Nanna

[dancer10]

Hi,

I'm 9 years old and would really like to speak to somebody who is the same sort of age and has a similar experience. My Nanna lived with us since I was born until I was about 6 but is now in care thanks to Alzheimer's / dementia.

I try to talk to my school friends but they don't understand in the right way.

Does anybody know how I can contact other children who have had a similar experience.

 

[BeckyJan]

Hello dancer and welcome to Talking Point.

I think there are very few members here of your age but I am sure many will make you welcome and support you as best they can.
However my own suggestion is you follow this link which is special for young carers. One of our earlier members recommended it for his own young daughter. Let us know what you think and how you get on.
http://www.youngcarers.net/

With very best wishes

 

[Grannie G]

Hello dancer

I think you must be our youngest member and I`m very sorry you have no one to talk to among your friends about your Nanna.

I think BeckyJan has given you a good idea to try the Young Carers website and if you do you will still be very welcome here.

 

[Noorza]

Hello, I think it is lovely that you are so concerned about your Nanna. I am afraid I am ancient, in my 50's, so that's really old when you are 9.

I have a few ideas if that's OK. You are welcome here because we do understand as many of us have much loved children and grandchildren who we try to help, so please feel free to talk to us oldies.

Can you talk to your teacher? There will be a school nurse at your school, you don't have to be poorly to talk to them, you can talk to them about Nanny, there will be a Special needs co-ordinator at your school, and you don't need to have any special needs yourself, your special need could be because you have a very special nanna who is poorly.

It may be that it is a dinner lady who you really like and get on well with, you could ask for a chat with them. I would bet that the adults could find other people in your school and in other schools who are going through exactly the same thing you are.

You could be the school dementia champion, you are already probably the youngest person on this site, how cool would it be for you to be a part of putting other children in your area together to talk about dementia and how it hurts you. It does hurt, it hurts us oldies and we're supposed to be able to understand it better, for you young people, it would hurt more.

I know your parent is fabulous and supports you, I feel sure you will show your mum this thread so maybe she might go to the school with you to help you link up with other young people if she thinks it might be a good idea.

I think it is wonderful that you care so much and you sound like a fabulous caring young person. We oldies will be here for you too.

 

[sallyc]

Hello dancer10.

I am not your age, I'm 37. But I looked after my Grandad who had Alzheimers Disease. My children are aged 11 and 7 now. They were 6 and 2 when I started looking after him. I am happy to try and answer any questions you might have, and can ask my children for their thoughts if you would like me to.

My daughter did a class assembly last year for her class, about Alzheimers and her Great Grandad. This helped her classmates to understand a little bit more about Alzheimers/Dementia, and how it affected our family.

Unfortunately, my Grandad died at the beginning of this year. It definitely helped my daughter (and me - I work in her year at school) that everyone in her class understood how much her Great Grandad (my Grandad) meant to us, and why. They were all really kind to her when she felt sad.

Please feel free to post again if you think I can help.

p.s I think it's brilliant that you care so much about your Grandad. Well done you x

Also -I'm guessing from your name that you like dancing. We all do dancing too

 

[syc443]

I'm Dancer10's Mum and would like to thank you for all your comments. We have been making lots of contacts in the area and have had some great suggestions but so far each one has led to a dead end. There are lots of adults that she can talk to but it's really children that she wants to speak with - the local alzheimers society have given us lots of ideas too but, unfortunately, with the same results.

She is going to a 'Bitesize Conference' next week so we're hoping that she will make a contact or two there although, again, it is aimed at young people who are slightly older!

The next step will be to contact the local schools to see if there are any groups or the potential for any groups or individuals that we can get together. I'm hoping that this will help give her the support that she feels that she needs.

She can talk to me and her Dad any time and the carers in Mums home are lovely and will and do talk to her but she really wants that interaction with somebody of her own age who understands her feelings from a childs point of view - however hard we try, I don't think that we can put ourselves totally back in that time. The support workers at the Alzheimer's society have also offered but she is adamant that it is somebody of her age that she wants to speak with!!!

 

[Noorza]

Hi Dancer's mum, I do hope that her teachers/schools will be supportive, if they're not try other schools, try contacting nursing homes to see if their residents have grandchildren who would like to talk.

You must be very proud of her.

 

[Izzy]

Good morning and good for you Dancer!

I used o be a primary school headteacher so I hope you'll still talk to me!!

In my school the pupils had access to something called the School and Family Support Service. This allowed children who were worried about something or needed to talk about something to get some help. I can see what your mum means though. It did tend to be adults they spoke with. They did, however, arrange sessions for young carers. I wondered if your school did something similar.

The Bitesize Conference sounds excellent and I hope you get something from that. I can see that you are a very determined young lady and I wish you well with your quest. I can for see you being involved in starting something up yourself - a born leader I would say!

 

[syc443]

Thanks Noorza, I am so, so proud of her. She is such a caring child. She loves visiting Nanna and spending time, not only talking to and helping her Nanna, but talking to the other residents too. Its lovely to see all their faces light up when she walks into the room, and them all waving when we leave.

I just find it so frustrating that we can't find another child for her to share her experiences with. Hopefully the Bitesize conference will help but failing that I will contact the local Academy who I'm told should have a social/nursing department who should be able to assist.

 

[syc443]

Izzy, She loves school so no problems with your being a teacher. Thanks for your helpful comments, we are taking them all on board and hopefully will be able to set the ball rolling very soon.

 

[Izzy]

Izzy, She loves school so no problems with your being a teacher. Thanks for your helpful comments, we are taking them all on board and hopefully will be able to set the ball rolling very soon.

I'm retired now - a year past Christmas but I was a headteacher for 28 years! Our local secondary had very good links with the primary schools. They were always up for providing 'buddies' or learning partners for primary pupils for a variety of reasons. Good luck!