Could someone please tell me what stage Peter is in , he can't make coffee anymore and he just don't know what tools to choose anymore in the garden, I have to do everything . I don't mine I know he can't do it but I would like to know what the next step is so I can be ready not that I will ever be really ready. It feels good to be able to talk to you all about this ,I felt so alone till I came on here. The doctor has given him antydepressant but they don't seem to be working.Christmas
dont know what to do
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hello christmas, it sounds like he's still in the mild stages but it varies greatly for each sufferer, some capabilities will hang on all the way through which would be lost early on in others. The type of dementia can mean a great difference in speed of loss of abilities too. Please do keep on posting here, just to have a rant can help.
Big hugs
Big hugs
Hello Christmas, Like you I tried to work out stage of mums dementia, I tried to compare with other people, but its like loveahug has posted, different. While mum can still recognise cutlery and what its for, she sets the table for many people and there are only two of us, garden tools mixed up a bit, if I ask her to get rose clippers she gives me the garden brush.
Hi Christmas how's things going. thing is everyone's so different and who knows what's going to happen next. Try and take things and deal with them as they come. Please don't drive yourself mad thinking to far ahead. Enjoy what you can when you can. Sending you hugs lindax
Hi Christmas,
Welcome to this forum! You will find lots of wise advice, friendliness and understanding on here.
My only concrete advice is to look up some of the threads on "compassionate communication". It won't change the situation, unfortunately, but will equip you somewhat in dealing with it better and minimising stress and frustration to Peter as well as yourself.
I hope you keep posting!
MM x
Welcome to this forum! You will find lots of wise advice, friendliness and understanding on here.
My only concrete advice is to look up some of the threads on "compassionate communication". It won't change the situation, unfortunately, but will equip you somewhat in dealing with it better and minimising stress and frustration to Peter as well as yourself.
I hope you keep posting!
MM x
wont get dressed
Hi Peter just Will not get dressed he gets up for his breakfast. Then he says he feels poorly I tell him to go and lay down till he feels better and he gets up about 1 30 and says he feels better. ,but now he just won't get dressed ,when I say get you dressed he,s like a little boy and says he,s not going to. I told him he's not keeping his night clothes on all day but he won't listen to me. I don't know how to go about getting him dressed . He ,s not to bad yet just forgets things ,I want him to enjoy the sun but I can't get though, I seen my sister today and had a rant but she does not understand she tell me things but it don't work I am tiring to keep calm with him I don't want to upset him but I just want to shout get you clothes on. I hate this illness I am not good at this at all sorry for going on but it does make me feel better Christmas
Hi Peter just Will not get dressed he gets up for his breakfast. Then he says he feels poorly I tell him to go and lay down till he feels better and he gets up about 1 30 and says he feels better. ,but now he just won't get dressed ,when I say get you dressed he,s like a little boy and says he,s not going to. I told him he's not keeping his night clothes on all day but he won't listen to me. I don't know how to go about getting him dressed . He ,s not to bad yet just forgets things ,I want him to enjoy the sun but I can't get though, I seen my sister today and had a rant but she does not understand she tell me things but it don't work I am tiring to keep calm with him I don't want to upset him but I just want to shout get you clothes on. I hate this illness I am not good at this at all sorry for going on but it does make me feel better Christmas
Hi Christmas I'm sure someone will come along soon that had the same experience and might have some ideas for you. Trouble is that people that are not going through this don't really understand dementia and find it hard. Hope someone comes along soon. lindaxx
Hi Christmas, it's so hard isn't it? Most of the time I feel that I'm just doing a rubbish job at all this. I have, however, got to the point of asking myself - before I go off wanting something done my way - "does it really matter"? Some days OH doesn't want to get up or get dressed or eat, some days like a child he wants what he wants NOW! Some days he puts his clothes on over his pyjamas or pulls his sandwich apart and eats it in bits. I keep saying to myself, does it really matter? And lots of the time it only matters to me. Sometimes it does matter, but even then I so often have found that my time scale is different from his and I have to plan around it.
Hang in there and chat with so many of the nice folks here when you need to!
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Hang in there and chat with so many of the nice folks here when you need to!
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That's what I feel. Don't want to upset the apple-cart further. The only thing I try to do is, when I can, get hubby to change his clothes as they do get rather dirty. He was never known for being particularly clean, but these days, it goes to a whole new level.
When he gets a temper jig on, I try to stay out of the way as much as I can until he's calmer, or forgets what it was all about. Tough life, isn't it. I feel for you.
I've had to decide to only talk here about this as people outside of this situation just don't get it. They're not bad, they just don't understand, so best to come here and talk with people who do. It saves me getting irritated, which I just don't need, these days!
Welcome to this Forum, Christmas. Do please keep in touch with us all. Sending you loving thoughts.
Hi Christmas just wanted to say hello and welcome. Can't really add much to what's been said already by much wiser people than me. My OH seems incapable of doing anything round the house or garden, he very occasionally takes his cup into the kitchen if he remembers where that is but sometimes it ends up in the bathroom. Often he can't find his way round the house even the 6' from his bedroom door to the bathroom. It is hard dealing with this and I think what I miss most is 'normal' conversation, it is difficult trying to translate the ramblings into something coherent whilst keeping him and me calm! I can't help you with the dressing problem I'm afraid I have the opposite trouble here trying to stop him getting dressed anytime from 1.00am onwards. Hope you get comfort from sharing your worries here.
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Hello Christmas [love saying that] Hello Christmas, with mum it was her day clothes. Back in January I would ask mum each night" would you like to take a bath and put on a warm nightie" No, she said, learnt back then not to push her, It really did not matter, just goes against the grain for the rest of us. There are now very few people I talk to about mums illness, I used to say it was difficult keeping mum occupied and a few would say does she not have any hobbies, if she is forgetting everything else why do they think she'll remember her hobbies! So here is where I talk about my situation, here is where I find people that understand. Mum started putting nightie on sometime in May, every other night she takes a bath and everyday puts clean clothes on, but she does have a few pieces that she would wear every day if she could, so these get washed over night and hopefully dry for her to wear the next day.
Please anyone who has a loved one with Dementia and aren't sure which stage they are in make an appointment with their G.P.They will assess them.There are lots and lots if stages.That many different types.
Newly Diagnosed Husband with Alzheimers
Im a carer for my husband he was diagnosed with Alzheimers on Tuesday which was quite a shock. He has been having memory problems for two years and trouble with his speech i was told this is a rare type. Speech is usually not affected they call his problem Alphasia there is no treatment for it. They are trying him on tablets for the memory in a few weeks i hope they help.
What i find really hard he doesnt seem to understand things that im doing ive had to take over the household bills and stuff. This was always his job and i think it bothers him he cant manage it now.
I take him out everyday on the bus and sometimes we play bingo most times he keeps up but sometimes misses numbers or even a win. I get up early every morning and make sure he takes his medication then we go out he seems to still enjoy this.
Im dreading the future because i know it will get much worse i think he is in the early stages at the moment.
Im a carer for my husband he was diagnosed with Alzheimers on Tuesday which was quite a shock. He has been having memory problems for two years and trouble with his speech i was told this is a rare type. Speech is usually not affected they call his problem Alphasia there is no treatment for it. They are trying him on tablets for the memory in a few weeks i hope they help.
What i find really hard he doesnt seem to understand things that im doing ive had to take over the household bills and stuff. This was always his job and i think it bothers him he cant manage it now.
I take him out everyday on the bus and sometimes we play bingo most times he keeps up but sometimes misses numbers or even a win. I get up early every morning and make sure he takes his medication then we go out he seems to still enjoy this.
Im dreading the future because i know it will get much worse i think he is in the early stages at the moment.
Hi Christmas, and a warm welcome from me too. You've come to the best place to discuss your problems, and whilst it's true that most people don't understand dementia, I can't honestly say, with my hand on my heart, that I was any better, prior to John's illness.
Since John first met me, nearly 50 years ago, I have never drunk tea, or had sugar in my coffee. When he forgot all this, some years ago, that was another step, but now I haven't let him near boiling water for some time.
Taking each day at a time is the best advice. Enjoy the things you can do together now and ask any questions you want on here, where you will get great advice, sympathy and understanding.
Since John first met me, nearly 50 years ago, I have never drunk tea, or had sugar in my coffee. When he forgot all this, some years ago, that was another step, but now I haven't let him near boiling water for some time.
Taking each day at a time is the best advice. Enjoy the things you can do together now and ask any questions you want on here, where you will get great advice, sympathy and understanding.
Same here my husband seems to be getting wanted to go to toilet today before he could get upstairs he had got it all ove him and the carpet don't think he quite knew what he had done.i cleaned him up then had to start on the carpet what a job good job we have got a carpet cleaner shattered same when he wants a wee he has a bottle but sometimes does it anywhere yesterday in an empty margarine container is this normal can anyone help
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My husband seems to go through phases of weeing in the wrong place. A few weeks ago it was the dog's bed and then her water bowl a couple of times. Last weekend he wee'd by the radiator in the bedroom 2 nights running. Since then he's been OK going to the toilet. I had his wee tested in case there was a UTI but it was all clear. I think this behaviour is quite 'normal' for dementia sufferers as the disease progresses. Others have much more experience than me, so I'm sure you'll get some advice soon.
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