Dear all, Im hoping to I suppose gain some support and advice here as Im sure you know its not everyone you can talk to about losing a loved one to Alzheimer.
My dad went into a nursing home 6 weeks ago. While he was probably at the later stages, he was mobile and would eat albeit it not a lot. He reacted very badly to the nursing home even though we visited every day and spent long periods of time with him but he wanted to go home to my mum who was unable to cope even with what support i could give. He is now not mobile and refusing food and drink to the point that they have told us he is at the end of life stage. My mum cries continuously because she feels she triggered this by putting him in a home as do I , I feel I should have done more despite having 4 of my children to care for and many times they were sidelined. We are with him practically all the time now at this point of his journey and the home are very caring but will this 'guilt' haunt us forever? Will I always feel guilty for not being there sometimes and that I could have done more? And if I had done more he might not have needed to go into care. I will admit sometimes it was so intense and stressful that at times I avoided going to my parents home but that wasnt frequent and mostly i tried to be there for both parents. My poor mum I feel will never get over it. She cared so well for him but ran out of steam and she feels that after all that care he had at home that in the end of his life he was distressed and unhappy. thanks for reading.
My dad went into a nursing home 6 weeks ago. While he was probably at the later stages, he was mobile and would eat albeit it not a lot. He reacted very badly to the nursing home even though we visited every day and spent long periods of time with him but he wanted to go home to my mum who was unable to cope even with what support i could give. He is now not mobile and refusing food and drink to the point that they have told us he is at the end of life stage. My mum cries continuously because she feels she triggered this by putting him in a home as do I , I feel I should have done more despite having 4 of my children to care for and many times they were sidelined. We are with him practically all the time now at this point of his journey and the home are very caring but will this 'guilt' haunt us forever? Will I always feel guilty for not being there sometimes and that I could have done more? And if I had done more he might not have needed to go into care. I will admit sometimes it was so intense and stressful that at times I avoided going to my parents home but that wasnt frequent and mostly i tried to be there for both parents. My poor mum I feel will never get over it. She cared so well for him but ran out of steam and she feels that after all that care he had at home that in the end of his life he was distressed and unhappy. thanks for reading.