the talk had been `fantastic` and nurses had taken what I`d said on board.
Some nurses were most anxious this trauma hadn`t happened on their wards.
She also asked if my reception made me feel better towards the hospital.
It was this comment which made me realise how much my complaint had affected those involved and the reason I`m posting.
It is so important we should not fight shy of making Formal Complaints . Any complaints I have made in the past have been addressed and acted upon and the two very serious complaints I have made recently have been as effective as I could have wished.
Please don`t think I`m blowing my own trumpet here. I just feel complaints about personal experiences have an impact and if we want to change bad practice it`s one way to go.
I had a phone call from the Dementia Nurse yesterday to make arrangements to take some Flyers to the hospital. She was full of enthusiasm , said the talk had been `fantastic` and nurses had taken what I`d said on board.
Some nurses were most anxious this trauma hadn`t happened on their wards.
She also asked if my reception made me feel better towards the hospital.
It was this comment which made me realise how much my complaint had affected those involved and the reason I`m posting.
It is so important we should not fight shy of making Formal Complaints . Any complaints I have made in the past have been addressed and acted upon and the two very serious complaints I have made recently have been as effective as I could have wished.
Please don`t think I`m blowing my own trumpet here. I just feel complaints about personal experiences have an impact and if we want to change bad practice it`s one way to go.
You are so right Sylvia. We have to learn to choose the battles we fight and some we can pass over, but to complain and keep complaining when something big or fundamental to the care our loved ones need and the way it is administered is very important.
You have done this and got an excellent result for your effort, we, hopefully, can follow your lead and get the caring profession to really care.
Thank you Sylvia,
Jay
You have done this and got an excellent result for your effort, we, hopefully, can follow your lead and get the caring profession to really care.
Thank you Sylvia,
Jay
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