Hi
My family has a dilemma that I hope you good people can help us with.
My 93 year old mum died two months ago. She had dementia and died at home as she had always wanted. Her and dad had been married for 75 years. Dad, also 93, also has dementia which wasn't as bad as mum's but since she has died he has become much worse. He is no longer able to live independently and we have sadly taken the decision to put him in a care home which is lovely and we are very happy with it although dad doesn't understand why he is in there.
Our problem is that dad keeps asking where mum is. We tell him that she has died and at first he was distraught and asked why nobody had told him. We say that of course we did tell him and that he went to the funeral but he just doesn't take it in and ten minutes later we go through the same conversation almost word for word. He is less emotional now but no less confused. The carers in the home say that we shouldn't tell him that mum has died but to distract him and say things like 'you will see her again' but we don't agree.
If anyone has had any experience of this we would be grateful for their comments. It is heartbreaking for us to see dad like this and we are still mourning the death of our lovely mum.
I hate this disease.
My family has a dilemma that I hope you good people can help us with.
My 93 year old mum died two months ago. She had dementia and died at home as she had always wanted. Her and dad had been married for 75 years. Dad, also 93, also has dementia which wasn't as bad as mum's but since she has died he has become much worse. He is no longer able to live independently and we have sadly taken the decision to put him in a care home which is lovely and we are very happy with it although dad doesn't understand why he is in there.
Our problem is that dad keeps asking where mum is. We tell him that she has died and at first he was distraught and asked why nobody had told him. We say that of course we did tell him and that he went to the funeral but he just doesn't take it in and ten minutes later we go through the same conversation almost word for word. He is less emotional now but no less confused. The carers in the home say that we shouldn't tell him that mum has died but to distract him and say things like 'you will see her again' but we don't agree.
If anyone has had any experience of this we would be grateful for their comments. It is heartbreaking for us to see dad like this and we are still mourning the death of our lovely mum.
I hate this disease.