He actually hit her...... I'm sick with anger.

[Katrine]

I wouldn't lose any sleep over what FIL wants. He behaved badly the last time he saw MIL, and seems only to want to see her to go on controlling and belittling her. I think it's been his main source of entertainment.

While he was able to 'show her up' he probably felt the dementia spotlight was all on her and not on him. Now he's under supervision 24/7 his own needs can be addressed, not as the problem bully in a vulnerable couple but as an individual. I see the separation as win-win.

I am so glad to hear that the CH staff are managing this in such a professional manner, and that MIL is able to relax with people who are treating her with respect and kindness.

 

[KazzyF]

I hope things carry on like this. You seem to have picked an amazing CH


Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point

 

[Tatiana]

My dear MiL is so much happier. We popped in just now but didn't stay, as there was singing and scrabble going on in the main lounge downstairs and FiL was there with MiL. We didn't want to intrude on their bit of supervised time together - we'll go back after lunch. One of the Carers said to us as we were leaving - 'She's blossomed since she's been down here, away from him. She's less nervous, she's chattier, her speech is clearer and she seems less tired. Also, she's saying 'No' to seeing him quite often now, and whilst he's not happy about it and has said so, this is really the best solution for MiL. And we all love her, she's such a lovely, warm person....'
The staff have been wonderful - I'm so, so glad we picked this home for them.

 

[griffy]

I am glad your MIL has settled in her new environment and now you can enjoy your visits and not have to worry so much.

 

[Lindy50]

It's great to hear that your MIL is so much better, and that FIL will also get the attention he needs.

What a brilliant care home It's great to hear that they do exist .....I'd like to give a big shout-out to all the dedicated professional carers out there, some of whom offer great care for very little financial reward