Not using knife when eating?

[Merrymaid]

My Mum (AD) has over a period of time been increasingly reluctant to use her knife and fork in the conventional way when eating. With a little prompting she will cut her food up as normal then puts her knife down, swops her fork to her right hand & pushes food on to her fork with her left hand. If I continue to remind her I get the huffpuff response. It's not that she has forgotten how to use them it's more that she has chosen this unusual technique. She has also recently started just picking food up with her hands & not just appropriate finger foods.

To counter this I have increased hand hygiene at meal times.

However, I am curious has any one else witnessed this?

 

[Beate]

Yep. Exactly same here. I give him knife and fork, he uses fork and hand. I've bought a knork which is kind of a mixture of knife and fork, with limited success. He still uses his hands as well.
http://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/showthread.php?70859-Table-manners-(or-lack-thereof)

 

[Merrymaid]

Thanks Beate, it's curious how this happens. I know everything about this disease is often without logic but this behaviour for some reason caught my interest.

 

[min88cat]

I think it's all to to do with reverting to childlike behaviour. I was looking after our 18 month old granddaughter today, and she eats exactly like this, because that's what toddlers do. My MIL was exactly the same and so were the residents in the NH. After this it's being unable to feed themselves, it's growing up in reverse.

 

[Spamar]

OH as well. Only thing he uses fork for is buttering toast. Other than that, fork'n'fingers.

 

[Rathbone]

Yep min88cat, I totally agree. In fact when we are confounded, it really helps to see the behaviour as childlike - somehow it becomes more bearable to witness. And frankly, does it really matter - hygiene allowed - as long as the food gets to the intended place, let it be. X

 

[Ann Mac]

I think it's all to to do with reverting to childlike behaviour. I was looking after our 18 month old granddaughter today, and she eats exactly like this, because that's what toddlers do. My MIL was exactly the same and so were the residents in the NH. After this it's being unable to feed themselves, it's growing up in reverse.

I found myself describing Mils eating as becoming more 'childlike' a week or so back Noticed she is 'prising' food apart, rather than cutting, spills happen all the time, and for the first time the other day, she used her fingers to 'wipe' the last of the gravy off her plate at dinner time Her coordination is deteriorating - that's apparent with dressing too, buttons etc., are becoming difficult - and I think also she is less aware of what's 'appropriate' table manners. Its sad, but at the moment, as long as she is eating and enjoying her food, at home I don't let it bother me. I worry about how she will cope at day care as this skill is lost though

 

[LYN T]

I remember the time when Pete said 'what do I do with these?' (his knife and fork). From that time he never used them again. So we both ate with a spoon-I didn't want him to feel inadequate. Now he has to be fed. Things change and skills are lost.

In the big scheme of Dementia as long as food gets eaten I would just go with it. I shouldn't imagine that Mum can be 'taught' to use her cutlery in a way we find acceptable.

Take care

Lyn T

 

[Fhvn]

Must be pretty common. My husband has tried the knork and it didn't really make any difference. He too will cut up the food and then use fork and fingers or just fingers. And he too pulls things apart, like sandwiches, and eats them in bits. He loves McDonalds because everyone eats with fingers. I do a yuk when he pulls the top of the bun covered with tartare sauce off and eats it on its own. I would agree, for the most part, does it matter? Like so many things, it is me who gets bothered about it, not him. I am sure the daycare people have seen it all before and are prepared for the behaviour.


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[Witzend]

There is an Arnold Bennett novel written nearly 100 years ago, where he describes in detail the progress of someone's dementia, and one of the early signs was forgetting how to use a knife and fork.

 

[gerry200]

This rings a bell. My Mother just stopped using her knife one day and has never, ever used it again.

I'd love to read the Arnold Bennett novel, which one is it Witzend ? (And how do I 'tag' you?)

 

[Witzend]

Jock

This rings a bell. My Mother just stopped using her knife one day and has never, ever used it again.

I'd love to read the Arnold Bennett novel, which one is it Witzend ? (And how do I 'tag' you?)

I think it's 'Clayhanger' - one of a trilogy including 'Hilda Lessways' and 'These Twain'. Forget whether Clayhanger or Hilda L comes first.

Clueless about tagging, I'm afraid!

The dementia victim in the novel is the father of the main character - a very powerful and domineering self-made man who goes downhill pretty quickly. In the novel it is called 'softening of the brain'. I think Bennett must have had first hand experience to describe it as he does.

 

[Merrymaid]

That's interesting gerry200 I will have a look for the book.

Thanks to all who have responded, yet another step into this other world of AD.

 

[Kevinl]

My Mum (AD) has over a period of time been increasingly reluctant to use her knife and fork in the conventional way when eating. With a little prompting she will cut her food up as normal then puts her knife down, swops her fork to her right hand & pushes food on to her fork with her left hand.

Anyone who's been to America will tell you this is how a lot of Americans eat, fork in the left, knife in the right cut up the food then put the fork in the right hand to eat, if you watch you'll see people on films and TV do it, I do it too but my Mum was American and she taught me how to use a knife and fork so I guess that's where I picked the habit, I have to force myself not to do it when I'm eating out.
Just another Americanisation like all the people who now have Moms not Mums.
Maybe AZ turns you in to an American Sorry to all the American readers I didn't mean that.
K

 

[Merrymaid]

Anyone who's been to America will tell you this is how a lot of Americans eat, fork in the left, knife in the right cut up the food then put the fork in the right hand to eat, if you watch you'll see people on films and TV do it, I do it too but my Mum was American and she taught me how to use a knife and fork so I guess that's where I picked the habit, I have to force myself not to do it when I'm eating out.
Just another Americanisation like all the people who now have Moms not Mums.
Maybe AZ turns you in to an American Sorry to all the American readers I didn't mean that.
K

Yes Kevin I was aware that a lot of Americans eat that way thanks. I was more concerned with the fact that my Mother for most of her 83 years hadn't. I was curious about how the progression of the illness causes behaviours to change so dramatically.

 

[foreveryoung]

Yes Kevin I was aware that a lot of Americans eat that way thanks. I was more concerned with the fact that my Mother for most of her 83 years hadn't. I was curious about how the progression of the illness causes behaviours to change so dramatically.

so pleased I've joined this group. Just noticed today how reluctant Mum was to use her knife. this makes me understand a lot better and able react more appropriately. I have found this site very helpful and it's good to be able to have a good rant or seek advise from like minded people who are going through the same things