Advice please!

[sah]

Lately, OH has been obsessed with collecting bits of paper which he cuts into strips and uses to write himself notes etc....all quite useful, until recently.

This has now-along with collecting any rubbish he finds in the street-become an obsession. I thought he was just going through our bins( including the one in the bathroom-yuck!) but tonight I found him going through the neighbours.

I told him off-explained it was illegal ( or that he could get punched on the nose) and that we had plenty of paper in the house; I have bought him his own pad that he can cut up to his hearts content.

He then went off on one his walks-promised me (!) he wouldn't do this. However-on return, he had hidden loads of paper-envelopes-bank statement- (not ours) letters etc and was going to cut them up later. All the recycling bins are out for collection tomorrow so he could have had a field day!

I told him-again-that this was illegal and he could be arrested-which could lead to him being locked up( thought scare tactics might work...) I also reminded him that he has paper and does not need to do this.

So-do I ring the police and tell them he has dementia and that this is happening? I work and cannot be here to stop him doing this; in fact, I don't think I could when here. In these days of worrying about identity theft, I could understand if people got angry.

Any advice welcome!

 

[Sue J]

Lately, OH has been obsessed with collecting bits of paper which he cuts into strips and uses to write himself notes etc....all quite useful, until recently.

This has now-along with collecting any rubbish he finds in the street-become an obsession. I thought he was just going through our bins( including the one in the bathroom-yuck!) but tonight I found him going through the neighbours.

I told him off-explained it was illegal ( or that he could get punched on the nose) and that we had plenty of paper in the house; I have bought him his own pad that he can cut up to his hearts content.

He then went off on one his walks-promised me (!) he wouldn't do this. However-on return, he had hidden loads of paper-envelopes-bank statement- (not ours) letters etc and was going to cut them up later. All the recycling bins are out for collection tomorrow so he could have had a field day!

I told him-again-that this was illegal and he could be arrested-which could lead to him being locked up( thought scare tactics might work...) I also reminded him that he has paper and does not need to do this.

So-do I ring the police and tell them he has dementia and that this is happening? I work and cannot be here to stop him doing this; in fact, I don't think I could when here. In these days of worrying about identity theft, I could understand if people got angry.

Any advice welcome!

It must be a trait of this flippin disease, I do it - never used to (Cut up envelopes!)Can you save all your own envelopes for him to cut up - a new pad wont work, I doubt. It is something about being resourceful which your OH obviously has been tonight I am amazed people put out bank statements into their rubbish bins

Can you say you must deliver them back if you have the address on them and not too far afield because the people must have realised they shouldn't have put them out for collection?

Get others to save up their envelopes and leave piles around so he wont go looking further afield for more?

Hope you get some other suggestions
Best wishes
Sue

 

[sah]

Thanks Sue J-but we've tried all that.There really is no reason for him to go through bins; I'm an English teacher(he was) and we have a houseful of paper! It's not just envelopes - tags off clothes-cartons from yoghurt pots-it all gets snaffled!

It certainly is an extension of his character when well---gets really cross if I throw anything away( including bent rusty nails from old fence panels...)

He's dipped in a lot of ways lately-this is just a more tangible sign, I think.

God knows what he'll get up to when next term starts and I'm not here...

 

[margaret g]

OMG my husband saves paper and cuts up squares, measures them, draws lines in rediness for suduku. He doesn't do!! I buy paper, pens, pencils, sharpness. Children's scissors, then he hides them, so I keep lots. onf spares!! We have tins full of paper too!!

Sent from my C5303 using Talking Point mobile app

 

[margaret g]

Yes, yoghert pots, any container, I have a check in the garage, anotherhiding place, get rid of some of it, the house is full of hiding places, the loft!!!!!

Sent from my C5303 using Talking Point mobile app

 

[sah]

Well, at least he's not that unusual!

Rang police today and explained-they were lovely. Have taken contact details from me and are aware of situation if they get called out. May have opened can of worms -but feel a little better as i know he'll get understanding from them if anything happens. Phew....

 

[LYN T]

Sah I have sent you a PM

 

[benjie]

Have you thought that this could be something from his past that he needs to do? I read a book by Graham Stokes - "And Still the Music Plays" which gives accounts of various people with their foibles. One in particular I remember was a person gathering stones and putting them into piles in the garden. He then went on t gather them from neighbours gardens, eventually with a big pile. Through going into his past they realised that this was a protection mechanism for his family.

The book is certainly well worth a read.

Benjie

Best of luck

 

[Beate]

Have you thought that this could be something from his past that he needs to do? I read a book by Graham Stokes - "And Still the Music Plays" which gives accounts of various people with their foibles. One in particular I remember was a person gathering stones and putting them into piles in the garden. He then went on t gather them from neighbours gardens, eventually with a big pile. Through going into his past they realised that this was a protection mechanism for his family.

The book is certainly well worth a read.

Benjie

Best of luck

It is indeed, it is a brilliant book, one of my favourites about people with dementia.

 

[Maywalk]

I think you have done a very wise thing there sah with phoning the police.
Make sure that you write the date and time down that you did just to be on the safe side.
If anything does go amiss at least you will have written proof AND you can relate back to this forum.
I say this because many years ago I had a run in with the police and the Home Office got involved. Long story but I was right and had a lovely apology from the head man plus an invite to tea with the Chief Constable.

My hubby has not got to this stage but I can well imagine how concerned you are.
God Bless
Maywalk.

 

[sah]

Thanks Maywalk. I do have a reference number-and have also told the CPN about his recent dip, so am seeing GP for blood/urine tests on Tuesday-will tell them as well so it's on record everywhere!

It's a a minefield isn't it- suppose it beats being bored..(fat chance!)