I'm on the verge of a breakdown

[KazzyF]

Terrible to hear she was robbed. I hope you informed the police. Can you get the phone made ex directory?? At least this would stop new callers? I was wondering if you had any joy with social services?? Good luck.


Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point

 

[Badgeman]

She is frightening me. She is threatening to get me beaten up. She is standing outside screaming that she hasn't got Alzheimer's, it's living with a eff, b&t. I can't get near the phone. She stands behind me if I use it. It's been going on since I woke up with her standing at the foot of the bed. She's been screaming at me for 10 hours. I'll need to get a friend to distract her so I can use the phone. I'm very very distressed.

 

[Izzy]

I do hope you can get away to phone for help. Do you have a friend on hand who could distract her?

 

[sistermillicent]

Get out of your house, go to a neighbour and ask them to call the police for you. then you can go back or not. there is no shame in this, it is a fact of life that this happens. Get help for both you and your mum, this is not easy but it is necessary.

 

[Nebiroth]

This sounds awful. Is there really absolutely no chance of going to a neighbour and asking for refuge and use of a telephone.

I do think, I really do, that this situation calls for you ringing emergency services. You need to explain the situation and espescially that you don't feel safe. Your mum is an obvious danger to you and cannot be reasoned with and is probably a risk to herself as well.


I am sorry if this sounds blunt but I think she would be best placed in a mental health unit for assessment.

There is no point in calling social services, you need immediate help and even the social services emergency number won't get you it. Besides someone in your mum's current mental state needs medical help. Social services would probably advise you to ring for an ambulance and probably the police as well.

Once emergency services get involved it becomes an incident that is recorded and will get flagged up to social services. That's much more likely to prompt action than any calls from you.

 

[Nebiroth]

Get out of your house, go to a neighbour and ask them to call the police for you. then you can go back or not. there is no shame in this, it is a fact of life that this happens. Get help for both you and your mum, this is not easy but it is necessary.

I absolutely agree with this. Don't be embarassed if your mum was having a heart attack and you had no phone you would not hesisitate to appeal to a neighbour. Most people are much more understanding than you think they are.

Please please do go to a neighbour and tell them what is happening, ask for refuge and a telephone.

 

[Pickle20]

Yes, ring 999 your mum sounds very poorly at the moment and needs assessment if she is threatening you or herself please call, you should not be alone in this situation or at risk! You should not feel guilty you are doing the best thing. Please call

 

[Laurano]

Hi Badge man , Sorry to sound ignorant but what is an eff b&t ? something about this post doesn't sound genuine, maybe I don't understand fully, and I'm sorry if I'm wrong.

 

[Jessbow]

While she's outside screaming , get on the phone and call for help, 999, for heaven sake. Blow posting on a website!

 

[lizzybean]

Hey Badgeman, how are you. I think there are a lot of concerned people here & we need to know how you both are???

 

[velocity]

I think you could call an Ambulance to help your Mum if you can get the chance to ring. They will attend to her, take her and admit her into hospital. Tell them how you feel, you cannot cope with this situation they will help you both.

 

[Badgeman]

She is much better. I mangled to get some sertraline into her and she calmed down and almost became herself. She has agreed that if she becomes like that again, I am to physical push her out of the room (I really don't wish or want to hurt her in anyway, shape or form, I know she is ill, and she is very ill), and ring the emergency services, and I shall. I don't hate her or feel any negativity towards her (she's my Mum, and she was very kind to me over the years), but when she is lucid, like in this early hour, she goes mad that she abuses me so much. I have a friend, but she has four children, however, she will help me to distract my Mum whilst I ring social services, but it may not, due to her children, be in the next two days. I don't wish to be cruel to her, even though her illness has made her very cruel to me.

I pray for the future, and thank the support of the forum.

 

[Badgeman]

I was trying to be polite, and I was in a bit of a tizz. I'm afraid they stand for swear words beginning if F, B & t. I didn't want to swear on the forum. I hope you understand.

 

[Badgeman]

The next time your mother behaves with such violence to you please phone the police. It is the advice given to me when my husband was aggressive.

I understand she cannot help her behaviour because of her illness but you should not be expected to tolerate being threatened with a knife either.

If you cannot get access to your phone, go to a neighbour for help.

Thank you., you have no idea how much the forums have helped me. My neighbours pretend my Mum doesn't exist like it's catching, and are always too busy to help. I am ignored myself. Worse comes to worse I think I may do a 24 hr delivery on a portable phone from amazon. That way I can plug it in the spare socket, and I don't think she'll know. Thank you, and everybody who has replied in my plight.

 

[Badgeman]

I would suggest you do not ring 999 badge man. If you look in the yellow pages or phone book you will get hold of social services. I would make your emotional state known to them. You do eventually find one who cares


Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point

Thank you and God bless everybody who has replied. I am very worried about being homeless and I know it's stupid, but I have a Siamese cat, and I couldn't live without her, thus I worry that I will lose her. I thank everybody on the forum for being so understanding. I'm still getting used to posting and I'm sure I'll get it right in the end.

 

[Badgeman]

I would welcome opinions.

I don't know who to contact first... The ss, GP, or Age UK? That's is my only quandary. I think with the most deepest sincerity how much I thank everybody who has replied to my situation and have been so understanding.

 

[Jessbow]

Don't push her anywhere- pushing could be construed as abuse. You dont want to go down that route.

If she's running around screaming, waving knifes etc etc, you just ring 999 and get help.

 

[susy]

It doesn't matter who you contact first. I would imagine it would be best to contact age uk to give you advice on what to say to the GP and social services and have them tell you about how the system works. Then ring the GP and then ring social services.
Good luck, and I agree about pushing your mum could be seen as abuse, it could also either hurt her physically or could give rise to her behaviour escalating, making her even more violent.

 

[Badgeman]

It doesn't matter who you contact first. I would imagine it would be best to contact age uk to give you advice on what to say to the GP and social services and have them tell you about how the system works. Then ring the GP and then ring social services.
Good luck, and I agree about pushing your mum could be seen as abuse, it could also either hurt her physically or could give rise to her behaviour escalating, making her even more violent.

I thank you. My Mum is quite herself at the moment, and if it lasts she would tell her history to age concern, and be quite okay about it. She has been lucid for a few hours now, and I think she is going to be okay for a couple of days (but I can't be sure) and she seems to want to stop the abuse towards me (which I assure you all is quite bad). I agree, but I would never push her in the violent sense though. However, it probably would be better if I waited for a portable phone, or when I can get my friend to distract her whilst I phone age concern. I assure the people on this forum I would never physically harm my Mum. I just mean it would be better if I pushed myself past her harmlessly (she stands over me like a hawk) just to get her some help. She really needs proper medication and proper help, and better medication.

 

[Nebiroth]

The problem I see is that

1) You are going to be eternally walking with this sword of Damocles haning over your head, you will never know when the next "incident" will happen. For many people living in fear of the next episode is worse than dealing with the episodes when they happen

2) There is a very real risk that it will happen without warning and your mum could decide to for example take a knife to you as the first thing she does

3) She will not remember anything she agrees to in her lucid moments

4) "pushing her out of the room" is (and I don't wish to sound blunt) a dreadful idea. When your mum is in what I will describe as one of these psychotic episodes the last thing you want to do is something as provocative as that

My suggestion would be:

Obtain a cheap mobile phone with th eleast expensive contract you can find - probably a "pay as you use" one. Carry this at all times.

Find a room in the house and ensure it is lockable, an inside bolt will do


When this happens again and it almost certainly will...lock yourself inside your "safe" room and call emergency services. DON'T confront your mum as it is a situation for professionals.