as i have just joined i do not know where to start or to begin as this is new for me , my dad is currentley in residential care as he has vascular dementia , this last 2 to 3 years has been hard for my sisters and my self to try to cope with, we did alot on a daily basis with in the end what you could call help from a care company , you see me my two sisters and my brother ended being the main stay of his care , in january he went into hospital with a chest infection and uti he was very poorly they sent him to recover in a care home which while he was there it became apparent this was what was needed as toward the end of life in his bungalow we had to lock him in so he did not wander and as he smoked this was not safe it was a nightmare but what else could we do ....
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- Thread starter foxybabe
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Hello and welcome to TP.
I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. It must be vey hard indeed for you and your family. Please try not to feel guilty. I know that 's easy for me to say but you have nothing to feel guilty about.
Please keep posting on TP. You will find lots of help, support and advice here.
I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. It must be vey hard indeed for you and your family. Please try not to feel guilty. I know that 's easy for me to say but you have nothing to feel guilty about.
Please keep posting on TP. You will find lots of help, support and advice here.
Hi there - it sounds like you have done so much for your dad and you have been a wonderful daughter. You have tried your hardest which is all you can do. If it has got to stage that your dad needs professional care then maybe that's the best thing for him - and for you. Best wishes.
Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
Please don't feel bad. There so often comes a time when family simply can't cope any more, and the person is not safe to be left for even half an hour. Unless someone can be with them (and awake!) ALL day, ALL night, day in, day out, then a CH will usually be the only option. I think we all feel guilty about it, even when we know in our hearts that there is no practicable alternative. What we want is the pre- dementia person back, so none of this upheaval and heartache would be necessary, but we know that is never going to happen.
Welcome again, Foxybabe, I'm glad to see you've started your own thread. Like the others, I want to reassure you. It must be a harrowing decision, but I feel it was the right one, the one that was best for your dad's welfare and safety. You have done nothing wrong.
xx
xx
I'm also a new member. My mum was diagnosed with vascular dementia last year and is now in a CH. She lived on her own and was very independent but the dementia was getting worse - hallucinations etc and after she was found wandering on the road was taken into care. She now seems so much better as she's getting cared for in the home but I feel so bad about it all. I tried to look after her (I live 60 miles away) but she just didn't settle and wanted to go home all the time, said I was keeping her a prisoner! Just when I thought she was settling in at the CH she is now wanting to be home again and getting upset which of course makes me upset and worried. The staff at the CH are brilliant but I feel so bad all the time - there doesn't seem to be a way out.
