Urgent advice needed please on behavioural issues

[JaniceF]

Hi - not posted since my original post back in May when we had just found out my dad has likely got dementia of sorts. He also has Parkinson's Disease. We are still waiting for referal to physciatric (sp?) unit for formal diagnosis and to learn extent of problem. Been in touch with Social Services but no formal help or advice yet given .

Back in May my dad had a 'physcotic' episode where he just kept trying to leave the house all the time and his balance was so bad that it wasn't good for him to do so. We ended up having to dial 999 to get assistance and they took him to hospital and turns out he had severe kidney infection which they treated with antibiotics and he improved with his behaviour.

He has done some very bizarre things since then. On the whole he is OK but sometimes not - like being in the garage at the back of the house dressed in shorts which he wet so he simply took them off and carried on pottering around the garage starkers

Anyway, this evening his behaviour appears to be turning unreasonable again. I have 3 young kids and cannot rush to help my mum as my hubbie is at work until at least 11pm. At 7pm he insisted that he wanted to go on the bus to B & Q which is in the next town and closes at 8pm. He wouldn't listen to reason and set off to the bus stop. My mum has managed to get him home where he wanted to ring for a taxi to take him but she managed to get him to realise it was too late to get there in time and had promised to take him first thing in the morning. Hopefully, he will not insist on doing anymore unreasonable things tonight and my mum has brought him round to her thinking.

But what do we do if we cannot reason with him?? What happens if, like the last time, he is not fit to be outside but fights us (literally) to get out where he is likely to be a danger to himself and others? How do we stop him if we cannot physically help him to do what he wants to do?

My mum is so desparate to manage him at home and she can most of the time but I am not sure for how long.

Just knowing the right way to do things to keep his frustrations at bay may help or knowing what to do if he turns violent again would also be helpful unfortunately.

Thank you all for any advice you can give.

Janice

 

[jenniferpa]

Hi Janice

The first thing I would get checked is whether or not he has another UTI (urinary tract infection). As you have seen in the past, this sort of thing can cause a distinct downturn in behaviour and is very, very common.

Hopefully someone can give you some practical suggestions for stopping the "escapes"

 

[Lynne]

Janice

Social Services should have a local emergency phone number - If your SS office doesn't have an answerphone which tells it to you, I should think the Samaritans (they are not just for suicides!), the NHS on-call service, or perhaps even the nearest hospital Casualty/A&E Dept. might be able to give it to you over the phone. Or the Police.

You may have to explain the circumstances (briefly) to get co-operation - say that your Dad suffers from dementia and has suddenly started to wander, putting himself & your Mum in danger. Take the name of the person/s you speak to; if they think you may 'blame' them if an accident occurs, they are more likely to sit up & take notice. There ARE good people about, but also some who try to fob you off.

Good luck - let us know how things turn out once the crisis is over, as your experience may help someone else in similar circumstances one day.

 

[Skye]

Janice, your experience sounds so similar to my recent experience with my husband. That too has turned out to be a UTI, although there were no signs of it until today. (See my thread I can't do this........)

I've had enormous help from SS. Please try them again, and stress that your dad is vulnerable -- as is your mum.

Help is there, but you really have to push for it.

Good luck,

 

[JaniceF]

Thank you so much for the replies. Apparently he is still pottering around the cellar and mum is trying to get him to come up and settle for the night but this is normal routine. Hopefully she will have a reasonable night and we will see how his behaviour is in the morning and get him to the out of hours doctor service to test his urine and get anti biotics if necessary. He also has a deep cut on his shin which is going red round it so am convinced his body is infected.

Will be onto Social Services again on Monday pushing things so long as we survice the weekend without having to call emergency services in.

Hazel - big hugs to you. Hopefully things will improve for you very soon and thanks for taking the time to reply and help us.