what do i do?

[jenniferpa]

Well may be not that book, although it's useful in that it talks about how to cope with people who who believe things that aren't true. See if you can get it from the library anyway.

Edited to add; I just looked back at your first post: this book offers advice in direct contradiction to the "orientation to reality" approach the the health professional advised: the author calls it "habilitation"

 

[poppet]

ok will see what i can get hold of...like the comments on our hubby's btw!!!

just going off on a tangent..just read a post from another thread that brought back memories of my nan...i was a teen mum whilst caring for her...she passed away 7 weeks before my wedding to my now hubby of 12 yrs...so sad she missed it as i still miss her dreadfully everyday...however...this post i just read notes how we should see our loved ones how we used to remember them...i still talk to her...laugh about the things we used to do together...cry about the sad things and long for the cream from the top of the milk that she used to save me (sorry just some thing i always had on arrival to her flat as a child!!!)

anyway my point is that reading some of these posts often makes me feel sad and i wish i could send more replies of hope and good wishes to all of you...i dont have a wide range of knowledge in this area but feel that you have all supported me so much and want to give something back...so i just inadequately say...thanks...bless you...my thoughts are wilth you too...

poppet

PS gonna go n have a cry now!!

 

[SaraS]

I agree with Lizzies response that accepting the hallucinations rather than trying to explain them away - it doesn't seem to work.

I came across this during a period in January when my mum was taken into hospital for dehydration. She is only in the early stages of Alzheimers but Drs think it may have been caused by her dehydration and the change of surroundings. I was terrified and unprepared for it - especially when she was convinced that Dad was there (he was at home) and the nurses had taken him into a room to die. I tried to reason with her but to no avail and looking back I was trying to reason with her was for me more than anything else.

I can look back and laugh now - She thought at one point Dad was outside the window with the police - we were 2 floors up!!!!

But at the time it was awful so my heart goes out to you

Sara

 

[poppet]

thanks for that...

oh goddness...life throws it all at you doesnt it...my mum (not my mil who i have been posting about) has just called to say she had some bad news at her hosptial appointment this morning...the consultant she saw thinks the examination/biopsy etc looks like she has breast cancer.

i am devastated...

i will of course remain positive till the results are confirmed but needed to 'say' this out loud

poppet

 

[poppet]

sorry i didnt mean

i meant

 

[jenniferpa]

Poppet, I'm sorry about this bad news.

As a breast cancer survivor I have to say this can be anything from a major stumbling block to a minor blip, depending on the staging. So don't cross your bridges until you come to them, OK? Easier said than done, I know.

Take care

 

[Kate P]

Oh Poppet,

What a diffcult time you're having right now - it never rains but it pours eh?

I do hope all goes well with your mum - remember to take care of yourself in all of this madness - you can't help others if you wear yourself out.

Thinking of you.

 

[Grannie G]

I`m so sorry about your mother Poppet, I just hope if it is breast cancer, it has been caught in time.

Take care xx

 

[poppet]

thanks both...lots of other bits going on too in our famiily life...wont bore you with details...but needless to say...i feel the extentions for my shoulders need to come out of the loft!!!

cant bear all this on my own so be prepared for alot of off loading..sorry!

 

[Skye]

Poppet, offload as much as you like!

All good wishes to your mum, I hope you get batter news soon.

Love,

 

[poppet]

small step for man....!!!

ok...had a phone message from mil today ...i ignored it...it was to ask if i would look in on 'him' while she was out today. she phoned later to see if he was with me...i said 'he' (she used hubby's name) was at work...after some conversation about where she had been and i had used distraction to get her off the subject of 'them' or 'him', i talked to her about the SS apointment on thursday...she brought it up so i seized the oppertunity (sorry my sp is bad).

anyway...i managed to discuss with her her need for a little help in certain areas... and backerd this up with evidence of things that she had told us and that she could remeber. i am hoping that this and what ever hubby is able to sort on the day will produce something beneficial...

theni spoke to pensions service to sort appointment for the same day...the lady there was lovely and said that they like to have a relative there so great...also she was greatful that the ss would also be there as it simplify's things...she said 'they' (mil) often dont recognise their own needs etc...this gave me hope that SOMETHING might be doen to start the ball rolling...
will let you know how things go on thursday

my mum is trying to get on with things ...as am i...will let you know news on monday too...

poppet

 

[Sandwichboy]

Hi poppet

My mother was diagnosed with atypical Parkinsons in 2003..this has turned into a Lewy Body diagnosis now. Often I gather atypical Parkinsons (no tremor, early fall syndrome, instability and hallucinations-dead pets, someone at door at night, night time "disturbances") is similar to LBD in the first instance.

I realise now that my mother had halluncinations way back in 2001 or so. She thought leaves in autumn were squirrels and also used to mix up pronouns in conversations, confusing relations-eg she'd look at me and talk to me as if I were my father, just briefly.

Sh was also very independent and aggressive about having a check up for other things, despite her regular appointment at the Parkinsons elderly care clinic.

One of the things to watch for is the risk of falling and poor depth of field awareness...this is most obvious with eg knife and fork or say fiddling with imaginary things in hands...if your mother is in a house with stairs etc, alone then I'd suggest you need to convince her to move to something smaller and close to you...The problem being that in my mother's case she got very very aggressive about being impinged upon or being told she needed help.

 

[poppet]

great to hear of someone else that knows of someone that has been diagnosed with LBD...although for you and your mum it obviously is not...

thanks for sharing your thoughts...she lives in a bungalow round the corner so short of all of us moving so she can live in with us then thats the best we can do at the moment...

with regard to the knife/fork stuff etc...we just had an experience where we were walking to pick up my son from cubs and we commented about a plane that was tracking up in what appeared to be a straight line... unremarkable really, but then she jerked down as though something was about to hit her on the head...she kept saying 'oh whats that black thing...did you see it oh (again ducks down)' ...couldnt see it...just tried to say oh thats the plane just flying over ...moved on ...i do have trouble understanding these hallucinations both the visual and auditory ones...how do you deal with them?

poppet

 

[poppet]

update...

had ss assessment yeaterday, mil and my hubby there. also pensions services left us forms for attendance allowence.

ss said mil was in low catagory...dont really understand the full details of this...but to say that she can wash/dress/cook/clean/recall when and what meds she can take ...no probs!!! its is more that she often experiences 2 or more 'days' in one of our 'real' days! so could be taking all sorts of meds...

ss goning to sort grab rails , raising loo seat and see if meds can be delivered, gave us info on private care as mil does not fit into the appropriate catagory ...yet!

care homes/nursing homes were discussed but met by a stoney silence! so was apparently skimmed over!

mil seemed a bit more responsive to the private care as the type of help they can provide is far more varied and i think this would be a good thing to start us off...also the fact that this can be paid for with the attendence allowence is even more appealing for her...

ss will be meeting with the specialist dr next week where they will discuss her results (if possible) and then mil and bil will get the results the week after ...so forward we go...

poppet

 

[poppet]

so sad...just to say my mum does have breast cancer...life can be so harsh at times eh?
poppet

 

[jenniferpa]

Oh Poppet I am so sorry. Does she have a plan of treatment yet?

 

[Grannie G]

Dear Poppet, yes it is sad, I`m so sorry. I can only hope it`s been caught in time.

Take care

Love xx

 

[connie]

Dear poppet, thinking of you.
Will say a prayer for your mum. How much more can life throw at her?

Take care, love

 

[poppet]

hi, just to confirm...its my mil with a type of dementia but my mum who has been diagnosed with bc. sorry for the confusion.

a lumpectomy in a few weeks, prob followed by chemo then radiotherapy. apparently its aggressive but responds well to treatment so fingers crossed...will keep you posted...

oh and my son lost his job today ...oh joy!

mil problems ... the same but ongoing...will await thursdays report on results of mri scan...

poppet

 

[poppet]

oh forgot to say thanks connie for the prays...bless you

poppet