Getting a pet for a person with Alzheimer's - Is it a good idea?

[Torontonian]

but he is my friend....

well, my brother has a dog and we "borrow" him once in a while.

He's been with us since last Wednesday, with the exception of Friday night till Sunday morning..

My mom loves him... she always misses him when he is not around... yesterday I said to my mom, we should give the dog back to my brother where he belongs... she said, he is ours why would we give him to my brother.. she was worried and agitated after that for a long while.. at the end I said ok he can stay another day or so.

I am the one who walks the dog in the morning before going to work as my mom lives with me. I tell her not to feed him but just water as I feed him in the morning... I know she forgets what I say so I leave a large note saying the dog has been walked and fed.. but when I call during lunch break she'll tell me that the dog is hungry and she'll give him some bread or something.. and she does... he hasn't gained any weight... my brother also calls during the day and reminds her not to feed him... after work I go home and walk the dog then we eat our dinner and I take them both out for a walk... someone should take a picture me walking the dog on the leash and holding my mom's hand at the same time...

I love the dog but can't do it everyday..

and yesterday my mom said, he is her friend...

so he'll stay another day or two.

 

[dottydos7]

Pauline

We have a border terrier and my husband with dementia loves her. She makes him smile even if he does forget her name!

 

[JillGee]

Go online and look at battery operated cats or dogs. I have a cat and kitten upstairs belonging to my granddaughter and these are life size and stretch and miaow. Perfect to sit and stroke or just admire or switch off when you are fed up with them. You can't trip over them on the stairs and you can't over feed them.

Such a great idea! To expect a dementia sufferer to care for a live animal would be cruel for the pet. But to have 'robot' pet would be just perfect. Thank you for the suggestion.

 

[JillGee]

no it's not fair to the animal...

I totally agree. You would not ask a dementia sufferer to look after your child, so why expect them to look after an animal? It's just wrong.

 

[AnneED]

It can be...?

My mother has had dementia for around 5 years and has a small cat, Bella, who is now around 14 years old. She lives alone but has carers visiting on weekdays and family at weekends. She does not remember to feed Bella all the time but the carers discreetly do this now, and there are water and biscuit reservoirs in case Bella is without fresh food. The carers change the litter trays and Bella has a flap to the outside. Mum treats Bella appropriately in other ways - they sit together much of the time and Bella sleeps on mum's bed. We make sure she has vet treatment as needed. Friends care for her when mum is staying with us. It works well. I am not suggesting that introducing a new pet is a good idea, or having a pet that needs a lot of care, but sometimes pets can still be well cared for and bring a lot of pleasure to their owners with dementia. Mum also gets huge pleasure from our visits partly because of our small dog who comes with us and is oblivious to mum's dementia.

 

[Corriefan]

I would only recommend getting a pet if someone else lives with her and is able to look after it. My mum is the same as some others have said earlier - over-feeding her little dog, giving it her own food etc. She also suffers from delusions and quite often imagines that the little dog is being ill-treated, tortured etc. She also thinks that people are plotting to kill the dog. Her behaviour also makes the dog snappy sometimes. It's a tough one really.

 

[Chaiah]

Hi everyone,

Right now I am caring for my 70-year-old mother but I am concerned about her being bored and lonely. In the past we had cats which she adored but the death of each one was heartbreaking for her, especially the third cat, about 3 years ago. Lately, I have been considering getting her - or taking her out to choose and adopt - a new cat, but is it a good idea? Will the disease drive a wedge between them, eventually? Any thoughts?

Best wishes to all

It sounds like you've, already, received a lot of great advice. I agree that the only way I'd even consider getting myself a pet as this disease progresses is if my husband and daughters help me care for my pet. Even then, it's iffy because what if I were to get seriously upset about something when left alone and take it out on the dog/cat... Getting a pet for a person with dementia is no different than getting a pet for a two year old.

I, currently, have a dog who has saved my life on several occasions and alerted to strokes. She is not a trained service dog but incredibly intelligent and never far from my side. She's been a part of our family since she was a young pup and is now 7.5 yrs old - and for a giant breed that's a senior dog. I don't know what my life will be like when she is no longer with me as she is a great source of comfort and love when I'm having bad days. However, I've had her a long time so our relationship is quite bonded.

Most of my faculties are still in place but some days are better than others. We have four parrots, three cats, two giant breed dogs and one large breed dog, two rats, and a 125 gal cichlid fish tank. It's never boring in our home. They all help me to remain lucid to a large degree as I have to work at caring for them and it's very good/therapeutic for me.

If you are willing to take on the actual care of a pet you might get for your mom, you must be willing to take over the general care of the pet when she is unable to do so. You could never leave your mom alone just in case she might become violent and harm the pet. You'd have to have someone come to your home and help pet sit (when in actuality they'd be there in case your mom acts in appropriately towards the pet.

I don't know if it helps hearing from someone with Early Onset Dementia, but hope it does. Good luck, dear, on whatever decision you make. Your mom raised a lovely child.

Chaiah

 

[Night-owl]

pet or no pet?

I'd say no live pet unless a reliable carer can be responsible. But we got a small aquarium for my mum with a few fish which I looked after. Carers helped supervise. It gave a bit of movement to her flat, and something to talk about. Also something for me to do if other things were falling flat. However, as my husband had predicted, it was more work than I'd anticipated.
I now wish I'd gone for one of these imitation tanks that light up.

 

[Terri257]

My mum's last cat lived 19 years and she was heartbroken he died. Mum has a cat it's one that actually adopted her and now lives with her. I speak to my mum every day if I am not there so I can remind her a) to feed and water herself and b) the cat. It's very odd but when I ask mum what she has done or if someone has called she remembers nothing but can tell me everything the cat has been up to. Mum puts food outside for visiting cats and there are some extremely fat pigeons hanging around. So if puss doesn't get food inside there's plenty about outside. The cat does sleep on mums bed, sleeps a lot during the day and spends it's evenings on her lap. It's an older cat but not so old it ready to put up it's paws just yet. She gets an enormous amount of pleasure from the cat and quite often when we've left we get phone calls to make sure the cat hadn't jumped in the car when we left. The cat has never jumped in anyone's car. Mum never phones anyone apart from when she thinks the cat has been out too long and maybe it jumped in the car even if I haven't been over. The cat jumps up at the patio door and hold onto the handle when it wants to go out and when it wants to come back in. There is no mistaking it. The cat meeoows very early in the morning to be let out and mum will get up to the bathroom and opens a window before going back to bed. The cat lets itself back in. The odd thing is if my mum is unwell the cat will just stroke her face with it's paw and isn't bothered about going out. It's as though she knows when something is wrong and there clearly is a very strong bond. We have a cat tray downstairs in case the cat wanted it but it doesn't If is came to the stage where we had any suspicious the cat was not being cared for we would intervene and pay a neighbour to feed it and let it out. Mum takes care of that cat better than she does herself. There was a lot we thought my mum incapable of until I was unwell whilst visiting. She swung into autopilot and was able to do things that were far more complicated than we imagined she could do but simple things like switching on the TV with the remote control she can't do nor change the channel. There are lots of studies that promote the benefits of the sick and elderly having pets and also dementia patients remembering their pets names long after they've forgotten their family's names. I think it depends on whether the bond is formed before your mother starts deteriorating to far. Your mum is used to cats and therefore caring for the cat and she clearly does like them. Maybe you could find a more senior cat for her. Keep an eye on how she is looking after the cat, mum's isn't a greedy cat and even though there's food about she doesn't finish it off when she doesn't want it. If she does forget to feed it then you could ask a neighbour to make sure the cat has fresh food and water in it's bowl each day and your mum is letting it out. By the sounds of it I think your mum and the cat would benefit from each other's company. Keeping a dementia patient mentally engaged in something that interests them does help . It's impossible for one of my sister's to stay over at mum's as she is allergic to cat hair so she only gets over when she's been paid to stay in a hotel as part of her job and she goes out with mum. It takes her a few days to get over the visit and just going into the house but we all know who comes first in the family stakes and it's not the offspring! Your mum is still relatively young at 70 so I would do it, take her and pick the cat and be prepared to take steps to ensure the cat's welfare if and when your mum can no longer do it herself.

Lothian have just introduced a couple of dementia dogs up there. I saw them at the dementia show. The dogs are trained and join the patient while they are still in the mild dementia stage and the bond is formed. They can indicate when the patient forgets to take their tablets or liquid and when the patient can no longer take care of the dog the task moves to the carer but if they go out shopping together the carer can leave the patient with the dog so they don't wander off. I think it's brilliant because dogs and cats can be so loving and so many dogs are so intelligent they can be trained to do so many things.

 

[tonyr67]

prt

Hi everyone,

Right now I am caring for my 70-year-old mother but I am concerned about her being bored and lonely. In the past we had cats which she adored but the death of each one was heartbreaking for her, especially the third cat, about 3 years ago. Lately, I have been considering getting her - or taking her out to choose and adopt - a new cat, but is it a good idea? Will the disease drive a wedge between them, eventually? Any thoughts?

Best wishes to all

My partner who had alzheimers wanted another pet, we had had german shepherds previously so after much thought and talking to people from memory clinic i bought a fifteen month german shepherd *****. My partners life was enriched by the dog,although she did sometimes get the dogs name mixed up as well as mine.
When my partner died last year I was certain the dog had made her happy.
Oh I an ex nightclub bouncer was her sole carer during her illness. Yes get a pet.
Tony R

 

[4boding]

I adopted a rescue dog to my mom with dementia. Her duty was feeding, walking and cuddling. Mine was everything else. When mom deteriorared, I helped her to walk dog and if she forgot feed it. When CH time arrived, I keep the dog.

Dog helped me to control her when sundowning. Wanted to go home, later, first hold tigh dog until I was ready to drive home. Was lost, dog knew where to go. Dog asked food so she shared with dog ( but she ate). Sometimes I was mom punchbag, but dog calmed her so I was not so punched.

Dog as a rescue dog was on risk of euthanasia, just for not being popular. So I think it was fair to dog too.

Advice: if your mother lives alone, no way. A pet need some care. If she lives with you and you are willing to care the pet too, for long time after your mom goes CH, then adopt it and share with your mom.

Thank you for your reply and the good advice.