"Lost" valuables

[Just thinking]

Anyone know what redress there is when items go missing in a care home?
It seems to me there isn't any as they cover themselves with 'get out' clauses in the original contract.

Something of great sentimental value has disappeared and now all we have is apologies from the home. Surely they have to bear some responsibility given that their clients with AD can't protect their belongings themselves?

We don't know if it's worth making a police report in case there's anything underhand going on.

 

[Sue J]

Anyone know what redress there is when items go missing in a care home?
It seems to me there isn't any as they cover themselves with 'get out' clauses in the original contract.

Something of great sentimental value has disappeared and now all we have is apologies from the home. Surely they have to bear some responsibility given that their clients with AD can't protect their belongings themselves?

We don't know if it's worth making a police report in case there's anything underhand going on.

If something is lost it has gone somewhere, however it was lost. If you file a police report it registers that something of such value is 'lost', if it is later found they know who it belongs to. I guess it depends on the contract re. any redress but registering it may make you feel better about it. Sorry something of such value has gone missing

 

[jenniferpa]

The truth is, when it comes to care homes, often full of very confused people, who have no idea what is or is not their property, and who may well actually throw their own possessions away (or my mother's favourite trick: wrap something in tissue paper which then gets thrown away) it's very unwise to have anything of any value (sentimental or otherwise) there. I'm sorry if this sounds unsympathetic, because I am very sorry you have had this loss, but it's the reality of the situation.

However, this doesn't mean you shouldn't report it to the police. I doubt they will actually do anything, but if you don't ask, you don't get. And if there is anything nefarious going on, at least you've contributed to the paper trail.

 

[cragmaid]

When Mum's engagement ring went missing there was a great upheaval and thankfully it was found, but the manager had the phone in her hand ready to call the police so that at least we had a police report number in case we had insurance. I took the ring home there and then and was going to buy Mum a zircon copy, but she now never misses it so I didn't bother.

 

[jaymor]

Because the residents of care homes cannot protect their possessions it would be better that valuables are not left.

Dementia patients will hide things, my husband was a master at this, wrap things up and throw them away and other residents will pick things up. As relatives I think we have to take responsibility and accept that this may happen so best not to leave anything of value.

My husband has lost so much weight since he was diagnosed 9 years ago that his wedding ring is now too big for him. As much as I hated removing it I did, it now is on a chain around my neck, much safer there than in the nursing home where it could come off and be lost.

 

[Just thinking]

The truth is, when it comes to care homes, often full of very confused people, who have no idea what is or is not their property, and who may well actually throw their own possessions away (or my mother's favourite trick: wrap something in tissue paper which then gets thrown away) it's very unwise to have anything of any value (sentimental or otherwise) there. I'm sorry if this sounds unsympathetic, because I am very sorry you have had this loss, but it's the reality of the situation.

However, this doesn't mean you shouldn't report it to the police. I doubt they will actually do anything, but if you don't ask, you don't get. And if there is anything nefarious going on, at least you've contributed to the paper trail.

I agree with what you say re confused people etc but in this case my relative is chair/bed bound and totally reliant on staff so I can't see how these items 'have wandered' unseen. I'm also aware of the wrapping in tissue syndrome but surely, if you and I understand this, then suposedly trained staff ought to as well and make simple checks before disposing of anything?

I'm truly heartbroken and sadly have to agree that seeking police help won't soothe me or solve the problem and that once again we're letting down our most vulnerable.

 

[Just thinking]

If something is lost it has gone somewhere, however it was lost. If you file a police report it registers that something of such value is 'lost', if it is later found they know who it belongs to. I guess it depends on the contract re. any redress but registering it may make you feel better about it. Sorry something of such value has gone missing

That's my feeling, that lost items have to be somewhere.

 

[jenniferpa]

Unless your relative is locked in their room (I very much hope not) there's nothing to stop other residents wandering and removing things I'm afraid. This I have seen.

 

[Just thinking]

Because the residents of care homes cannot protect their possessions it would be better that valuables are not left.

Dementia patients will hide things, my husband was a master at this, wrap things up and throw them away and other residents will pick things up. As relatives I think we have to take responsibility and accept that this may happen so best not to leave anything of value.

My husband has lost so much weight since he was diagnosed 9 years ago that his wedding ring is now too big for him. As much as I hated removing it I did, it now is on a chain around my neck, much safer there than in the nursing home.

Trouble is, everything goes missing. Clothing, sweets, toiletries etc etc and this is just the final straw.
Perhaps you're right and I should have had the same aforesight as you but I believed there was enough 'loss' in her life already. Thanks for your thoughts though.

 

[Just thinking]

Unless your relative is locked in their room (I very much hope not) there's nothing to stop other residents wandering and removing things I'm afraid. This I have seen.

I've seen that too in an earlier home where residents were still mobile. However, in this home the mobile residents are housed separately from those who are chair bound and who no longer interact with each other. That's why I can't understand what's happened.

 

[Canadian Joanne]

When my mother was mobile, she would wander around and collect things. Conversely, things would disappear from her room. We didn't have anything valuable in her rooms, just photos, a few framed pictures and a couple of knick knacks. At some point, her Italian leather purse, which up till then she had hung onto for dear life, disappeared. A couple of inexpensive watches disappeared.

I don't know if Mum lost these things, gave them away or if another resident wandered in and took them. I just made sure that we would be able to live with the things she had disappearing.

I really don't think the staff stole anything. Clothing goes missing now and again. What I think happens is that it accidently ends up in someone else's closet, shoved in the back and when the person dies, the family gets rid of everything without necessarily looking very carefully. After all, when you've just lose someone, why would you pay attention to every sweater and pair of socks?

However, in this home the mobile residents are housed separately from those who are chair bound and who no longer interact with each other.

I wouldn't put it past a mobile resident to get around. My mother certainly did.

 

[Pickles53]

Mum has just moved into a care home. They asked us to complete a detailed inventory list of her clothes etc. and everything is named. But I accept that some things will go walkabout and compared to the many advantages of her being there will try not to stress too much. At home it was a constant treasure hunt for one thing or another and some things we never found, so I don't blame the staff.

Mum said something the other day about giving me her rings but I also feel at the moment I don't want to take anything else away from her.

 

[cragmaid]

Pickles, How distressed would Mum be if she "lost" her rings? If the answer is "very" then next time she offers, take them home. My Mum has lost so much weight that if she shook her hands her rings would slide off her fingers. I have left her wedding ring and eternity ring with her....the wedding ring because she wanted it and the eternity ring because she wanted some "jewellry" and although valuable, she is not particularly sentimental about it.
She still wears her cross and chain, but one of the volunteers showed me how to knot the chain around the cross first( around the hanger ring )before fastening it around her neck, so that when Mum was taking it off, she couldn't let it slide off the chain and vanish into oblivion.

 

[WILLIAMR]

We took my step mother's rings home to avoid them going missing. We knew things went missing in the hospital.
When we visited her we found a radio, ornaments, clothes, and other items in the room which did not belong to her.
Another resident tried to give me a box of chocolates and got aggressive when I would not take them.
To resolve the situation I took 1 and eat it in front of him and handed the rest to the nurse.
On the day my step mother died we found her eating a box of chocolates from Switzerland which was a gift to another resident.
We obviously could not replace them.
All we could do is get another nice box of chocolates available locally.

William

 

[Pickles53]

Pickles, How distressed would Mum be if she "lost" her rings? If the answer is "very" then next time she offers, take them home. My Mum has lost so much weight that if she shook her hands her rings would slide off her fingers. I have left her wedding ring and eternity ring with her....the wedding ring because she wanted it and the eternity ring because she wanted some "jewellry" and although valuable, she is not particularly sentimental about it.
She still wears her cross and chain, but one of the volunteers showed me how to knot the chain around the cross first( around the hanger ring )before fastening it around her neck, so that when Mum was taking it off, she couldn't let it slide off the chain and vanish into oblivion.

The honest answer is I don't know . She says completely opposite things from one day to the next but you are right that her rings are looser now than before. Maybe if she asks again I should take them and see what happens.

 

[fr0d0]

I think homes should give that warning to prospective residents families. We made an inventory of some expensive decorative plates which was worthless when the home said that my mom must have hidden them somewhere. It just lead to bad feeling.

 

[Just thinking]

I think homes should give that warning to prospective residents families. We made an inventory of some expensive decorative plates which was worthless when the home said that my mom must have hidden them somewhere. It just lead to bad feeling.

I totally agree with that as they're the people who understand these things when we, on the whole, have no clue. I also agree that it leads to bad feeling and an awkwardness after such an event.

 

[jaymor]

I think we have to accept that the staff are in the care home to take responsibility for the care and welfare if our loved ones not their bits and bobs they have taken into the home.

Hopefully this thread will bring to the attention of anyone about to use a care home that things will disappear, be broken or even be given away so to be careful as to what you leave.

 

[Wirralson]

Things going missing

Things do go missing. As pointed out you have dementia sufferers giving things away or not recognising them as their own. Laundries weren't good at sorting named items, and care workers often were more concerned to get staffed dressed in anything rather than trying to make sure they wore their own clothes.

Also as one of the staff in my mother's nursing home put it, "It's klepto city here". A large number of people (including visitors) knew the entry and exit codes for the numerical keypads. There was scope for some theft even if staff were vigilant. So the moral is don;t leave anything of real or sentimental value in a nursing/care home.

W

 

[ellejay]

I would just say that if the staff had to go through every screwed up piece of tissue in my mums cupboards & drawers, they wouldn't have time for anything else as mum saves mountains of the stuff.

Her rings have gone missing over time, it's a shame, but she doesn't miss them & isn't upset by their loss.

She doesn't have anything in her room that can't be easily replaced, it's one less thing to worry about

Lin x