I had one spectacular argument with my mother after she went into the CH. She could not in the least understand why she needed to be there and was angry and resentful, accusing us all of just being after her money, she was cutting us all out of her will, etc.
I knew it would do no good, she would not believe any of it, nor would she ever remember any of it, but I had that one major rant at her - she could no longer even make herself a cup of tea! She had Alzheimer's! She couldn't remember anything for more than ten seconds! If we hadn't found this nice place for her, social services would have taken over and put her in some ghastly place smelling of wee! As for being after her money, had she any idea of how much this place cost? If we'd all been after her money we'd just have left her in squalor at home! Etc.
I suppose I would not have done it, and it WAS just the once, if I had not known that she would not remember any of it and be even more upset than she already was. It was such a difficult time, and it was so hard and upsetting to be accused of all sorts of awful things when we had done our damnedest to keep her at home and had put the decision off too long anyway. In some small way I suppose it did relieve my feelings at a very stressful time.