Someone to listen

[Jase]

Hi everyone,

I haven't posted on here for years but have read lots and come back tonight because I need friendly support.

My wonderful mum was diagnosed with early onset vascular dementia when she was 58 (7 years ago). She has been in a care home for the past nearly 3 years and has recently deteriorated to become continuing healthcare funded.

Over the past 2 weeks her condition has deteriorated so much that she is now in bed all the time. Eating and drinking only small amounts.

Yesterday I had the GP out because her respirations reduced to 4-7 per minute and her oxygen saturations were down at 85%. The GP has explained that her brain is not telling her to breathe so she is now being kept comfortable with midazolam.

Throughout the 7+ years of this illness we have constantly experienced loss to a point where I thought there was little left. As it stands this evening I acknowledge how wrong I was ...................

Thank you for listening xxx

 

[CollegeGirl]

Hello Jase and welcome back, although I don't think we've 'spoken' before.

I'm so sorry you find yourself in this situation with your poor mum. I think this is the cruellest of diseases and although we haven't reached this stage with my mam, it's something I absolutely dread, so my heart goes out to you.

I have no wise words but couldn't read your post and run; be assured that I am thinking of you and I know that others will be along shortly with their thoughts, which I hope will be a comfort to you.

Hang on in there.

 

[Sue J]

Hello Jase

I have heard you and am so sorry for your Mum's suffering, and yours. I hope that the midazolam is helping and your Mum is comfortable.

Thinking of you and glad you have come back here where people understand and will support you.
Love
Sue

 

[TracyR]

Hi,

So sorry to hear of your sad situation. I am in a similar position myself. Its such a difficult time isn't it . I often think that we have reached the "worst point" of the illness and then things get even worse.
Be strong and take each day as it comes.

Hi everyone,

I haven't posted on here for years but have read lots and come back tonight because I need friendly support.

My wonderful mum was diagnosed with early onset vascular dementia when she was 58 (7 years ago). She has been in a care home for the past nearly 3 years and has recently deteriorated to become continuing healthcare funded.

Over the past 2 weeks her condition has deteriorated so much that she is now in bed all the time. Eating and drinking only small amounts.

Yesterday I had the GP out because her respirations reduced to 4-7 per minute and her oxygen saturations were down at 85%. The GP has explained that her brain is not telling her to breathe so she is now being kept comfortable with midazolam.

Throughout the 7+ years of this illness we have constantly experienced loss to a point where I thought there was little left. As it stands this evening I acknowledge how wrong I was ...................

Thank you for listening xxx

 

[Jase]

Thank you for your replies.

Mum has now had a syringe driver put in to try and make her more comfortable. It is heartbreaking as she looks tortured at times. Even when she is quiet there are tears rolling down her face.

Tracy- it is so awful isn't it. Hope you're doing as well as you can be. Hugs xxx

 

[Jase]

Well things got even worse which I didn't think was possible!

Mum now has very high doses of meds in her syringe driver and is unconscious.

I am struggling with guilt- have I speeded the process up, if the drugs were reduced would she improve, could I do more etc etc

Xx

 

[blandford516]

Hi Jase,

I am sorry that you are feeling guilty , it sounds like you have always loved and cared for your mum and done your best . Please don't feel guilty ,I am thinking of you and as many on here understand how you are feeling .We are going through the same thing . You are not alone let us know how you are doing . x

 

[ritchie]

Hi Jase
please don't feel guilty, you have done the best you can for your mam in such a difficult time, like we all have when we're faced with these heartbreaking decisions.
My thoughts are with you for the time ahead, take care X

 

[Jase]

Thank you to all who have posted.

My wonderful beautiful mum passed away this evening aged 65.
RIP mum, sleep well, I love you xxxxx

 

[jeany123]

Please accept my sympathy,

I'm sorry to hear about your mum,


Jeany xx

 

[Pigeon11]

Sorry to hear about our Mum's passing Jase. Deepest sympathy x

 

[stanleypj]

So sorry to hear your sad news Jase. I've only just come across this thread and your great love for your mum shines through.

I'm certain you and the medics did everything they could for her.

 

[Izzy]

Jase I'm so sorry to read the news about your mum. Sending my sympathy and condolences. I wish you strength for the days to come. x

 

[Sue J]

Jase I am sorry to read of your Mum's passing. You were there for her in her suffering and now that is over, take care of yourself.xx

 

[Blogg]

I'm so sorry for you loss (())

 

[jaymor]

Bless you Jase and wishing you strength for the days and weeks to come. Mum is no longer suffering,

Jay

 

[2197alexandra]

Hugs Jase, mum is at peace. x

 

[CareGiver-1]

Thank you to all who have posted.

My wonderful beautiful mum passed away this evening aged 65.
RIP mum, sleep well, I love you xxxxx

So sorry to hear of your mother's passing.

 

[LYN T]

Hi Jase

How very, very sad. Your Mum was so young-but her passing has ended her suffering

Please try to find time to look after yourself and grieve

You are in my thoughts

Love from

Lyn T XX

 

[Jase]

Thank you for your kind words everyone

Kirsty xx