Getting a pet for a person with Alzheimer's - Is it a good idea?

[4boding]

Hi everyone,

Right now I am caring for my 70-year-old mother but I am concerned about her being bored and lonely. In the past we had cats which she adored but the death of each one was heartbreaking for her, especially the third cat, about 3 years ago. Lately, I have been considering getting her - or taking her out to choose and adopt - a new cat, but is it a good idea? Will the disease drive a wedge between them, eventually? Any thoughts?

Best wishes to all

 

[susy]

The problem with pets and Alzheimer's is caring for the pet. Pets can be over fed, can outlive their owner,etc. if you got a kitten, they look cute but do have claws and sharp teeth. As well as all of their toileting needs.
On the plus side, they do bring interest and joy.
Have you thought of other pets such as a tank of fish (yet again over feeding is an issue and they aren't much company) or other short life span animals? Had anyone any idea about budgies as an idea of a good pet for company? Some can talk.

 

[jaymor]

Hi,

If your Mum lives alone then it may be unfair on the cat. She may forget to feed the cat, to let the cat in or out or even forget all together she has the cat. If she is or becomes less mobile the cat could become a trip hazard.

If your Mum does not live alone then it could be a wonderful asset to her. She gets the cuddles and strokes and someone else deals with the necessary looking after of the cat.

So many things to think about when dealing with dementia, even something as simple as a pet.

Good luck,

Jay

 

[Tin]

pets, to be or not to be

Hi everyone,

Right now I am caring for my 70-year-old mother but I am concerned about her being bored and lonely. In the past we had cats which she adored but the death of each one was heartbreaking for her, especially the third cat, about 3 years ago. Lately, I have been considering getting her - or taking her out to choose and adopt - a new cat, but is it a good idea? Will the disease drive a wedge between them, eventually? Any thoughts?

Best wishes to all

mixed blessings, mum brought her little dog with her. she is obsessed with the poor little thing, over feeding plus a fair chunk of her own food, not letting out in to the garden, insisting they sleep together. all pillows, blankets duvets regularly pulled in to sitting room covering the dog, generally treats it like a baby. I have a few pets and when mum moved in I thought these would be new pets for her, nooooo, one friendly cat would love to sleep with mum, nooooo, shes just not interested, even my poor old dog. so I have made the decision that if little dog goes before mum I will not replace it!

 

[marionq]

Hi everyone,

Right now I am caring for my 70-year-old mother but I am concerned about her being bored and lonely. In the past we had cats which she adored but the death of each one was heartbreaking for her, especially the third cat, about 3 years ago. Lately, I have been considering getting her - or taking her out to choose and adopt - a new cat, but is it a good idea? Will the disease drive a wedge between them, eventually? Any thoughts?

Best wishes to all

Go online and look at battery operated cats or dogs. I have a cat and kitten upstairs belonging to my granddaughter and these are life size and stretch and miaow. Perfect to sit and stroke or just admire or switch off when you are fed up with them. You can't trip over them on the stairs and you can't over feed them.

 

[Beate]

I would really only think about a pet, any pet if there was someone else living with her who could take care of it. You can't expect someone with dementia to take care of an animal properly and while the love and comfort you get from a pet is a definite advantage, there are other ways of doing this - my OH had been volunteering at a city farm for a while which got him in touch with small animals. You could also take someone else's dog out for a walk and take your mother with her and let her fuss over him. There are charities that take animals into care homes for a visit as the benefit is clear, but having someone with dementia care for them full-time? I wouldn't advise it.

 

[Beate]

Go online and look at battery operated cats or dogs. I have a cat and kitten upstairs belonging to my granddaughter and these are life size and stretch and miaow. Perfect to sit and stroke or just admire or switch off when you are fed up with them. You can't trip over them on the stairs and you can't over feed them.

That's a very good idea and I remember someone at the Vitalise Centre had one of those with her and wouldn't let go of if.

 

[Raggedrobin]

I simply got my mum a teddy bear, and she talks to it and treats it like a living thing. i wouldn't go the pet route.

 

[Dave K]

Hi everyone,

Right now I am caring for my 70-year-old mother but I am concerned about her being bored and lonely. In the past we had cats which she adored but the death of each one was heartbreaking for her, especially the third cat, about 3 years ago. Lately, I have been considering getting her - or taking her out to choose and adopt - a new cat, but is it a good idea? Will the disease drive a wedge between them, eventually? Any thoughts?

Best wishes to all

I would not recommend any pet for anyone suffering from AD (IMHO) as pets tend to live a long time so what is OK right now would not really be considered in a years time, then what do you do with the pet

It would wholly unfair to the pet and AD sufferer to be parted when things get too bad

I have recently brought a new pet into my home (Search for Zeus here on TP) but I completely understood before doing so that I would have to be it's mum and dad as my wife will not be able to look after her in any way shape or form

My opinion only

 

[Merrymaid]

Have to agree that getting a new pet is not the best of ideas. My old cat Max was used to Mum but would occasionally lash out with a scratch when she tried to wrap him up like a baby. This was really dangerous as her skin is so delicate and obviously infection was a worry. She would over feed my little dog given half the chance, so I have to keep an eye on her. She does like to cuddle, stroke and throw ball for him which makes her happy. Have you thought about contacting Pets As Therapy these are trained animals who are happy to be petted by people other than their owners. That way she can have the fun without all the care issues.

 

[meme]

no it's not fair to the animal...

 

[Polly1945]

I recently bought a second hand battery operated cat for my Mum, as she lives in a care home. She loves it but it can be switched off from time to time and doesn't need feeding or cleaning up after it.

Got it on the famous auction internet site so not too expensive.

I bought a soft brush for its fur and also a very flashy collar with sparkly bell. The Home said it is very therapeutic and may invest in a few more for the other residents.

When mum cuddles it - it looks up at her and meows and purrs!

Worth looking into.

Pauline

 

[BR_ANA]

no it's not fair to the animal...

I adopted a rescue dog to my mom with dementia. Her duty was feeding, walking and cuddling. Mine was everything else. When mom deteriorared, I helped her to walk dog and if she forgot feed it. When CH time arrived, I keep the dog.

Dog helped me to control her when sundowning. Wanted to go home, later, first hold tigh dog until I was ready to drive home. Was lost, dog knew where to go. Dog asked food so she shared with dog ( but she ate). Sometimes I was mom punchbag, but dog calmed her so I was not so punched.

Dog as a rescue dog was on risk of euthanasia, just for not being popular. So I think it was fair to dog too.

Advice: if your mother lives alone, no way. A pet need some care. If she lives with you and you are willing to care the pet too, for long time after your mom goes CH, then adopt it and share with your mom.

 

[lexy]

deleted

 

[carer21]

Like Tin in earlier post mum came to us with her own 2 dogs when she moved in. Interestingly she displays all the same behaviours and we always knew that we would be responsible for the well being of the dogs - now only one. Mum has not registered the demise of the other ( a whole story in itself!) but does occasionally think she has 2 and I just say oh you used to but you only have one now. That seems ok and on we go. However when the other goes (13 years old now) it will be a blow but I think it would be inappropriate and unfair on the new animal to try to cope with the erratic behaviour of mum and give the time necessary to properly welcome a new animal to family. However We do have 2 cats of our own here and when the time comes I think they will just have to be the only animals around.


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[ksm1991]

I wouldn't recommend it, but we did get a four year old cat for my pap when he was living on his own before we moved in (at this point he had mild dementia and hadn't bleed diagnosed with Alzheimer's) . He loves her to pieces and although she's not a very cuddly cat she is great company for him. Even now after we have moved in we still hear him talking to her both during the day and at night. I think it settles him slightly. He even remembers to feed her everyday . As I said I wouldn't recommend it, it's not so bad if there is other people living with the the person with Alzheimer's but if he had been diagnosed at the time I don't think we would have got her.


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[WILLIAMR]

Under the circumstances I don't think it would be good to get another pet.

If Alzheimer's did not have to be considered my advice to anybody who's pet dies is get another pet.

I have only ever had dogs but they do help you to overcome the grief of the loss of your previous dog.

Our present dog had a rough time at the start with us. Our old dog died on his 17th birthday and his owner died the same day.

He came in to our house obviously in grief about his own loss and had to get us out of ours.

We all pulled through the situation well together.

William

 

[Chook]

We bought mum a budgie and she loves him and chats to him often. I go over there regularly so there is no fear of not feeding it. Actually she cares for it very well and it gives her someone else to worry about rather than herself.

Chook x

 

[GrannyAnn]

Neighbouring animals

We get a lot of enjoyment of watching animals from our windows. Next door they have three dogs who are always in and out of their back yard, and many cats walk along our back wall. We know most of their names, and if name forgotten can describe them to each other. No looking after them needed, though sadly no stroking either!

 

[Fruitcake42]

I recall taking my mother's cat (he was almost 10 years old at the time) to the vets while she was still at home and how very worried the vet was about the state of the cat's health/weight. Mum's declining mental faculties meant she could never remember when she fed him, so there were plates of food all over the place downstairs - so many in fact that the cat couldn't finish what was put down for him.

The vet asked if we could adopt him on behalf of Mum but I couldn't agree to do that because the cat was the centre of Mum's life, even though I felt for the cat it would probably have been the best thing. We didn't live anywhere near Mum (165 miles distance) so we weren't in a position to help look after him.

Not long after this, the situation resolved itself ... Mum had another very bad fall at home which also impacted adversely on her mental faculties so that she was moved into a home where she's been for the past 15 months - and now thriving with being looked after 24/7, enjoying a weekly trip out in the home's people carrier for a fish and chip lunch.

And all has ended well for the cat - he is now with us, a lot slimmer, with more muscle on him - and generally a happier cat because we make a fuss of him, whereas Mum couldn't because of her fraility. It saddens me no end that Mum can't see her cat as he is now. We show her lots of photos and some video but it isn't the same as being able to stroke him. He will always be her cat.