Violent Behaviour

[Louaholic]

Hi,

My dad is 67 and was diagnosed with dementia & Alzheimer's this year. He is on 5 mg meds to help and this was increased to 10 but the dosage started to cause aggressive behaviour. He lives with my mum who is 73 and his primary carer and she started to become increasingly anxious not knowing how he was going to be day to day. The clinic agreed to reduce his meds to 5mg but this continued so he's now on 5mg every other day. He's been great for the last 3 weeks gets muddled still but none of this aggression so we thought we'd got the right dosage.

However last night his what has always been verbal aggression/abuse turned physical for no apparent reason with him chasing my mum around the house saying he would kill her and she couldn't escape. She ended up leaving and going to my sisters as we have advised her to take herself out if and situations where she may be in danger but we are at a loss now what to do next!!

If I take her home this morning and speak with my dad he will have no recollection and we know that it's not him behaving this way it's a symptom of the condition but I can't put my mum at risk.

Has anyone experienced this or got any advice on what to do next?

Yours desperately :-(

 

[Grannie G]

Welcome to Talking Point. I hope you will be pleased you found it.

Yes I have experienced this Louaholic and took my husband off the dementia medication. It didn`t solve everything but he was certainly better without it.

I think he was frightened of his feelings and he certainly frightened me.

Your advice to your mother about taking herself away from the aggression is spot on. There is no way she should try to reason with your dad. I`m sure she knows by now it won`t work.

Please don`t do anything without medical advice though. I can only talk about my own experience.

 

[Jessbow]

Make sure Mum has a refuge where she has access to a phone, Ideally a landline, where she can shut the door and call for help. a mobile is okay, but with the best will in the world, to carry it 24/7 is almost impossible.

Emphasise to her the need to keep herself safe, and her need to contact SS and GP for some additional help now!

 

[Louaholic]

Thanks both for your comments - mum has the phone in her room landline & mobile and also keeps her car parked in front of house so she can get away quickly if necessary. We just don't know at what point do you tell someone and even then what can they/will they do? Is a carer just expected to live there and accept the violent behaviour - I'm really concerned now this has turned physical as he has no awareness I don't think he'd be able to control it and I'd never forgive myself if mum was seriously injured

 

[lin1]

Hello Louaholic
Welcome to TP
As others have already said, you are spot on with the advise to your Mum, her safety is paramount.

Sadly aggression and violence can happen with some people who have dementia. This does not mean anyone should be expected to put up with it.
IMO the sooner the professionals are told the better. So please contact Whichever one of these dad has.
Consultant , CPN, Memory clinic . If you don't have numbers for them then contact the GP.
It may be the meds are causing the violence and it would be best to take dad
off that particular one.
Their is medication that could help keep dad calmer.

This is going to sound horrible
Mum can call the police even once she has left the house.
many here have found they are very good in these situations when they know the person is ill. I found this when I had to call them about a neighbour who had a psychiatric illness who had been put on the so called *care in the community*.

 

[susy]

Phoning the police is a good idea. It's not a case of "getting him in to trouble" no, they refer to the right places and get help when many of the medical centres fail.
This may be a progression of the disease rather than drug related, but he does need checking out.
Also, has he been checked out to see if he has a urine infection? That can totally alter the mindset of a person with Alzheimer's/dementia.

 

[Louaholic]

He's having a urine test tomorrow to see if he has a uti as he's so agitated and he's also started drinking heavily which doesn't help. He is in complete oblivion and doesn't even recall he has the illness so you can't discuss with him as he believes he is fine. Mums been to age concern today too and they have discussed a risk assessment and what could happen if another episode if violence occurs. It's just so hard being torn between your mum and dad such a cruel disease :-(

 

[Jessbow]

It's just so hard being torn between your mum and dad such a cruel disease :-(

Yes, so very hard, you clearly love them both dearly

 

[LYN T]

He's having a urine test tomorrow to see if he has a uti as he's so agitated and he's also started drinking heavily which doesn't help. He is in complete oblivion and doesn't even recall he has the illness so you can't discuss with him as he believes he is fine. Mums been to age concern today too and they have discussed a risk assessment and what could happen if another episode if violence occurs. It's just so hard being torn between your mum and dad such a cruel disease :-(

Oh dear what a difficult position to be in. I almost hope the UTI test is positive as once it clears the aggression could stop again.

If the test shows no UTI and the aggression continues it will be very difficult for your Mum to carry on caring without help. You (or your Mum) must get help. Perhaps your Dad needs to go and be assessed in Hospital? My OH has been in a MHU 5 times and each time he has had terrific help from his consultant to help with his violence

Please let us know how the test goes

Take care

Lyn T X

 

[FifiMo]

You and your mum need to agree that your dad needs help and that she is not capable of caring for him due to the unpredictability and potential for violence. As hard as this might be to contemplate what may or not happy, if your dad fell and broke his hip you would take him to hospital and if he had toothache you would take him to a dentist. In this case your dad has an injured brain due to dementia and he really does need the help of the professionals to find a solution that works for him. Your mum has to be prepared, with your support, to stick to her guns and insist that your dad is seen urgently and she should not relent to any pressure that she can soldier on for a while yet! Believe me, they will try!

The involvement of the police is a good one for a few reasons. 1. They know how to handle people who are agitated and potentially violent. 2. They have immediate access to all the various agencies from GPs to SWs to Memory Clinics. 3. If they are called out to an incident they are duty bound to report it to both the GP and SW. 4. Their involvement can mean that you jump to the head of the queue in terms of seeing a consultant. 5. They can make sure your mum is safe and can arrange for your dad to be safe too eg they wouldn't just leave him on his own. 6. for all these reasons, whilst your mum might phone you or her sister and flee the house, I would tell her to call the police first and you 2nd!

So, what might happen with your dad? He might go into hospital for an assessment and to see if they can get medication sorted so it is at the optimum level for him. If he doesn't go voluntarily and they judge that this is necessary for his own health and welfare then they might section him. You should not freak out about this as sometimes it is for his benefit and is normally only done as a last resort. At the end of any assessment period they will probably have a best interests meeting with you and your mum to see what the future plans might be for his care. If his medication is sorted and he is stable then, with your mum's agreement, then he might return home again. If they consider that his needs are complex and that the risk to your mum is too great then they would probably suggest a care home where they have staff and experience to give him the support that he needs. You might find that having had a few weeks on her own your mum decides that she cannot return to the levels of stress that she was under previously and if this is the case then she should not be afraid to speak up about it. As much as it is important that your dad gets attention it is also important that your mum's health and needs are considered too.

Btw - you say your mum can retreat to her room and that there is a phone in there. If you have not already done so, you should make sure there is a lock on the inside of the door too.

It is a horrible situation to find yourselves in and I hope that your dad can get the help that he needs and your mum can feel safe and secure in her own home again.

Fiona

 

[Louaholic]

Thanks for your comments it's really helpful to get other peoples views as we have no idea about this disease. I have told mum that it's his illness and he may have to get admitted to find the right treatment - yesterday the clinic prescribed quetiapine so will see how that goes in a very low dose 25mg. We don't know much about this drug so if it continues wil hVe to take the next step. He's only 66 so to look at him you would think he was fine and he also thinks he is find and has no awareness of this paranoia or aggressive behaviour. He's convinced my mum is stealing his money ! I'm going to get him to sign an LPA on Monday before he gets any worse upon the advice of the memory clinic


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