My beautiful mum

MOJO59

Registered User
Apr 8, 2014
17
0
North Somerset
My beautiful mum passed away on Monday and I feel lost! Dementia took hold of my mum suddenly two and a half years ago. Although so difficult at times to understand why this had to happen-I gradually came to terms with it. My mum was so full of life before and she was my inspiration for many things and I would always asked her for advice as she was so wise. Over the past two weeks my mum had deteriorated and I was told her body was shutting down. I sat at my mum's bedside in the care home she was in holding her hand and stroking her face telling her how much I loved her. My mum slipped away peacefully on Monday afternoon. I know she is at peace now and not suffering any longer-but I feel like part of me has also died. My mum was my best friend and a wonderful mother.
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
73,996
0
72
Dundee
I'm so sorry to read your news Mojo. I'm so glad though that you were able to be with your mum and hold her hand.

Sending my condolences and wishing you strength for the future. x
 

Lancshiker

Registered User
Apr 17, 2013
87
0
My beautiful mum passed away on Monday and I feel lost! Dementia took hold of my mum suddenly two and a half years ago. Although so difficult at times to understand why this had to happen-I gradually came to terms with it. My mum was so full of life before and she was my inspiration for many things and I would always asked her for advice as she was so wise. Over the past two weeks my mum had deteriorated and I was told her body was shutting down. I sat at my mum's bedside in the care home she was in holding her hand and stroking her face telling her how much I loved her. My mum slipped away peacefully on Monday afternoon. I know she is at peace now and not suffering any longer-but I feel like part of me has also died. My mum was my best friend and a wonderful mother.

I'm so very sorry. My dad passed away last night and I feel lost too. I couldn't think about how he was before he got dementia because it would have made visiting him too hard but now I can and it's half being devastated about what happened to him and the unfairness that everyone with a relative with this awful disease feels and half feeling glad that I can finally think about him as a whole person and can reflect the wonderful person he was to myself at last after so long.

I feel that your being there at the end must have been a great comfort for both of you. She sounds like a wonderful, caring, sensible lady. You have to remember though that a big part of that lives on in you and, at this terrible time, to try and take as many positives as you can. It sounds like that's what your Mum would have wanted.

Very best wishes and sympathies.

Liz
 

elizabet

Registered User
Mar 26, 2013
224
0
Southampton
Watching your once active and alert parent deteriorate with dementia is terrible to say the least and is like a bereavement. When they die it is heart breaking, so it is understandable you feel lost, numb and devastated so soon after their departure. From the experience of the death of my Mother 8 months ago you will experience a multitude of emotions over the next months which is quite natural and you need to grieve for your loss. Cry, let your feelings out, be kind to yourself and celebrate all the good memories you have of your parent. Part of them lies in you and life goes on.
8 months down the line the pain of loss is gradually diminishing but the memories of my Mum are still strong and I will always remember her.
Sending you sympathy.
 

Dustycat

Registered User
Jul 14, 2014
215
0
North East
I lost my Mam 3 months ago. I am an only child and my Dad also has dementia and I feel I have no one to share my grief with although I do have a wonderful husband. I miss her every day particularly nit being able to ring her and her motherly advice and instinct. I had a cold recently and blared my eyes out as I felt no one cared as my mam would have been round to look after me or would have called me to ask how I was.

So sorry for your loss. It's hard when all we have left is memories. Take care. Xx
 

MOJO59

Registered User
Apr 8, 2014
17
0
North Somerset
I'm so very sorry. My dad passed away last night and I feel lost too. I couldn't think about how he was before he got dementia because it would have made visiting him too hard but now I can and it's half being devastated about what happened to him and the unfairness that everyone with a relative with this awful disease feels and half feeling glad that I can finally think about him as a whole person and can reflect the wonderful person he was to myself at last after so long.

I feel that your being there at the end must have been a great comfort for both of you. She sounds like a wonderful, caring, sensible lady. You have to remember though that a big part of that lives on in you and, at this terrible time, to try and take as many positives as you can. It sounds like that's what your Mum would have wanted.

Very best wishes and sympathies.

Liz
Thank you Liz for your kind words. Like you I found it so difficult to visit mum and couldn't understand why this had to happen. My mum and your dad are no longer suffering and can rest in peace. We must celebrate their lives with the love they both deserve!!

My very best wishes to you and may you find strength in the future x
 

MOJO59

Registered User
Apr 8, 2014
17
0
North Somerset
I lost my Mam 3 months ago. I am an only child and my Dad also has dementia and I feel I have no one to share my grief with although I do have a wonderful husband. I miss her every day particularly nit being able to ring her and her motherly advice and instinct. I had a cold recently and blared my eyes out as I felt no one cared as my mam would have been round to look after me or would have called me to ask how I was.

So sorry for your loss. It's hard when all we have left is memories. Take care. Xx
Thank you for your kind words.
I am not an only child-I am one of four-but have not had any support or contact since my mother's illness began two and half years ago. Like you I have a wonderful husband and a very caring son who lives in NZ. It's only been two days since mum passed away and already I'm lost not being able to visit her-even though at times I found it difficult. At this moment I can't believe I won't see her again-I loved her so very much!!
I know what its like to feel alone and am sending my very best wishes to you. We must think of the good times!! Take care xx
 

Redpoppy

Registered User
Jul 31, 2012
268
0
Glamorgan s.wales
I lost my Mam 3 months ago. I am an only child and my Dad also has dementia and I feel I have no one to share my grief with although I do have a wonderful husband. I miss her every day particularly nit being able to ring her and her motherly advice and instinct. I had a cold recently and blared my eyes out as I felt no one cared as my mam would have been round to look after me or would have called me to ask how I was.

So sorry for your loss. It's hard when all we have left is memories. Take care. Xx

I am also an only child and had exactly the same feelings after my mother died(my father died 10yrs previously). Ridiculous at the age of 45yrs I know,but I felt I was an orphan,and although I have a good husband and 3 daughters, that couldn't lessen the emptiness I felt of being "on my own " My mother and I were also good friends and we discussed so many things together,and helped each other whenever we needed to
However that was a long time ago,and I now have the same relationship with my daughters. Life goes on and time WILL help. I hope after a while you will feel better,and enjoy looking back on the good times you had with your mother-it's what she would have wanted for you.
 

MOJO59

Registered User
Apr 8, 2014
17
0
North Somerset
Watching your once active and alert parent deteriorate with dementia is terrible to say the least and is like a bereavement. When they die it is heart breaking, so it is understandable you feel lost, numb and devastated so soon after their departure. From the experience of the death of my Mother 8 months ago you will experience a multitude of emotions over the next months which is quite natural and you need to grieve for your loss. Cry, let your feelings out, be kind to yourself and celebrate all the good memories you have of your parent. Part of them lies in you and life goes on.
8 months down the line the pain of loss is gradually diminishing but the memories of my Mum are still strong and I will always remember her.
Sending you sympathy.

Thank you for your lovely message. Everything you have written is so true!!
Our memories of our mother's will always be in our hearts and live on forever. x
 

MOJO59

Registered User
Apr 8, 2014
17
0
North Somerset
I am also an only child and had exactly the same feelings after my mother died(my father died 10yrs previously). Ridiculous at the age of 45yrs I know,but I felt I was an orphan,and although I have a good husband and 3 daughters, that couldn't lessen the emptiness I felt of being "on my own " My mother and I were also good friends and we discussed so many things together,and helped each other whenever we needed to
However that was a long time ago,and I now have the same relationship with my daughters. Life goes on and time WILL help. I hope after a while you will feel better,and enjoy looking back on the good times you had with your mother-it's what she would have wanted for you.

Thank you for your kind message. I am 60yrs old next month and although I have an older brother and sister neither of them have had any contact with mum for many years. I never knew my father-so like you I feel like an orphan. I have a wonderful husband-a very caring son who lives in NZ and lots of good friends. I know they say-time heals-but it's going to be a long time for me-as I feel like I've lost my mum and dad together-if that makes any sense? I know mum is in a better place now and that helps.
 

elizabet

Registered User
Mar 26, 2013
224
0
Southampton
It also hit me that I was an orphan at 61. I am an only child and have just one male cousin left of my side of the family. I miss being able to chat with my Mum by phone , although as her short term memory worsened this was more difficult. I miss the special bond I had with my Mum. I am married and have a son but the mother/ daughter relationship is so special.
 

Grandma Joan

Registered User
Mar 29, 2013
276
0
Wiltshire
You will be feeling incredible sadness. I found it quite overwhelming. A person so dependent on you suddenly gone.

My condolences and thoughts are with you.

It is no comfort now but it will get easier I promise you x
 

handyjack

Registered User
Oct 6, 2011
151
0
Sad to hear of your loss. Believe me, Time as they say, is a great healer. Working in a nursing home, I see death all too often. Only a few weeks ago we lost my favourite resident and I'm still grieving. A grand old lady I had come to know so well for just over 2 yrs and who quickly became my favourite. Her loss has actually made me question whether to carry on in my role as a health care assistant ( a hard decision to make too)
 

Thrippy

Registered User
Mar 12, 2014
34
0
Sorry to hear about your wonderful mum. My mum died 5 months ago and her dementia came on quickly also, esp the last few months. She only really had it about 2 years from start to finish. The first few weeks are the worst but they are busy; telling people, funeral arrangements, sorting out finances & belongings etc. And they go so quickly.
Next week will be/would have been mums birthday & I have the day off work but I don't really know what, if anything, to do for the day.
My mum was also very wise, and clever, she went back to college in her 50s and 60s to do A levels in English Lit, Lang, Politics, History, Sociology, Psychology. So sad to see someone lose their mighty brain in that way.
 

VickyG

Registered User
Feb 6, 2013
327
0
Birmingham
My thoughts are with you

My beautiful mum passed away on Monday and I feel lost! Dementia took hold of my mum suddenly two and a half years ago. Although so difficult at times to understand why this had to happen-I gradually came to terms with it. My mum was so full of life before and she was my inspiration for many things and I would always asked her for advice as she was so wise. Over the past two weeks my mum had deteriorated and I was told her body was shutting down. I sat at my mum's bedside in the care home she was in holding her hand and stroking her face telling her how much I loved her. My mum slipped away peacefully on Monday afternoon. I know she is at peace now and not suffering any longer-but I feel like part of me has also died. My mum was my best friend and a wonderful mother.
Hi MOJO59,
I'm very sorry to hear you have lost your mum to this dreadful disease. I'm glad you were able to spend time with her, and that she slipped away peacefully. My mum passed away on the 1st, so just over 3 weeks ago. I feel so lost without her.

Take care,
Vicky x
 

VickyG

Registered User
Feb 6, 2013
327
0
Birmingham
My thoughts are with you

I'm so very sorry. My dad passed away last night and I feel lost too. I couldn't think about how he was before he got dementia because it would have made visiting him too hard but now I can and it's half being devastated about what happened to him and the unfairness that everyone with a relative with this awful disease feels and half feeling glad that I can finally think about him as a whole person and can reflect the wonderful person he was to myself at last after so long.

I feel that your being there at the end must have been a great comfort for both of you. She sounds like a wonderful, caring, sensible lady. You have to remember though that a big part of that lives on in you and, at this terrible time, to try and take as many positives as you can. It sounds like that's what your Mum would have wanted.

Very best wishes and sympathies.

Liz

Hi Liz
Sorry to hear of your dad's passing, it's horrible isn't it, I lost my mum on the 1st, just over 3 weeks ago. My thoughts are with you.
Take care now,
Vicky x
 

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