Diagnosis Advice Please

[Laserbaby]

Hi,

I am new to this site and would welcome any advice given.

Our mother has problems which we assume is Alzheimer's though she absolutely refuses to be diagnosed. Our father is her main carer.

Last year our father had an incident which resulted in him being hospitalised miles away from home. This was out of character for him and since this time he has not been right - too many numerous other things have occurred to mention.

He is definitely not safe to drive (he is 78 this year).

We have spoken to the family GP who refuses to do anything, according to the GP our father is fine (but he does not see or speak to him on a day to day basis as we do). Unless we go to the GP with our father, the GP's hands are tied and the chances of us getting father down to the doctors is very remote, as he is in denial.

What other options do we have available to us? Both of our parents are vulnerable and we are very concerned about their wellbeing.

Any helpful advice much appreciated.

 

[stanleypj]

Hi Laserbaby, and welcome to TP.

The situation you describe has some features that other members will have experienced. Having one parent with dementia is difficult enough but when the other parent (whom we would normally think of as the carer) also has dementia or some other kind of difficulty, the problems are compounded greatly.

GPs often seem reluctant to get involved with people who, according to their loved ones, are 'in denial'. People have sometimes found it helpful to keep a log of all those things that you refer to which lead you to believe that your dad has serious problems. You could send this log with an accompanying letter or visit the GP and talk it through.

You might also consider getting advice from the Admiral Nurses:

http://www.dementiauk.org/information-support/admiral-nursing-direct/

I'm sure you will also get help and support from members who read your post.

 

[Laserbaby]

Thank you for your response.

That link is going to be useful, we had not heard of that organisation.

Any further advice welcomed

 

[sheila55]

Hi!
We had the same problem with Mum who was completely in denial. My sister and I made two appointments with her GP. At the first one, in the morning, we went without Mum and explained the whole problem to the GP. At the afternoon appointment we took Mum along, having told her that the surgery were having a "well woman clinic for people over 75". The GP was happy to go along with this and in the course of the general check up she did a memory test. Don't know if you could do something similar. Good luck.

 

[JayGun]

Also, the community mental health nurses can come out and do a preliminary assessment.

In the meantime, keep a log of how they're doing, any problems and incidents.

You can write to their GP and fill him in about what's happening.

Many people with dementia are adamant that there's nothing wrong. We challenged my MIL to have the courage of her convictions to get her to the doctors, we said "prove us wrong. If the doctor agrees you're give we'll shut up. If he finds a problem then you'll do what he says."

It worked on her particular personality.

 

[Laserbaby]

Thanks to both of you for the info, I have made notes of all the advice in readiness for the challenge. I shall be visiting our parents tonight, and will call into their next door neighbour whilst there who is also very concerned about their wellbeing.