Hi I am new to this forum and looking for some advice and support.
My grandad was diagnosed with vascular dementia and Alzheimer's 5 years ago. I agreed to take over his care and finances as my mum is partially deaf and I wanted to help. Since then he has been in a care home but in past few weeks he has deteriorated rapidly and is now in final stages so needs to be found a nursing home before he can leave hospital. I have been left to deal with everything on my own because my mum has decided he is already dead to her so will not discuss anything about him. Finding it really difficult looking for homes, dealing with doctors, social workers, funding and visiting him especially with my 1 and 4 year old in tow. I tried talking to her and asking for help but she just told me to stop being selfish and expecting her to see him when it hurts her too much. I understand how painful it is for her but I need some help and support, it is painful for me too. My grandads dementia nurse has offered to refer her for councelling but she has refused to even speak to him. How can I help her face up to it and help more or am I better off leaving her to it. I just don't want her to regret it all once he passes away. Any advice would be greatly apprieciated, thanks.
My grandad was diagnosed with vascular dementia and Alzheimer's 5 years ago. I agreed to take over his care and finances as my mum is partially deaf and I wanted to help. Since then he has been in a care home but in past few weeks he has deteriorated rapidly and is now in final stages so needs to be found a nursing home before he can leave hospital. I have been left to deal with everything on my own because my mum has decided he is already dead to her so will not discuss anything about him. Finding it really difficult looking for homes, dealing with doctors, social workers, funding and visiting him especially with my 1 and 4 year old in tow. I tried talking to her and asking for help but she just told me to stop being selfish and expecting her to see him when it hurts her too much. I understand how painful it is for her but I need some help and support, it is painful for me too. My grandads dementia nurse has offered to refer her for councelling but she has refused to even speak to him. How can I help her face up to it and help more or am I better off leaving her to it. I just don't want her to regret it all once he passes away. Any advice would be greatly apprieciated, thanks.