teachers at school

Skye

Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
17,000
0
SW Scotland
Dear Lauren

Your teacher's behaviour is completely unacceptable. Leaving aside that she was in the wrong for not giving you adequate notice of the performance, and again for mocking you for caring, she was completely wrong to humiliate you in public like that.

I think you're right, she has no idea about dementia, but she should know that public humiliation is not an acceptable way to treat a kind and caring student. That should have been part of her training, and I speak as a former teacher.

I think your father should ask for an appointment to see the head, and put these points to him/her. Failing that, he could write to the chairman of governors. This is a serious matter.

I hope your classmates are being supportive of you. Let us know how you get on.

Love,

Love,
 

elaineo2

Registered User
Jul 6, 2007
945
0
leigh lancashire
Dear Lauren,My word,this is so unreasonable and unacceptable from anyone,never mind a teacher!I would suggest you talk to the "head" and let them know your circumstances,if this is met with disdain then contact the LEA.This is an abuse of your rights.love elainex
 

Nell

Registered User
Aug 9, 2005
1,170
0
72
Australia
Dear Lauren,
I haven't replied to this thread before now because it seemed everyone else had said everything very well.

I just want you to know that, as a teacher of over 35 years experience, I am appalled and disgusted by the experience you have had with your drama teacher. Sadly, there are people like this in every profession. I can only say to you what a wise person once said to me:

"Remember that in every profession there are 50% who came bottom of their class!"

I suspect that this teacher is one of those unfortunate people who thinks she is more important than anyone else, and that her subject is more important than anyone else's subject!

Hold your head high with your class mates and just tell them what you've said so well in your post:

Sadly, i think she just doesnt apprechiate what dementia is like and that its not as easy as she makes out to rearrange plans with someone who cant manage on their own and is relying on you.

Has your Dad read all the responses to your post? I suggest you print them out for him, and he may even like to take them with him when he speaks to the Principal. I think the time has come now to talk to the Principal, because this teacher's behaviour is highly unsupportive and unprofessional. (Apart from anything else she has breached confidentiality by letting others see she is angry with you.)

I'm so pleased your Dad is "in your corner". It always makes me sad (as a teacher) when I see parents who won't stick up for their kids. Sometimes kids shouldn't be stood up for! :eek: As in when they are in the wrong and won't take responsinbility for their actions. But when a student is doing the right thing, as you are, it is great to see parents support their kids. Well done, Lauren's Dad!! :)

I hope you get a satisfactory solution soon.
 

Margaret W

Registered User
Apr 28, 2007
3,720
0
North Derbyshire
No. no, let us not all get carried away with slating teachers or whatever. The fact is (and I'm sure you will all agree with me), that people who haven't experienced Alzheimers or dementia simply don't know what it is like. They aren't intending to be mean or cruel, they just don't understand what it is like for us carers and family supporters.

It was the same when my daughter was diagnosed with Bulimia. Everyone thought it was this or that, they didn't understand what it was really like, the tears, the anguish, and why would they understand? They thought she was just obsessed with her body shape, was a nerd, and should sort it out. Well, it took years of love and care (yep, the best recipe for most illnesses), and she is now a successful businesswoman. But nobody understood at the time. But it is ignorance, not lack of sympathy. Unless you have experience a mental illness, you cannot imagine it.

Some general education is needed amongst everyone. Especially teachers and lecturers (I am one).

I hope you get the right support. Stick up for your family. You sould a brilliant young woman.

Margaret
 

Bristolbelle

Registered User
Aug 18, 2006
1,847
0
Bristol
lauren....

.. my son has a chronic pain condition. While he was at school he even spent several months in a wheelchair. he kind off found a few good ideas to help him and I think the best one was that HE went to the head teacher. He planned what he wanted to say, and acted very maturely making points and stating incidents that had been previously reported etc. What I'm saying Lauren is maybe knowing you Dad is behind you you could speak to the headteacher. Dad can say what he thinks is wrong etc, but you are the only one that knows exactly how it makes you feel. You say you know there are other young carers in your school, perhaps you could suggest to the headteacher that you be allowed to hold an assembly on what it's like to be a young carer. I'm sure there are more than one teacher or fellow pupil that would learn something from this. You are an impressively literate,well composed young lady, and dare I say a credit to your parents and your school.
 

Skye

Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
17,000
0
SW Scotland
Margaret W said:
No. no, let us not all get carried away with slating teachers or whatever.

Margaret, no-one is slating teachers! I am a teacher, as are others who have responded to this thread.

This one teacher has acted unprofessionally, and caused immense pain to a vulnerable pupil. This was pointed out to her, whereupon she compounded the fault by publicly humiliating the pupil.

This is not professional conduct, and I think it should be reported before the situation escalates.
 

xx.lauren.xx

Registered User
Sep 22, 2007
27
0
england
thanks again

thank you again for the lovely support. my mum has seen all the lovely replies to my post so we will print them off for my dad as like you say it might be useful to have them when he speaks to the teacher. However, i do agree that i should say something myself, i will speak to my form tutor as i think she is probably the best person to explain to and i can make a plan from there! my drama teacher is a very good teacher and of course, i am not criticisicing her teaching- just that i think this was very insensitive about this and i think if she could understaind a little more about caring it would help her not to react the same way in the future. my dad is going to speak to her on monday and i will speak to my form tutor as she is very approachable and will maybe be able to explain the situation better to my teacher than i can as she already appears very angry with me for my dads complaint. Buti totallty agree that it will help if i can explain the situation and i how i feel as well as my dad speaking on behalf of me.
Thank you again for your great support
hope you are all well
love
lauren xxxx
 

Skye

Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
17,000
0
SW Scotland
Best of luck for Monday, Lauren. I hope you can get through to people just how painful this is for you.

Let us know how it goes.

Love,
 

Brucie

Registered User
Jan 31, 2004
12,413
0
near London
Hi Lauren

a couple of things occur to me which may be totally irrelevant, but I'll write them anyway.... :)

Firstly, the teacher.

As everyone has agreed, this is bad, unprofessional behaviour, and there is no excuse for it.

It seems to me that the teacher may be struggling with their job - only just able to do the show if everything goes absolutely smoothly, but panics if they have to think on their feet. As I say, no excuse, but there may be more to it than anyone realises. The teacher should be professional enough to realise when they can't cope, and shouting in a class is a clear case of that.

Secondly, the teacher....

This won't be easy. For anyone.

In talking to the head teacher why not suggest that the drama teacher in question visits a dementia home to experience the condition fleetingly, so as better to understand the challenges for families?

Good luck for Monday! :)
 

Margaret W

Registered User
Apr 28, 2007
3,720
0
North Derbyshire
Hi Lauren, I hope you managed to sort out your problem.

I'm a University lecturer, and until I discovered dementia I did not have a clue what it entailed. It is quite likely that the teachers at your school do not have a clue either. Don't be too hard on them, cos they probably haven't been trained or have any idea.

It is the same with lots of life issues. I have a daughter who is Bulimic. If I hadn't got that experience, I probably wouldn't be sympathetic to students with Bulimia.

I have another daughter with a police record. If I hadn't got that experience, I wouldn't be sympathetic to students in that situation.

Your tutors can't be expected to have experienced every situation in life. Perhaps (and you sound a very mature young lady), you can suggest to your school that you give a talk to staff on the effects on a family with a member with Alzheimers. Plan your talk, do some overhead slides. it will go down brilliantly on your school record, and it is something that perhaps lots of your fellow students will have some idea about.

If you want some help in doing that, let me know, I would be glad to help out.

Gee, you are such a nice young woman. Keep smiling.

Regards

Margaret
 

Brucie

Registered User
Jan 31, 2004
12,413
0
near London
Margaret W said:
Your tutors can't be expected to have experienced every situation in life. Perhaps (and you sound a very mature young lady), you can suggest to your school that you give a talk to staff on the effects on a family with a member with Alzheimers. Plan your talk, do some overhead slides. it will go down brilliantly on your school record, and it is something that perhaps lots of your fellow students will have some idea about.
That is such a good idea, if you felt you could do it, and if the school would permit it.

Besides anything else it would also give you a huge boost of confidence and would surely stand you in good stead for the future.

... but only if you would feel able to do it.
 

Nell

Registered User
Aug 9, 2005
1,170
0
72
Australia
[QUOTE=Skye]Margaret, no-one is slating teachers! I am a teacher, as are others who have responded to this thread.

This one teacher has acted unprofessionally, and caused immense pain to a vulnerable pupil. This was pointed out to her, whereupon she compounded the fault by publicly humiliating the pupil.

This is not professional conduct, and I think it should be reported before the situation escalates.[/QUOTE]


Hear Hear Hazel!

Margaret dear, reread the posts that concern you and you will find that the only ones "slating" teachers are teachers themselves!!

I am a teacher of over 35 years experience. I've worked (literally) with people aged from birth to very old age, and many of these people have been people with a disability or people who are chronically or terminally ill.

I have developed a fine appreciation of how much the general public needs to be educated in all these areas and in this regard, I totally agree with you.

However, my professionalism (and that of all teachers) is called into question when one of our profession behaves in the way this person has done. I cannot allow this to happen without stating very clearly that I am totally appalled at this behaviour.

Nor would I want Lauren (or any young Carer) to think that other teachers might condone (even if only by saying nothing) what this teacher has done.


I totally agree with you that the cause of this behaviour is ignorance, but in a case like this where someone has power over someone else, it is VERY important IMHO to act on the situation immediately. Lauren's Dad tried to inform this person (thus removing the ignorance barrier) but because of this person's own personality, she failed to see it as information and took it as a challenge (or even a threat :confused: ).

Now it is time for this teacher to be brought to account for her actions. I know from your previous posts that you and I seem to have a similar philosophy about education and about young people, so I'm sure you will agree with me when I say that behaviour of this sort towards young people who are our students is simply not acceptable.

(On a lighter note, I just re-read my post and saw I had accidentally typed that I had been teaching for "over 325 years" - fortunately, it only feels like that!!! :D )
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
81,452
0
Kent
I have never understood why people accept a difficulty can only be appreciated if it has been experienced.

Are we not intelligent enough to know about different conditions, and have some idea of the distress they cause, without having to have first hand knowledge of them.

I would certainly expect those in the `caring` professions to seek out information about conditions, that might affect the lives of those they come into contact with, before making judgements.
 

xx.lauren.xx

Registered User
Sep 22, 2007
27
0
england
thanks again

hiya
thank you all so much for your help, i am going to print off all the responses in a minute, my dad is telephoning the teacher concerned tomorrow in an attempt to explain quietly and sensibly the situationt hat has been created and the upset caused. we are hoping that bringing this to her attention in this way might help her handle this situation better in the future. I hope to speak to her about it afterwards, but i think its better for my dad to speak first and then i can make an appointment to explain how i feel about it too. If this failst to work my dad says he will make an apointment and discuss all with the head, hopefully though after some explaination all this can be ironed out.
Thank you so much for your support , we really apprechiate it
lots of luv
lauren xxxx ps. hope you are all well ! and im very impressed about the 325 years of teaching nell! hehe
 

Skye

Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
17,000
0
SW Scotland
xx.lauren.xx said:
and im very impressed about the 325 years of teaching nell! hehe

Nell? sounds more like hell to me!:D

Seriously, good luck tomorrow, Lauren. Let us know how it goes.

Love,
 

Margaret W

Registered User
Apr 28, 2007
3,720
0
North Derbyshire
I haven't got to grips yet with how to view all posts, I just stated my views that not everyone appreciates things that they haven't personally experienced. Yes, as teachers, maybe we should, but life aint like that. Please don't all shout at me for not reading all the posts. And I just wanted to stand up for teachers (and indeed any other professionals or even anyone at all), who doesn't understand the whole of what chucks at you. This was meant in kindness not in criticism.

Anyway, the most important point is that I just hope this brave and incredibly sensitive young lady gets the support she needs and deserves.

Good luck.

Margaret
 

Nell

Registered User
Aug 9, 2005
1,170
0
72
Australia
Margaret W said:
Anyway, the most important point is that I just hope this brave and incredibly sensitive young lady gets the support she needs and deserves.

Hear Hear! Well said Margaret!
 

xx.lauren.xx

Registered User
Sep 22, 2007
27
0
england
update

hiya, thank you for your support again- dont worry about not reading all the posts Margaret - i thought i had mastered how to use the site then locked myself out and had to make a new username!! thank you for your support though- very much apprechiated.
On monday my dad phoned the school and the teacher had quite an arguement with him about how our group would no longer be doing shows because of all the criticism she had recieved and that in future we would not be included unless we are sure we could always attend. My dad came home and said he thought she was very rude to him and that she now had got the wrong end of the stick- i never suggested that i didnt want to be involved in the shows- i love taking part, just that with my uncle i needed to be told asap when they were so we could rearrange times with him. I know she doesnt understand much about dementia so today i went to speak to my form tutor who was very understanding and said she would pass on my thoughts to the teacher involved and hopefully arrange a time that i could go and speak to her myself and explain a little bit more about how we cant jsut 'rearrange' as she previously suggested as my uncle cannot cope without regular help and support.
I dont want this to end in a big arguement, so i hope that my form tutor can arrange some time for me to speak to the teacher involved so i can explain the situation she will understand that i do want to be involved in shows but just that i need a little bit extra notice so we can arrange with my uncle.
My form tutor is going to get back to me asap so hopefully we can get this sorted out- im glad i have told her though because i know now that at least she understands the situation and can help me explain it to my drama teacher.
hope you are all well
love
lauren xxxxx
 

Brucie

Registered User
Jan 31, 2004
12,413
0
near London
Hi Lauren,

thanks for your update.

well done - if you do talk to the errant teacher, please take along if possible your form teacher, or another person.

Don't try to explain on your own as the teacher is clearly not entirely capable and they would be unpredictable and on the defensive. A third party would keep the meeting on an even keel.
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
81,452
0
Kent
Lauren, I think Bruce has made a very important point about you having a third party with you, like your form teacher, when you meet with your drama teacher.
Please take note of what he says.
Love xx
 

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