Alzheimer's behaviour

[CollegeGirl]

I'd be interested to hear what sort of behaviour people have experienced in someone with Alzheimer's. These are some of the things that my mam does - are they familiar to you, and what other behaviour have you experienced?

Paces constantly, rarely sitting down for more than a few seconds at a time;
Switches moods extremely quickly - often from second to second;
Moves furniture around obsessively;
Frequently misunderstands what's being said to her;
Unmakes the bed;
Pulls wires out from the phone, telly, etc;
Is obsessed with cushions;
Thinks he's said or done something nasty when in reality it's she who has done so;
Refuses to get washed or dressed;
Demands his full attention at all times;
Is verbally and physically abusive;
Sees the negative in everything;
Won't get in/out of the car when necessary;
Won't go out of/in through the front door when necessary etc.

I feel that these are all common behaviour but dad has never seen anyone else behaving this way, either in the several homes we've used, nor the day centre she used to go to.

I'm not looking for advice, this time, on how to deal with any of the above, just confirmation (or otherwise) that mam is not alone with this sort of behaviour, and examples if you'd care to give them.

Many thanks.

 

[Anongirl]

Hi CG. I certainly recognise some of those characteristics in my mum. I have a feeling your mum is just a couple of steps further on than my mum but I certainly see this behaviour pattern emerging.

It's funny you mention cushions. Mum used to buy cushions constantly when she lived at home, many of them the same.

As a side note for your dad, I look at the people in mum's care home and although they don't all have dementia very many of them do. They don't seem to display the same behaviour as my mum either. It is only when I sit with them for a while that I spot their individual behaviour patterns. There's a lady who constantly wanders and sets and unsets the tables for dinner. Another whose constantly looking for her hand bag, another who sits with all her religious statues but actually seems very 'with it', not as confused as my mum.

I've certainly started paying more attention. I guess it's only natural to compare xxx

 

[HelenInBC]

I guess it depends greatly the parts of the brain that are affected and how severely so, but I have notice these things in my own mom who has AD:

-Switches moods extremely quickly - often from second to second;
-Frequently misunderstands what's being said to her;

My mom also does things like:
-obsesses about things being 'in the right place' she constantly straightened things and tries to put things away
-picks at things she sees on the floor, specs of dirt or fluff. She will walk around doing this for ages
-stresses when lights are left on and she thinks they should be off. She is always turning lights off.
-is often paranoid that others are talking about her or ignoring her and gets angry about it.
-thinks all old men are her friend Jim. Calls them all Jim and fawns over them like boyfriends.., (awkward!)

 

[Weary]

Here is a small list of what my MIL did which could go on endlessly - although she is now in the latter stages

Obsessed over people stealing her money/things and accused everyone
Constantly hid her bag and purse which we would then spend hours finding
Thought her teddy bears were her real children and treated them as such, she put them in her bed then refused to sleep in it as they were there and slept all night everynight in a chair
Fed the teddy bears and her rubber plant which were all smeared with food all the time
Thought that there were people living in her armchairs who couldnt get out and wouldnt allow you to sit on them or you would hurt them
Paced constantly
Thought the family were always out having get togethers leaving her out
Constantly in a foul and argumentative mood
Wanted all her teeth taken out all the time as she didnt know what they were
Before she went into a home constantly wandered around her building knocking on neighbours doors also at 2 or 3 in the morning

 

[Ann Mac]

Paces constantly, rarely sitting down for more than a few seconds at a time;
Switches moods extremely quickly - often from second to second;
Moves furniture around obsessively;
Frequently misunderstands what's being said to her;
Unmakes the bed;
Pulls wires out from the phone, telly, etc;
Is obsessed with cushions;
Thinks he's said or done something nasty when in reality it's she who has done so;
Refuses to get washed or dressed;
Demands his full attention at all times;
Is verbally and physically abusive;
Sees the negative in everything;
Won't get in/out of the car when necessary;
Won't go out of/in through the front door when necessary etc.

I can recognise a lot from your list, CG.

Mil -

Has periods when especially agitated when she can't sit for more than a few minutes - rather than 'pace', she will suddenly get up and go looking for 'something', or feels she has to do a particular 'something', and 9 times out of 10, this 'something' is imaginary - she will look for a piece of paper she swears she 'always has' or head for the kitchen to get a non-existent cake from the oven

The mood swings - yep, can spin on a sixpence, we tend to say - from fairly relaxed to tears or anger in seconds.

Doesn't move furniture, but at times her handbag is constantly rooted through and moved from place to place. She often does the same with her shoes or coat - for some reason moving them from place to place, room to room.

Definitely having more and more times when she can't process what is said, which leads to a lot of misunderstandings.

No problems with the bed, other than rarely remembers to make it these days. As regards wires, etc, slightly different, but in the last few months she was at home, frequently removed batteries from remotes, etc and for some reason, kept taking her sky card out, and either putting it back wrong or forgetting where she had put it (many a dash down to her old house after she phoned crying because her TV wasn't working!) - she will still remove batteries, so we keep an eye on her with the remote control and have given up on a bedside clock as she will unplug it/remove batteries/over wind it.

No interest in cushions (grateful for small mercies!)

Yes - can say something very vicious but insist that its someone else who has said the 'nasty' things. Sometimes she attributes something she has said to someone else, more often, though, its like 'attack is the best form of defence' - if I point out something she has said or done isn't 'nice', she will counter it with an accusation that either myself or whoever she has been unpleasant to, has said or done something equally nasty (or worse) first

A battle, often, to persuade her to wash/change clothes.

Attention seeking - oh boy, a big fat YES. Me, if I am the only one here, but an increasing desire to be her sons main focus, when Hubs is around. Almost to the point of obsession, very wearying for both of us, and frustrating as its increasingly difficult for the two of us to even have 5 minutes privacy during the day when she is around.

Can be very verbally abusive, but thankfully, not physically (yet).

The negativity is really hard to cope with - I swear it feels like she looks for things to be miserable about. Every conversation, almost without exception, centres around her wanting to talk about what she perceives as all her problems - from how she looks, to how she feels, to her 'situation' - we so rarely hear her say anything positive.

We haven't had any problems with getting in and out of the car - but a couple of times now, her support workers have

We've had a few occasions when she has flatly refused to go out - she tries to insist that she can 'stay here' by herself I try and organise it so there is nothing essential that I have to go out for when I am solo with her, because I can't guarantee that she will comply and the resultant bad mood if I have to insist can last all day.

Other than the above, the main thing at the moment is the 'instant gratification' she expects - she will come down, ask for breakfast and occasionally I am just in the middle of something else. If I ask her to wait, just a few moments, she will repeatedly ask 'Am I not allowed breakfast?/Can you not spare some toast?/are you not going to feed me?'. Or, if one of the kids are around, she will immediately turn to them and ask them 'can you let me have a cuppa and a bit of toast?' And its the same with everything - if I can't get her what she wants, or do what she wants, straight away, she will either repeatedly ask, or go from person to person in the house, asking them. Often seems like you deal with one 'demand' and she is straight on to the next - e.g. I do her hair, and as soon as I put away the brush she is asking me to do something else. Put a drink down in front of her, and forget thank you - she will straight away ask where the biscuit is!. She will repeatedly interrupt conversations or phone calls, because she can't change the channel on the TV or because she wants a drink, NOW. She has just lost the ability to wait, completely

 

[CollegeGirl]

Thank you everyone, these are all very useful and interesting. I'm sorry that you're going through similar frustrations.

 

[Mango]

Moves furniture around obsessively;
.

My father-in-law did this in the Care Home, and some of the chairs were quite heavy!

Staff let him do so, it kept him occupied

My Mum is still living at home on her own (with a lot of help from my sister and me) and so far, fingers crossed, has not shown any of the behaviour on your list.

 

[snoggy1one]

Hi, I would just like to add a few things that my mum does.

Mum is quite unpredictable and moody and has regular mood changes. She spends a lot of time constantly emptying her handbag, drawers, and wardrobe and then she roots for lost things and hides things and wraps things up in socks, sheets or tissues to further hide them.

Mum is always accusing everyone of using her things and stealing from her and barricades herself in her room with cushions on the other side of door to try and stop anyone coming in. She refuses to have any windows or doors open in case anyone gets in and closes any that she sees open.

Mum cannot concentrate on tv, and hates noise and being involved in any group discussions or activities. She puts her fingers in her ears like a child to block every noise out. She constantly sits around 'waiting for a bus' and thinks she is going somewhere, or is waiting for a taxi.

Hope this helps you. When I type it all out, it still shocks me.... What a terrible illness for all of us to endure. xx

 

[gringo]

This hiding things and worrying about people stealing seems to be very common. Difficult as these behaviours are to contend with, imagine how it must feel from the other side, as it were. I try and put myself in my wife’s position, and think it must be a very frightening world that she lives in. It’s so difficult to reassure and help.

 

[Darren 48]

Mum is 83 diagnosed with AZ 3 years ago, for the last two days life has been hell for me and my wife caring for her until we found out why.She became verbally active against us both and throwing clothes at us also breaking her drawers in her room throwing her jewellery in the bin all because of a urinary tract infection of keytones protein and blood in the urine we had to ring 111 to get two nurses out to find this out.As she wasn't taking her meds or eating or refusing to drink which lead her to become dehydrated they gave me some antibiotics to give her and now she is back to her normal self again .Today we have got the GP coming out to check on her .

 

[CollegeGirl]

Thank you all for your contributions to this thread. It is indeed a terrible illness and I sorely wish it could be eradicated forever.

 

[Rageddy Anne]

I can recognise a lot from your list, CG.

Mil -

Has periods when especially agitated when she can't sit for more than a few minutes - rather than 'pace', she will suddenly get up and go looking for 'something', or feels she has to do a particular 'something', and 9 times out of 10, this 'something' is imaginary - she will look for a piece of paper she swears she 'always has' or head for the kitchen to get a non-existent cake from the oven

The mood swings - yep, can spin on a sixpence, we tend to say - from fairly relaxed to tears or anger in seconds.

Doesn't move furniture, but at times her handbag is constantly rooted through and moved from place to place. She often does the same with her shoes or coat - for some reason moving them from place to place, room to room.

Definitely having more and more times when she can't process what is said, which leads to a lot of misunderstandings.

No problems with the bed, other than rarely remembers to make it these days. As regards wires, etc, slightly different, but in the last few months she was at home, frequently removed batteries from remotes, etc and for some reason, kept taking her sky card out, and either putting it back wrong or forgetting where she had put it (many a dash down to her old house after she phoned crying because her TV wasn't working!) - she will still remove batteries, so we keep an eye on her with the remote control and have given up on a bedside clock as she will unplug it/remove batteries/over wind it.

No interest in cushions (grateful for small mercies!)

Yes - can say something very vicious but insist that its someone else who has said the 'nasty' things. Sometimes she attributes something she has said to someone else, more often, though, its like 'attack is the best form of defence' - if I point out something she has said or done isn't 'nice', she will counter it with an accusation that either myself or whoever she has been unpleasant to, has said or done something equally nasty (or worse) first

A battle, often, to persuade her to wash/change clothes.

Attention seeking - oh boy, a big fat YES. Me, if I am the only one here, but an increasing desire to be her sons main focus, when Hubs is around. Almost to the point of obsession, very wearying for both of us, and frustrating as its increasingly difficult for the two of us to even have 5 minutes privacy during the day when she is around.

Can be very verbally abusive, but thankfully, not physically (yet).

The negativity is really hard to cope with - I swear it feels like she looks for things to be miserable about. Every conversation, almost without exception, centres around her wanting to talk about what she perceives as all her problems - from how she looks, to how she feels, to her 'situation' - we so rarely hear her say anything positive.

We haven't had any problems with getting in and out of the car - but a couple of times now, her support workers have

We've had a few occasions when she has flatly refused to go out - she tries to insist that she can 'stay here' by herself I try and organise it so there is nothing essential that I have to go out for when I am solo with her, because I can't guarantee that she will comply and the resultant bad mood if I have to insist can last all day.

Other than the above, the main thing at the moment is the 'instant gratification' she expects - she will come down, ask for breakfast and occasionally I am just in the middle of something else. If I ask her to wait, just a few moments, she will repeatedly ask 'Am I not allowed breakfast?/Can you not spare some toast?/are you not going to feed me?'. Or, if one of the kids are around, she will immediately turn to them and ask them 'can you let me have a cuppa and a bit of toast?' And its the same with everything - if I can't get her what she wants, or do what she wants, straight away, she will either repeatedly ask, or go from person to person in the house, asking them. Often seems like you deal with one 'demand' and she is straight on to the next - e.g. I do her hair, and as soon as I put away the brush she is asking me to do something else. Put a drink down in front of her, and forget thank you - she will straight away ask where the biscuit is!. She will repeatedly interrupt conversations or phone calls, because she can't change the channel on the TV or because she wants a drink, NOW. She has just lost the ability to wait, completely

Not being able to wait must relate to short term memory loss, I think. My husband seems to need instant gratification; his needs are urgent to him, and I guess he somehow knows if things don't happen immediately he's going to forget, and then if I ask him what he wanted he will have forgotten, and be embarrassed.

 

[woon]

Alzheimer Behavior

My mom 83, it will be good if we can compare notes - at time I do feel lost on how to handle my mom

Paces constantly, rarely sitting down for more than a few seconds at a time - yes she always busy, unpack cloths, pack cloths, hid her stuff, check her stuff, stuff missing

Switches moods extremely quickly - often from second to second; - this is something I cant deal with and am not dealing it well. One day Ok next will start sobbing, asking why she with me and not her house, where her kids, worried a lot of her kids, need to go back look after kids, sometime sobs sometimes cries

Moves furniture around obsessively; - thank GOD she does not do this

Frequently misunderstands what's being said to her; - yes cos her mind cant think more. she will have her own fix mind. even if I say all your kids grown up she will insist no- they are small. I have now learnt not to argue with her. Whatever she says I just say yes

Unmakes the bed; - mom still OK with this. She makes her bed

Pulls wires out from the phone, telly, etc; - Yes on off she will off the switch

Is obsessed with cushions; - Mom Ok

Thinks he's said or done something nasty when in reality it's she who has done so;
Refuses to get washed or dressed; - Sometimes she confused. Asked her to take bath she said taken. I used to argued with her saying no. Now just say OK but take again good for you and walk her to toilet. Luckily she can still bath herself

Demands his full attention at all times; - This is for sure as now she is like small kids. See me back, will start asking why she is at my place, where her kids, why her leg pain, why sick and at times cries. Sometimes will start telling stories, her childhood, her parents. She still think she is young - not sure what age in her mind cos I said she already 83 she said no way. She even asked why she looks older than me

Is verbally and physically abusive; - Luckily no. Pray hard she will be remain this way

Sees the negative in everything;- Yes lately she is very depressed. Cried, want to die, not interested in anything. We took off the medication for Alzheimer - Ebixa (after 3 weeks) cos I noticed that with the medication her depression got worst. Now she is on small dosage of anti depression. Still sob on off but time being manageable and pray hard it remains the same

Won't get in/out of the car when necessary; - She is OK she will go any place we bring her

Won't go out of/in through the front door when necessary etc. - Yes if want to take her out for a walk she is not interested.

Mom is at home alone cos we all work. sometimes daughter back early from uni. I checked on mom thru cctv - she none stop does all the cloths, hides her stuff and does not even rest or sleep. Her bad side always start after 6pm. At night somehow the mind get mixed up. Will start on saying want to go home, why kids not back, why no one call asking where she is, worried and sad. Not easy to handle

Not sure whether we need to start her on other Alzheimer medication. So worried of trying. Dr said the Ebixa side effect is low nothing on depression. One thing I noticed is mom used to only remember her childhood, her parents, her aunt, sisters, school. Sometimes I am her sister, sometimes her aunt. 3rd week of medication, I think the Ebixa trigger her mind and all the sudden she remembered my dad and her kids (which is not me) maybe when all of use young. The bad side of this is her depression really shoot up. She wants to go back, worried of kids, cried. One night she cried so loud and non stop for nearly 1 hour plus. Accusing me of not taking her back and said why she has home cant go back and said might as well die and even refused to eat medicine. That night was bad. So I took off the medication and email the Dr. I read all the feedback from patients who took Ebixa, yes depression is bad

Thanks for listening

 

[21citrouilles]

Frequently misunderstands what's being said to her;
Unmakes the bed;
Pulls wires out from the phone, telly, etc;
Refuses to get washed or dressed (before the NH)
Demands his full attention at all times;

Plus​

Throwing away most of her stuff
Sleeping only on a fitted sheet, wrapped in comforter like a mummy
Loosing most of her lifelong skills, like cooking, using the TV
Thinking that people steal from her
Saying that her roommate goes through her closet while she doesn’t realize she does the same
Hiding things to keep them safe from thieves
Often not knowing where she is
Wanting to wear the same old ratty clothes all of the time
Repeating the same questions over and over again.

This illness is heartrending, exhausting and hard because it is so destructive. When my mother got counselling from a mental health nurse, it helped her knowing that she wasn’t alone in experiencing these bewildering difficulties.

 

[MissM]

My mam is:-
Rarely in the house, wants to be out at all hours regardless of what time it is but it has to be a home visit wether we are just going to bed, getting ready for work or even getting ready to go away for the weekend over the caravan
Starts off angry then frightened
Doesn't want my dad near here but when he leaves the room forgets then wants him back
Doesn't remember anything that's happened unless you try n prod her memory
Doesn't change her clothes or bath cos she thinks she has already done it
Just wont listen when you try and tell her anything because she knows what she wants and if it don't fit then has a tantrum
Constantly repeats herself


My dad won't get any form of help cos it's admitting there's an issue, we then have to have endless visits even when we go away to reassure them both....
Just found out that he isn't giving her tablets because he can't remember what they are for, sat her typing this whilst waiting for the second visit as they have rung to say they are on their way even tho I have gone to my caravan for a little bit of peace feel guilty as its not either of their fault she is ill but the arguments that are developing because of the constant visits is getting out of control.multiply that between myself and my brother that is a minimum of 6 times a day they are on the road