Healthcare Professionals need Dementia Training!!

[little shettie]

My mum has Az but has always been in complete denial about it. She's gets so angry and upset when its mentioned that for a long time, we have all been treading on egg shells to keep her happy! One of the biggest bug bears is Doctors and other professionals who think its perfectly acceptable to keep mentioning the word dementia in front of her even though she is clearly reacting badly to it! We recently moved mum in with us to a new area and of course this meant new gp surgery. I was dreading it as mum had been at her old gp for years and they knew the ropes with her! I had asked the receptionist to add a note to mum records but she said although they would, it may go unseen by gp/nurse!! We had to see the nurse for the usual health checks and the nurse immediately assumed that mum did not have a voice and was unable to answer questions and was talking about mum to me like she wasn't there, when mum was sitting by my side!! Mum was getting very brisly indeed and It was a very uncomfortable 10 minutes!! I was waiting for the explosion. I had to start including mum in the conversation but sadly the penny did not drop with the nurse!! It was clear this nurse did not understand dementia or have much commonsense to shut up when I'm sitting there making facial expressions and shaking my head!!! Had this many times, its frustrating, upsetting and very stressful!!!

 

[itsmeagain]

This is terribly disappointing to hear.
Nurses will come across dementia and need extensive training, in Gp centres especially.
Your mum objects to people saying she has dementia. Nurses need to show tact, good manners, pick up on cues etc.

 

[lizzybean]

I agree. I recently had a couple of visits to fracture clinic with MIL, I gave consultant a note explaining situation. He was great with her. Second time we went I asked about physio therapy, he blurts out "there's no point with dementia patients" Needless to say I insisted, there is every point if you are going to do it with them. Silly man.

 

[little shettie]

Thank you. I'm glad its not just me! xx

 

[Chuggalug]

Boy, do I know all too much about this, little shettie I do understand your frustration. Last time anyone came near my husband, only in the last couple of weeks, she was more concerned that our cat would rip her tights than what was wrong with my husband. It's crass and uncalled for. You'll learn who to trust and who not to, and work with that knowledge accordingly. Some of us have to prepare ourselves for this long, long battle with those who just don't get what dementia is all about, and we are the ones left to live with and deal with the fallout.

Ain't fair, is it?

Wishing you strength.

 

[Witzend]

My mum has Az but has always been in complete denial about it. She's gets so angry and upset when its mentioned that for a long time, we have all been treading on egg shells to keep her happy! One of the biggest bug bears is Doctors and other professionals who think its perfectly acceptable to keep mentioning the word dementia in front of her even though she is clearly reacting badly to it! We recently moved mum in with us to a new area and of course this meant new gp surgery. I was dreading it as mum had been at her old gp for years and they knew the ropes with her! I had asked the receptionist to add a note to mum records but she said although they would, it may go unseen by gp/nurse!! We had to see the nurse for the usual health checks and the nurse immediately assumed that mum did not have a voice and was unable to answer questions and was talking about mum to me like she wasn't there, when mum was sitting by my side!! Mum was getting very brisly indeed and It was a very uncomfortable 10 minutes!! I was waiting for the explosion. I had to start including mum in the conversation but sadly the penny did not drop with the nurse!! It was clear this nurse did not understand dementia or have much commonsense to shut up when I'm sitting there making facial expressions and shaking my head!!! Had this many times, its frustrating, upsetting and very stressful!!!

Even when her AD was pretty bad my mother HATED people talking about her over her head. You may well say 'bristling' - she would put a hedgehog to shame. Her CH is very good but I had to tell the staff very firmly not to do it - I would see them later if necessary.

In future, if I were you, I would try to hand the GP or whoever a note to say please so NOT mention the D word - call it memory problems or something else. And I do think that talking over any adult's head is extremely rude - there should be separate appts for relatives to state the true case - so often necessary with dementia when someone is in denial or honestly thinks there is nothing wrong with them.

On a related tack, this obsession of the govt. with getting everyone diagnosed so they can receive 'help and support' - a bit more to the point IMO would be to give proper training to all those countless professionals who are still clueless, or only think they know, and thus save so many carers tearing their hair and suffering far more stress than necessary.

 

[Pookie]

When this happened to me with a chap from Mind I realised I was a non person,so although angry I complained loudly.

Sent from my GT-I8190N using Talking Point mobile app

 

[Kevinl]

This is why Radio 4 called their programme for the disabled "Does he take sugar" the way people talk over the heads like they're not there, 30 odd years later and nothing has changed.
Little Shettie you're far from alone on this one it seem like the more you try to drop hints the more they use the word, when it come up I say "yes she has but we don't usually talk about it" "never really works. I had the urge as we left the hospital last week to get a big marked and add the word "NOT" to the sign on the door saying "This hospital and our staff are dementia friendly" but no doubt it would be criminal damage or something.
K

 

[Sringtime]

Hi, I have read your posts with interest and understand exactly where you are coming from, however I have to say also that each person is different. My hubby, now will not accept the diagnosis of Dementia. He was told on Tuesday, he has in the Neurologists opinion been misdiagnosed with Vascular and probably has Frontotemporal Dementia. He ceased this opportunity to say "there you are I havent got Dementia" so it is also very difficult to talk to anyone honestly in front of him, which leads to great difficulty when we are in with Doctors etc. So there are times where I am afraid I do talk above him, not to belittle him but to give the whole picture. Its a very difficult situation for profesionals and carers. We can only do what we think is right at the time. My husband is extremely happy living in his bubble and I no longer argue with him or try to talk to him about his diagnsosis and if he doesnt want to admit it what harm can it do.