Moving House

[WirelessPaul]

Susan chose this house 34 years ago when its height above the pavement was a delight and the 12 steps not a problem. Until recently, throughout the early and moderate periods of Alzheimer's Susan would get cross if moving was mentioned. Now I hear people uses the word severe.

10 weeks ago susan suddenly became unable to step down so going out was impossible and just in the last 2 weeks she stopped standing up. Commenting of a flat house she seemed to accept the idea. Recently I have started to look at some bungalows.

Just wondering if anyone might have moved to a 'more suitable house' in a similar situation and their experience.

Thanks
WirelesPaul

 

[Chuggalug]

Susan chose this house 34 years ago when its height above the pavement was a delight and the 12 steps not a problem. Until recently, throughout the early and moderate periods of Alzheimer's Susan would get cross if moving was mentioned. Now I hear people uses the word severe.

10 weeks ago susan suddenly became unable to step down so going out was impossible and just in the last 2 weeks she stopped standing up. Commenting of a flat house she seemed to accept the idea. Recently I have started to look at some bungalows.

Just wondering if anyone might have moved to a 'more suitable house' in a similar situation and their experience.

Thanks
WirelesPaul

Paul, is it not feasible to look into getting a ramp for the stairs put in? Save you both the upset of moving?

 

[pamann]

Hello wirelesspaul we moved into a bungalow 3yrs ago, never looked back best thing we did, we moved from l second floor appartment with steep stairs no lift as it was an old converted house. My huxband was difficult at the time 4yrs into AD our son helped us move so pleased we did it then, would be very difficult now my husband is much worse,

Sent from my GT-P5210 using Talking Point mobile app

 

[Beate]

That's the thing though. You have to judge whether it is more upsetting to move than stay where you are, especially if adjustments to the current house could be made. If you have to move, move sooner rather than later.

 

[MrsTerryN]

Paul we wanted to move mum and dad closer to us prior to his death. The assessment team advised he would not be feasible as mum would not be able to remember the address.
So if she went out she would be unlikely to be able to find her way back.
Not sure if that is applicable in this situation

 

[Jinx]

We're trying to sell our house, without much success as yet (6 weeks). We only have an upstairs toilet and quite steep stairs. My daughter has already bought a house with a 2 bed single storey annexe where we intend to move. I am lucky inasmuch as I can take OH there to get him used to it before we move in but hope it won't take too long. It's not a move I would have contemplated a year ago but things have changed so much with his health that it seems the sensible solution, but I do have some misgivings. I am 63 and he is nearly 82.


Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point

 

[jennieash]

Paul, is it not feasible to look into getting a ramp for the stairs put in? Save you both the upset of moving?

Hi Paul, We moved a distance of 50 miles nearly a year ago to be closer to a family member. My husband has mild vascular dementia and I was doubtful about the wisdom of the move However, he has been fine, pleased to be free of the problems of the old house. Needed a lot of care and extra consideration in the beginning. If you do decide to go ahead, try to make the new house as familiar as you can - clocks and ornaments in similar places, if you need to decorate try to choose the same wallpaper etc - this all helps. Labels (with pictures if possible) on doors to the various rooms and cupboards. Make sure your wife has identification on her at all times - even if she is accompanied it's not difficult to "lose" one another. Of course if she's in a wheelchair that won't apply. I think you should consider carefully whether or not to include your wife in the actual choosing of the house. If you visit too many with her then there is a risk of more confusion as to which of the houses you moved too. We still have slight difficulty with this aspect.

Hope this is helpful and best of luck

 

[Izzy]

That's very interesting. I have just last week started to give some thought to selling our house and looking for an apartment or a bungalow. What puts me off is the timing of the selling of ours and buying another. I doubt if Bill would now remember our house as his home. Food for thought and I will be interested to read of other experiences.

 

[marionq]

We moved to this house three and a half years ago mainly to be nearer to husband's handicapped sister. At that time he still was accepting responsibility for her in a nearby sheltered housing complex. As his AD has worsened I am now responsible for both so being in a more suitable and more convenient house has made the situation more doable. To buy this we had to sell our house in Spain and a flat in Scotland and of course at the wrong time so lost out financially. These are the common problems I expect within families as folk get older. We love this house which has great walks nearby in parks and woods yet is also close to everything we need.

So, if you need to move get moving!

 

[jawuk]

After being on the market for 15 months a couple of weeks ago I accepted an offer for our house - been at this stage before so not counting my chickens. We are moving about 100 miles to be close to family and so viewing prospective houses isn't too easy but we saw 2 last weekend. My husband now cannot differentiate between the two and is grieving for what we will lose by leaving here. He's also quite worried about the money aspect (no need to be at all as we're buying down) and is also fearful that we'll be making ourselves homeless.
I'm hoping to gradually introduce him to a local residential home firstly for a 'drop in' facility there, then day care with the idea of using that same home for respite during the actual move.

I'm trying to strike a balance between keeping him informed so that it doesn't all come as a horrendous shock to him and not adding to his anxiety level because of his lack of understanding and very poor memory. It's not an easy balance.

 

[Izzy]

Well done for selling. I hope everything goes smoothly with it.

Good luck for the search for a new home and for your husband settling.

 

[WirelessPaul]

Thank you all for these responses, food for thought here but no BIG NO. I will keep looking. Wish the 'Crystal Ball' was working!

 

[LYN T]

Hi Wireless Paul

I had to sell our home for the same reasons. The steps outside were so steep as were the stairs inside. Pete was getting lost in the home he had lived in for 30 years. I bought a Bungalow but, unfortunately, Pete was only at home for a few months when it was decided he needed a CH. So I am here in a bungalow where I don't feel at home. Peaceful area though-dogs are happy as there is a nature reserve a few steps away.

Whatever decision you make it will be hard

Take care

Lyn T