Struggling

Florence.

Registered User
Nov 7, 2012
116
0
I'm new at this. My husband has vascular dementia and is also disabled. When his dementia was diagnosed and when it got worse, I felt very depressed and stressed, overwhelmed with so many things to take on board. I tried this Talking Point once, at the time, to say how depressed I felt but someone, kindly meant, came on to say, don't get depressed, it will pass. I was at my wits end at the time and it put me off! I have subsequently followed and read the various topics and found all of it very helpful, so I'm having another go!

My current question is, what to do with the never ending conversations of where is he, where is this place, has he been committed, have I been committed with him!! This isn't our house, his room. A lot of this is at 3 or 5am. Please can someone advise. What do any of you do??

Thanks for listening and reading this. I wish all carers the very best. It's such a tough job. We need each other!

Florence
 

Ann Mac

Registered User
Oct 17, 2013
3,693
0
Hi Florence,

I'm guessing that you have had the possibility of a UTI, or some other infection, ruled out, so this is likely to be sundowning, something that affects my Mil (mum in law), and sadly, an awful lot of others who have this dreadful condition. Despite its name implying that it tends to happen late afternoon or early evening, from reading the posts on here, and from experience, it can happen at any time - a period of increased confusion, often accompanied by persistent requests to 'go home', unable to recognise that they are home and with people who know them and care.

In Mils case, the effects of this were really helped by medication. her consultant and GP prescribed resperidone, and though it hasn't stopped it completely, its sort of 'toned' it down from what it was, when she could be agitated and extremely confused, coupled with verbal aggression, for periods of up to 22 hours. There are other medications available too, and it may take a little while to hit on one that will help, but so worth speaking to your GP/Memory clinic or CPN for advice and help.

I really hope that this helps a little - I know how exhausting this is xxxx
 

Eleonora

Registered User
Dec 21, 2012
170
0
Abingdon Oxfordshire
I'm new at this. My husband has vascular dementia and is also disabled. When his dementia was diagnosed and when it got worse, I felt very depressed and stressed, overwhelmed with so many things to take on board. I tried this Talking Point once, at the time, to say how depressed I felt but someone, kindly meant, came on to say, don't get depressed, it will pass. I was at my wits end at the time and it put me off! I have subsequently followed and read the various topics and found all of it very helpful, so I'm having another go!

My current question is, what to do with the never ending conversations of where is he, where is this place, has he been committed, have I been committed with him!! This isn't our house, his room. A lot of this is at 3 or 5am. Please can someone advise. What do any of you do??

Thanks for listening and reading this. I wish all carers the very best. It's such a tough job. We need each other!

Florence

Oh Florence, I'm so sorry that you were disappointed with your earlier visit to T.P.
The Forums do take a little getting used to, because we are all at different stages of caring; and no two Dementia/Alzheimer's sufferers suffer in exactly the same way; although there are similarities.

What, (to someone who has recently begun to care) might seem like an insurmountable problem; can appear, (to someone coping further down the line) to be something that they know will soon pass.

Now, the repetitious questions. Yep! They can, (and quite possibly will), drive you nuts.

We arrived back in UK a year ago, after 20 happy years in France; and my OH has still very little idea of where he is.
I do try to answer his questions as honestly as possible.

You can, quite honestly, assure your O.H. that he has definitely not been committed. I'd show him that he can walk about quite freely; open the front door to show him that there is nothing to stop either of you walking out if you wanted to.
If he has still got a sense of humour, you might make a joke of it - I do when my O.H. comes out with something daft.

My husband doubted for months that it was our home, but I showed him the old familiar furniture, and the addressed envelopes that arrived by post, all with our names on them.

For us, distraction seems to be the best way to get away from the never-ending questions. Even if it is three o'clock in the morning, I get up, and make the ubiquitous,
life-saving cup of tea for us both.
He likes me to read to him, so I suggest that a chapter from our current book will help us both to sleep, and with any luck, his mind will move elsewhere.
 
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Florence.

Registered User
Nov 7, 2012
116
0
Thank you

Eleonara, you seem to have true understanding of the problem and I will try the things you suggest. Unfortunately I'm not able to get my husband to walk about as his disability precludes it but I could explain to him.

Thank you for your advice.
Best wishes
Florence
=Eleonora;921978]Oh Florence, I'm so sorry that you were disappointedab with your earlier visit to T.P.
The Forums do take a little getting used to, because we are all at different stages of caring; and no two Dementia/Alzheimer's sufferers suffer in exactly the same way; although there are similarities.

What, (to someone who has recently begun to care) might seem like an insurmountable problem; can appear, (to someone coping further down the line) to be something that they know will soon pass.

Now, the repetitious questions. Yep! They can, (and quite possibly will), drive you nuts.

We arrived back in UK a year ago, after 20 happy years in France; and my OH has still very little idea of where he is.
I do try to answer his questions as honestly as possible.

You can, quite honestly, assure your O.H. that he has definitely not been committed. I'd show him that he can walk about quite freely; open the front door to show him that there is nothing to stop either of you walking out if you wanted to.
If he has still got a sense of humour, you might make a joke of it - I do when my O.H. comes out with something daft.

My husband doubted for months that it was our home, but I showed him the old familiar furniture, and the addressed envelopes that arrived by post, all with our names on them.

For us, distraction seems to be the best way to get away from the never-ending questions. Even if it is three o'clock in the morning, I get up, and make the ubiquitous,
life-saving cup of tea for us both.
He likes me to read to him, so I suggest that a chapter from our current book will help us both to sleep, and with any luck, his mind will move elsewhere.[/QUOTE]
 

Scarlett123

Registered User
Apr 30, 2013
3,802
0
Essex
Hi Florence, and a warm return-welcome to TP. :) John has dramatically deteriorated during the last year or so, and things that worked well last summer, don't work now. I used to answer the endless questions truthfully, but this often caused even more distress. Now I give either a non-committal "erm" to questions, but more often than not, I lie beautifully! :D There's lying, white lies, and Alzheimer's lies.

You might have read on here that John informed me recently that "Mrs Thatcher's here". I went into the hall, and spoke to the wall, saying "How lovely to see you Margaret, but we really can't entertain you at the moment, but thank you for calling". Then I opened and shut the front door calling "By-ee!". John was really pleased with that response.

This week he said Oliver Reed was here. But that afternoon, he informed the Crossroads Bath Lady that Oliver Cromwell visited! He asked today if I wanted to spend the money we'd won (he thinks we've won £24,000 or £30,000 "on the computer") and I said that I'd get a bar of chocolate, and he said that was fine.

Last year, I'd have said "Mrs Thatcher wouldn't come here, and she's dead", but "the truth" which worked then, doesn't work now.

This afternoon, I went into the garage for a good cry, whilst he was asleep, because he told me I'm a mean old woman, who just wants to upset him, and doesn't do a thing for him, all with a look of thunder on his face.

Sweetie, I've succumbed to a low dose of Diazepan. I don't take this every day, but just when banging my head, hard, into a brick wall appears to be a great option.;) Keep posting on here, and you'll find tons of support and barrels of love. :)
 
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Sunny7

Registered User
Nov 28, 2013
13
0
West Sussex
Hi Florence, and a warm return-welcome to TP. :) John has dramatically deteriorated during the last year or so, and things that worked well last summer, don't work now. I used to answer the endless questions truthfully, but this often caused even more distress. Now I give either a non-committal "erm" to questions, but more often than not, I lie beautifully! :D There's lying, white lies, and Alzheimer's lies.

You might have read on here that John informed me recently that "Mrs Thatcher's here". I went into the hall, and spoke to the wall, saying "How lovely to see you Margaret, but we really can't entertain you at the moment, but thank you for calling". Then I opened and shut the front door calling "By-ee!". John was really pleased with that response.

This week he said Oliver Reed was here. But that afternoon, he informed the Crossroads Bath Lady that Oliver Cromwell visited! He asked today if I wanted to spend the money we'd won (he thinks we've won £24,000 or £30,000 "on the computer") and I said that I'd get a bar of chocolate, and he said that was fine.

Last year, I'd have said "Mrs Thatcher wouldn't come here, and she's dead", but "the truth" which worked then, doesn't work now.

This afternoon, I went into the garage for a good cry, whilst he was asleep, because he told me I'm a mean old woman, who just wants to upset him, and doesn't do a thing for him, all with a look of thunder on his face.

Sweetie, I've succumbed to a low dose of Diazepan. I don't take this every day, but just when banging my head, hard, into a brick wall appears to be a great option.;) Keep posting on here, and you'll find tons of support and barrels of love. :)

I cried when I read that you went in to the garage for a cry..I bawled my eyes out this morning in the kitchen.. completely and utterly broke down.. my mother says the most awful things to me sometimes and today was no exception. It is so hard to hear it even if we know they don't know they are saying it. Years ago I was nursing on a psycho-geriatric ward as they were then called and it was my secondment during training.. it was the hardest 4 months of my 3 years SRN training, seriously and it was so much easier than what I am doing now. The big obvious difference is that you are not emotionally attached to your patients .. yes you care about them and yes you are affected by them but you walked out those gates and that was it.. you were in off duty mode and out of a night on the town with your mates.. yes back there the next day but only for 8 hours. What we do as carers for our family members goes beyond the call of duty! No one I don't care who they are .. will have an understanding of what it is we endure in the deep sadness of watching our loved ones detiorate mentally, to see relationships that we once had with them wither away and that role we once held with them has changed beyond all recognition.. unless that is they have experienced themselves.

Today my mother accused me of stealing all her money, having what I wanted from her.. and accused my children too of the same.. my son has been a godsend and I don't know what I would have done without him this past 18 months or so as he has been having to care for me and mum at times when I was ill last year.. he is the most patient with her out of myself and my daughter.. and to hear her tarnishing his good name hurt me more than it does when she says things about me. It is so hard and yet I think the advice you gave Florence was heartfelt and it touched me. I wanted you to know that... it helped to read your response which I sensed come across in a such a caring way that it reached out I am sure to many.
 

truth24

Registered User
Oct 13, 2013
5,725
0
North Somerset
I think it comes to the point when you get so depressed that you might need some medical assistance. I'm afraid I have taken Citalapram for a year now and recently had my dose doubled. That, together with 3 months of counselling arranged by the Crossroads carer assessment team, has NEARLY returned me to my normal optimistic self but it's still very difficult to cope with when you are hurt by nasty comments over and over again even tho you know that it's the AD talking. Sorry, have turned this post into me me again when I was just trying to say don't be afraid to ask your GP for help. They are usually pretty sympathetic to us carers.

Sent from my GT-N5110 using Talking Point mobile app
 

cragmaid

Registered User
Oct 18, 2010
7,936
0
North East England
Hi, I'm lucky because I "only" have my Mum to contend with, and much less so since she's now in a CH, but......I learned eventually to agree with Mum, wherever possible.....so a "Where am I, this is not my room, I'm locked in" gets answered with a " it's nice here...the wallpaper's pretty...let's sleep here for tonight and find a way out tomorrow". As always it is trial and error.:D
Mind, I never have to cope with it at 2 am.:rolleyes::rolleyes::D
 

Florence.

Registered User
Nov 7, 2012
116
0
Many thanks

Thank you for your helpful advice Scarlett.
Does swearing in the garage count. The air is blue sometimes. Goodness knows what the neighbours think! When I've been up to my eyes in soiled bedding, bedside mats, clothing etc. at 5am out there, I've also cried and then put my coping face back on, like we all do. Maggie Thatcher eh? Can I swap Coronation Street and football for that, neither of which I'm interested in but my husbands obsessed! Bad enough to have a conversation that makes no sense about these things but then it starts all over again because he's forgotten! Some parts of the day can be fine but the worst times are in the middle of the night and early morning. I've been up since 5am today trying to explain where he is to him, he realised about 11 but we will start all over again tonight. I have a lot to learn and will keep on this Talk Point as it is so helpful. I love him so much and like everyone, am determined to do my best but the future frightens me. I am trying to take one day at a time. Thank you for your help and I wish you every blessing.
Florence x


Hi Florence, and a warm return-welcome to TP. :) John has dramatically deteriorated during the last year or so, and things that worked well last summer, don't work now. I used to answer the endless questions truthfully, but this often caused even more distress. Now I give either a non-committal "erm" to questions, but more often than not, I lie beautifully! :D There's lying, white lies, and Alzheimer's lies.

You might have read on here that John informed me recently that "Mrs Thatcher's here". I went into the hall, and spoke to the wall, saying "How lovely to see you Margaret, but we really can't entertain you at the moment, but thank you for calling". Then I opened and shut the front door calling "By-ee!". John was really pleased with that response.

This week he said Oliver Reed was here. But that afternoon, he informed the Crossroads Bath Lady that Oliver Cromwell visited! He asked today if I wanted to spend the money we'd won (he thinks we've won £24,000 or £30,000 "on the computer") and I said that I'd get a bar of chocolate, and he said that was fine.

Last year, I'd have said "Mrs Thatcher wouldn't come here, and she's dead", but "the truth" which worked then, doesn't work now.

This afternoon, I went into the garage for a good cry, whilst he was asleep, because he told me I'm a mean old woman, who just wants to upset him, and doesn't do a thing for him, all with a look of thunder on his face.

Sweetie, I've succumbed to a low dose of Diazepan. I don't take this every day, but just when banging my head, hard, into a brick wall appears to be a great option.;) Keep posting on here, and you'll find tons of support and barrels of love. :)
 

Sunny7

Registered User
Nov 28, 2013
13
0
West Sussex
I'm new at this. My husband has vascular dementia and is also disabled. When his dementia was diagnosed and when it got worse, I felt very depressed and stressed, overwhelmed with so many things to take on board. I tried this Talking Point once, at the time, to say how depressed I felt but someone, kindly meant, came on to say, don't get depressed, it will pass. I was at my wits end at the time and it put me off! I have subsequently followed and read the various topics and found all of it very helpful, so I'm having another go!

My current question is, what to do with the never ending conversations of where is he, where is this place, has he been committed, have I been committed with him!! This isn't our house, his room. A lot of this is at 3 or 5am. Please can someone advise. What do any of you do??

Thanks for listening and reading this. I wish all carers the very best. It's such a tough job. We need each other!

Florence

Yes Florence we do all need each other so much! Just knowing that someone is out there who knows what you are feeling, although yes as others have said, no two cases will be the same with regards to how the loss of their mental acuities affects each individual. Coping tactics for me with my mum are that I change the subject most of the time.... sometimes though I just have not got it in me and I break down and cry my eyes out and it releases the tension and I can get on with it again.. the night times are the worst I think.. getting up and soothing them when they are lost or confused and its 3am is no joke! I find some days I am so damn tired that I can barely cope with the day and am afraid to sit down on the sofa for fear of falling asleep.. I can't go to bed until my mum is in bed and even then I am 'listening out' all night .. its like when the children were small and if they slept all night and did not wake for a feed you were afraid that something had happened to them.. even though you were desperate for sleep.. to me its akin to that.

I am sick of hearing the same questions over and over and over and sometimes I think I will scream. It is helpful here to know we are not alone though and like you I have posted a few times and reached out and no one has come forward but I did find solace in reading the posts and just seeing others were going through similar situations helped me. I do think now though that I need to make better use of the services and charities out there. Until recently I have managed her care without assistance from outside the home. We are all doing our very best and we are not infallable.. we will get frustrated and upset and we need to give ourselves permission to feel all those things and forgive ourselves and not feel guilty for being human.

Take care x
 

Florence.

Registered User
Nov 7, 2012
116
0
A hug for you

If I could see you I would put out my hand and say "put it there" as we are so similar in our feelings. Sometimes it's.just not worth getting into bed any more. The one ear open is always there. I find incontinence a big problem to cope with. He tries so hard but can't help it and when I'm half blind with tiredness and changing him yet again, it's hard in the middle of the night. I tried to get some rest this morning and prayed I could but came the cry "mummy!" Because he was lost in his mind. I've been married to this man for 42 years and it breaks my heart to see what he has become. Me and everyone else dealing with this awful illness. I'll fight like a tiger to keep him at home but who will go under first, I don't know. I wish you courage and love In your struggle. We all need to know we are not alone.
Florence x


Yes Florence we do all need each other so much! Just knowing that someone is out there who knows what you are feeling, although yes as others have said, no two cases will be the same with regards to how the loss of their mental acuities affects each individual. Coping tactics for me with my mum are that I change the subject most of the time.... sometimes though I just have not got it in me and I break down and cry my eyes out and it releases the tension and I can get on with it again.. the night times are the worst I think.. getting up and soothing them when they are lost or confused and its 3am is no joke! I find some days I am so damn tired that I can barely cope with the day and am afraid to sit down on the sofa for fear of falling asleep.. I can't go to bed until my mum is in bed and even then I am 'listening out' all night .. its like when the children were small and if they slept all night and did not wake for a feed you were afraid that something had happened to them.. even though you were desperate for sleep.. to me its akin to that.

I am sick of hearing the same questions over and over and over and sometimes I think I will scream. It is helpful here to know we are not alone though and like you I have posted a few times and reached out and no one has come forward but I did find solace in reading the posts and just seeing others were going through similar situations helped me. I do think now though that I need to make better use of the services and charities out there. Until recently I have managed her care without assistance from outside the home. We are all doing our very best and we are not infallable.. we will get frustrated and upset and we need to give ourselves permission to feel all those things and forgive ourselves and not feel guilty for being human.

Take care x
 

Sunny7

Registered User
Nov 28, 2013
13
0
West Sussex
If I could see you I would put out my hand and say "put it there" as we are so similar in our feelings. Sometimes it's.just not worth getting into bed any more. The one ear open is always there. I find incontinence a big problem to cope with. He tries so hard but can't help it and when I'm half blind with tiredness and changing him yet again, it's hard in the middle of the night. I tried to get some rest this morning and prayed I could but came the cry "mummy!" Because he was lost in his mind. I've been married to this man for 42 years and it breaks my heart to see what he has become. Me and everyone else dealing with this awful illness. I'll fight like a tiger to keep him at home but who will go under first, I don't know. I wish you courage and love In your struggle. We all need to know we are not alone.
Florence x

And my hand is reaching out to you too Florence. It is a terrible terrible disease and I hope and pray by the time I am my mother's age that they have either come up with a cure or legalised euthanasia because I never want my children to go through what I do. I have told them both I am not expecting either of them to look after me.. that I am willing to go into a care home and that they must not feel guilty about that. My mum said the same to me though years ago and now I feel as guilty as hell just thinking about it these last few days.

My GP has offered me anti depressants but I am a therapist and I don't want to go on them.. I use self hypnosis and meditate to keep as calm as I can but there are times when I feel so wound up I could scream and scream.. today I wanted to run away as far as my tank of petrol would take me! Other days she is okay and I feel more able to cope.

I feel so sad for you that this is your husband and all that you have shared together. Cwtch (Welsh hug) x
 

Scarlett123

Registered User
Apr 30, 2013
3,802
0
Essex
I do hope so much, Florence, that you can feel all the support from kindred spirits on here. As others have rightly said, nobody knows what we go through, caring for someone we've been with for decades, and who once made our heart sing, who has now turned into a stranger.:(

When I'm up in the night, changing sheets, because John removes his sodden incontinence pants, gets back into bed without them, and then wets the bed, I shall think of you.

It's my birthday next week, and he has no idea, and no interest. His world and mine revolve around him, which is fine if you're young, fit and a blushing bride, and your hubby has Man Flu. How nice to play at being Florence Nightingale and lay a cool hand on his fevered brow! But after nearly 50 years together, Miss Nightingale has now become an old bird!

I sleep on a 2 seater settee because it is opposite the kitchen (we live in a bungalow), and John likes to indulge himself in nocturnal cuisine. As he switches the light on, it wakes me up - that's if I've had the chance to get to sleep. Invariably he wants toast, and it's such fun doing this at 3 in the morning, and then finding he's nodded off in the armchair, toast forgotten.

Now when he asks me for the millionth time "Is it morning/afternoon/evening?", I say "it's whatever time you want it to be". We all feel for you sweetie, and I'd second the suggestion that you have a chat with your GP. Do you get any break at all? John goes to a Day Centre 6 days a week for a few hours, when I can catch up on sleep.

I've made you a virtual chocolate cake as well, so have a few slices in the wee small hours. :)
 

LYN T

Registered User
Aug 30, 2012
6,958
0
Brixham Devon
For everyone who has posted on this thread-well a big hug to everyone.

Depression is a terrible thing and I hope people find the help that they need-whether through counseling or tablets or crying in the garage. My Husband is now in a CH but sleep still doesn't come easy. I've never managed to get my sleep pattern right again.
It's the constant sadness that gets me down. Thinking that life shouldn't be like this.
Hating to see Pete slip deeper into the mire. Wanting him to find peace and feeling guilty about having those thoughts. Wondering why such a lovely person is suffering so much. Even (I know this sounds bad) thinking 'why Pete, why not G' (ex Husband-NOT a nice person)

Life isn't fair

To anyone who comes on TP and who doesn't get a response-an apology.Please, please try again-I'm sure you will find terrific support here.

I hope your days are ok

Take care

Lyn T
 

jellyfish

Registered User
Apr 30, 2014
181
0
West Midlands
Hi Florence, I too fight like a tiger to keep my husband at home and my family together (we have a 12 year old) but oh boy is it tough. The relentless soiled clothes and bed linen wear me out without anything else and I too have very low times. I think this comes with the territory of caring when you cope with a loved one with this awful illness. The feelings of grief and loss of what you had or may have had in the future can be overwhelming.I have found talking point really helps me and I hope you find it as helpful to you. Kindest wishes xx
 

Florence.

Registered User
Nov 7, 2012
116
0
I'm with you!

Oh Scarlett, it's so helpful to communicate with others in the same situation. Thank you for the chocolate cake - it was delicious! The thing I find difficult about incontinence is not showing any reaction to "accidents" other than love and understanding, which is hard when the bedding has just been changed! I've got used to cleaning him up now, which was easier once I'd geared myself up with all the necessary stuff to clean him carpets etc. etc. I'm sure you know the one! If I say I'm lucky in some respects it will sound strange but because my husband can't walk without help he can't wander. Falls are the thing I dread as it takes him ages to recover. He's also not able to use the cooker so that helps. It's very hard for us all, each at different stages, not knowing what's coming next. I'm better when the goal post moves now. The psychiatrist suggested a 24hr clock so he would know if it was morning or evening but he still gets me up in the night, having looked at the clock, to ask! Thank you for your support, everyone. Again, it's so nice to be in touch with those who truly understand, the way only a carer can, what it's like to live with this terrible disease.
Florence x


I do hope so much, Florence, that you can feel all the support from kindred spirits on here. As others have rightly said, nobody knows what we go through, caring for someone we've been with for decades, and who once made our heart sing, who has now turned into a stranger.:(

When I'm up in the night, changing sheets, because John removes his sodden incontinence pants, gets back into bed without them, and then wets the bed, I shall think of you.

It's my birthday next week, and he has no idea, and no interest. His world and mine revolve around him, which is fine if you're young, fit and a blushing bride, and your hubby has Man Flu. How nice to play at being Florence Nightingale and lay a cool hand on his fevered brow! But after nearly 50 years together, Miss Nightingale has now become an old bird!

I sleep on a 2 seater settee because it is opposite the kitchen (we live in a bungalow), and John likes to indulge himself in nocturnal cuisine. As he switches the light on, it wakes me up - that's if I've had the chance to get to sleep. Invariably he wants toast, and it's such fun doing this at 3 in the morning, and then finding he's nodded off in the armchair, toast forgotten.

Now when he asks me for the millionth time "Is it morning/afternoon/evening?", I say "it's whatever time you want it to be". We all feel for you sweetie, and I'd second the suggestion that you have a chat with your GP. Do you get any break at all? John goes to a Day Centre 6 days a week for a few hours, when I can catch up on sleep.

I've made you a virtual chocolate cake as well, so have a few slices in the wee small hours. :)
 

Scarlett123

Registered User
Apr 30, 2013
3,802
0
Essex
To anyone who comes on TP and who doesn't get a response-an apology.Please, please try again-I'm sure you will find terrific support here.

I hope your days are ok

Take care

Lyn T


This is such good advice. :) If anyone has posted, and hasn't received a response, it may be because we're all up to our elbows in urine-soaked sheets, :( crying our eyes out in the garage, :(:( or endeavouring not to scream when asked "what's the time?" for the millionth time, :mad: and just can't get online.

May I extend the hand of friendship, if anyone hasn't received a response, to PM me, and I'll be happy to reply, as soon as I can. We're all foot soldiers in this dreadful war, and need our comrades so much. :)
 

Welsh Colleen

Registered User
Mar 23, 2009
13
0
Wales
Hi Florence and everyone else posting.
I too don't use this site often, but always feel so better after doing so. As an ex nurse I should be able to cope..ha ha, and I now teach Dementia Awareness to care homes.

The difference is when the shift is over we/they can have a rest, go and have fun. Our shift is non stop.

There are so many of us struggling with this disease, and usually we can cope but at 3,4,5 am changing sheets, or calming our OH, Mum or Dad, or just again going over the same questions, it's sooooo hard.:( I too retreat for a good cry or stabbing a potato...feels good).
It's the early hours and lack of sleep that get us. Watching our loved ones be taken away from us, and having to accept our lives and relationships are/have changed. My OH & I have spent 38 years together. Most nights he thinks I'm a carer, but he also knows I'm his wife.
During the day I can cope but at night. I do find Kalms help when it's really bad.

Big hugs to all.

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain."
― Vivian Greene
 

truth24

Registered User
Oct 13, 2013
5,725
0
North Somerset
What an apt quote Welsh Colleen. Will stay with me (as long as I
can remember it!)
Sent from my GT-N5110 using Talking Point mobile app
 

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