Hi
I was just wondering whether people here have been able to access respite care for their loved ones with or without a battle?
Just a quick sum up of what's going on: My mum is in the very early stages of dementia, has been referred for a brain scan. My dad is in a nursing home with a terminal brain tumour. Social services are involved with her as she is disabled and not able to cope by herself, Dad was her carer. She currently has 2 carers visits a day to administer her medication. She has a help at home lady who takes her shopping once a week. Had a meeting with her new social worker last week who is nominating her for extra care housing. Sounds fairly straightforward? Wrong!
The problem is, i am the only child and she calls me constantly moaning about all her ailments, how she can't cope, how ive got to go over to her's (i live 2 hours away). A large part of me thinks this is emotional blackmail to get me over there. I rang her last night and she said the GP never called her back about her back pain. I ended up having to dial 111 for medical advise. They spoke to mum and told her she should go to hospital. But she had no way of getting there and couldn't face going by herself at 9pm. So she then rang me this morning and said i had to go over, she was still in pain with her back and couldn't move, and that her breathing was bad. So i told her to call an ambulance. I figured that is she was in extreme pain then she needs medical attention. The ambulance eventually arrived and ambulance practioner called me saying she was ok and not in extreme pain, she was able to walk around. She said that this is more of a social issue (ie she is depressed and not coping with dad being so ill) and that she is very much at risk because she is refusing to eat (she has a fridge full of food but can never face eating anything) and is not managing to take her dihydracodeine with any regularlity (she needs to take it more often than the carers visit). She has highly recommended that my mum go into respite care so that both her and i can have a break. She is emailing my mum's gp practice manager and is explaining how bad the situation has become, that she is now very vulnerable etc. She has told me to ring them on monday morning and press for respite care. I now think this is the only option for now as i cannot care for her and deal with my dad 's terminal condition, its going to send me over the edge . She has also told me to inform my mum's social worker in monday.
Can people advise me if respite care IS likely to be offered, especially with this written recommendation from the ambulance practitioner? How much else do things have to escalate?
Eleanor
I was just wondering whether people here have been able to access respite care for their loved ones with or without a battle?
Just a quick sum up of what's going on: My mum is in the very early stages of dementia, has been referred for a brain scan. My dad is in a nursing home with a terminal brain tumour. Social services are involved with her as she is disabled and not able to cope by herself, Dad was her carer. She currently has 2 carers visits a day to administer her medication. She has a help at home lady who takes her shopping once a week. Had a meeting with her new social worker last week who is nominating her for extra care housing. Sounds fairly straightforward? Wrong!
The problem is, i am the only child and she calls me constantly moaning about all her ailments, how she can't cope, how ive got to go over to her's (i live 2 hours away). A large part of me thinks this is emotional blackmail to get me over there. I rang her last night and she said the GP never called her back about her back pain. I ended up having to dial 111 for medical advise. They spoke to mum and told her she should go to hospital. But she had no way of getting there and couldn't face going by herself at 9pm. So she then rang me this morning and said i had to go over, she was still in pain with her back and couldn't move, and that her breathing was bad. So i told her to call an ambulance. I figured that is she was in extreme pain then she needs medical attention. The ambulance eventually arrived and ambulance practioner called me saying she was ok and not in extreme pain, she was able to walk around. She said that this is more of a social issue (ie she is depressed and not coping with dad being so ill) and that she is very much at risk because she is refusing to eat (she has a fridge full of food but can never face eating anything) and is not managing to take her dihydracodeine with any regularlity (she needs to take it more often than the carers visit). She has highly recommended that my mum go into respite care so that both her and i can have a break. She is emailing my mum's gp practice manager and is explaining how bad the situation has become, that she is now very vulnerable etc. She has told me to ring them on monday morning and press for respite care. I now think this is the only option for now as i cannot care for her and deal with my dad 's terminal condition, its going to send me over the edge . She has also told me to inform my mum's social worker in monday.
Can people advise me if respite care IS likely to be offered, especially with this written recommendation from the ambulance practitioner? How much else do things have to escalate?
Eleanor
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