Masteurbation

[Jane W]

Thought my Mum had a feminine 'itch', had it checked & no problem.
Then at lunch last week she put her hand down trousers , thought she was scratching until she told me it was 'very nice' then I realised she was masteurbating.
Apparantly this has been happening on & off over few weeks & the staff are useing diversion tactics or moving her from lounges
She is in a wonderful care home ( not a specific dementia unit)with super staff & I don't want this to become so bad that she is asked to leave.
Am horrified, as she's my Mum & I know they lose inhibitions but would appreciate some help & advice.
Jane

 

[Noorza]

In all honesty, I would get the care home staff to move her to her own room for privacy, if it is a source of pleasure for her, then put her in her own room. That's just my opinion others will no doubt vary.

 

[carastro]

My mother in law did the same, my husband came downstairs one day and found her sitting in the living room in full view of the window masturbating!!!!

In fact we discovered after finding a deflated Banana on her tray that she used to use implements like bananas and steradent tubes, so things had to be kept out of her way.

It's more embarrassing than anything, but when she finally went into a Nursing Home we mentioned it to the Manager who seemed quite familiar with this scenario and said it was one of the manifestations of dementia, it did not put her off taking MIL. I am sure if the staff are aware the best thing is for them to escort her to her room, or distract her when it happens. I am sure they won't ask her to leave.

Carastro

 

[Kate01]

medication may be the reason

hi Jane
I have a feeling that is may be due to your mother's medication as when my husband was put onto Ebixa, the doctor said to me, if your husband has a problem with ' night time activities' which i thought at the time referred to Masturbation, let me know as I can give him something for it.
so maybe check with your doctor first.
Hope this helps.

Thought my Mum had a feminine 'itch', had it checked & no problem.
Then at lunch last week she put her hand down trousers , thought she was scratching until she told me it was 'very nice' then I realised she was masteurbating.
Apparantly this has been happening on & off over few weeks & the staff are useing diversion tactics or moving her from lounges
She is in a wonderful care home ( not a specific dementia unit)with super staff & I don't want this to become so bad that she is asked to leave.
Am horrified, as she's my Mum & I know they lose inhibitions but would appreciate some help & advice.
Jane

 

[VickyG]

I'm with Noorza. There's no harm in someone having a little bit of pleasure Just preserve what bit of dignity they have left, and a bit of consideration for others around, and there you go, no problem

 

[Rathbone]

Dear Jane, so sorry for you because this must feel excruciating. As the others have told you, it is quite a usual manifestation in dementia and is only embarrassing to witness. Otherwise there is no problem. The CH will help with this by helping her to her own private room. They will be quite aware of the potential for this behaviour.Please try not to worry about it and accept it for what it is. Being confronted in any way with one's parent's sexuality is hard enough, but this is particularly tough. Try to see that your mum is showing contentment - a feeling which she must rarely experience in the middle of AD. Loving thoughts. X

 

[Jane W]

Thank you all for your support.
The CH is moving her & useing diversionary tactics. I know it's mostly me being so devastated seeing my Mum in this way.
I gave her a really soft teddy bear a while ago which she adores & is now taking everywhere & when she cuddles 'Mollybear' she is transported to happy times as she adores little ones. This has helped as she has something else to think about & love.
Love my Mum.

 

[Rathbone]

I have found that a shoe box or similar with pillow and cover for the doll/teddy helps to distract also. Might be worth a try, especially if your mum enjoys the teddy. X